To leave Children alone for 30 minutes in the evening

[Flowercat1982]

Just trying to see what people's opinions are. I recently applied for a job I was really interested in. Applied late one evening, got a phone call the next morning to have an interview the next day, so I possibly had quite a good chance of getting the job. Long story short, the job entailed staying till 10pm at night. It's 5/10 minute drive from home. I had to turn it down as my partner works nights and leaves at 9.40/9.45 to get into work. 3 children aged 12, 5 and 3. Would it be really bad of me to have even considered leaving the children at home on there own at night for 30 minutes? They would all be in bed. At the moment my flexibility to work seems really limited. I know some people will say, just wait until the children are in school before changing jobs but the type of I'm looking at does not come up very often. And often will involve evenings.

Mine are 12 & 10 and even then I wouldn't be very keen on doing this at night. They're too young, it's a pain though when you're a bit trapped by childcare but you can't do it.

Is this a wind up? Of course you can’t leave a 3yo and 5yo alone for half an hour! If anyone found out they’d quite rightly call social services. It’s worrying that you even thought this was a possibility.

You need a babysitter sorry - too young . The 12 year old ok but not the others . Fire risk etc.

No, they're too young. I will leave my 12 year old home alone but he's not keen to be left when it's dark.
There is also the worry that they are all asleep. If anything happened to you and you couldn't get home, nobody would know until one of the little ones woke up with no adult there.

Definitely not ok. What if you were driving home and crashed your car? Not worth the risk.

No way.

It’s such a shame for 30mins but the 2 younger ones are way too young.

If you and your DH can’t be flexible then it may be worth looking into a local babysitter just for that half an hour.

Agree with this - this shouldn’t even need to be questioned. 3 and 5 year olds absolutely should not be left home alone. A 12 year old cannot be responsible for them. This would be a huge safeguarding concern for schools etc if it did happen and they found out. It’s a sitter for them all or no job surely.

This.

No their to Young, to many risks and the reality is it wouldn't be 30 mins as nobody leaves work on time.

No- because what if your partner had an issue or delay getting back. (It does happen) the 12 year old - yes - but too young to be left in charge of the other 2

Not a chance in hell would I be leave a 3 and 5 year old home alone with just a 12 year old there as the authority? Regardless of how much you would enjoy this new job more, you chose to have kids and they're going to have to come first

12yo yes, if they were ok with it. Some 12yos aren't OK with being alone in the house at night - its scary for them. I wouldn't do it if they weren't ok with it and I'd be wary of a 12yo trying to be good and pretending not to be worried because they don't want to make me sad.
Little ones no, not with 12yo. Too much responsibility on 12, those ages wake up randomly and get upset.
Also long term relying on your older one to mandatory childcare isn't fair. It would mean 12yo can't go out/have sleepovers be anything other than home and it won't be more than a couple of years until they will be out and about and wanting to do more. 4 years from now, you'll have a 9yo and 7yo who will still need childcare and a 16yo who may not want to be home every night (and it wouldn't be fair to make them for your childcare).

Definitely not for with the two younger children. And personally, I would not leave a 12 year old alone at that time of night when they are asleep (during the day- fine).

No, too much responsibility for the 12 year old. Assuming the oldest is sensible, I'd consider it if it was just the 5 year old, but not the 3 year old.

Your biggest problem seems to be that you're married to a prick.

I can't wrap my head around the fact that you would even consider this.

You have a DH problem, not a new job problem.

Also, ask about flexibility. Seriously. They may surprise you.

Ever heard of Madeline McCann

Can you get a babysitter in? Or would there be family or a friend who could be there for the kids?

This can't be real nobody in their right minds would think this was ok.

Guys pipe down! She already did the right thing and isn’t going ahead with it.

However, it is really not clear whether your DP’s job is so inflexible, or whether HE is just being inflexible to suit his own playing football twice a week… do you get to do a hobby twice a week and other days off too?
I think you need to advocate for yourself here. You do have a right to a more satisfying fulfilling job too so make that clear to him.

If he has the power to make this work for you, he should at least ask.

they would all be in bed!??!? well thats okay then EXCEPT

what if something was left on and there was a house fire?

what if someone broke in?

someone had a nightmare and woke to being home alone?

someone gets gastro

the 3 year old wakes and can't find you and decides to go looking for you outside the house

If I was your neighbour and noticed you doing this I would report you to social services!

get a babysitter or one of you change your hours slightly

Did none of you babysit at 12? I looked after young kids for a lot more than 30 minutes and when they were awake.

Would it be a possibility to ask to finish 15minutes earlier and partner to leave 15 minutes later of both employers?

Sorry- missed the not a chance update.

You have to look at it from the perspective of can the 5 year old. Can they manage an emergency situation if something happens to the 12 year old. It’s just not safe.