Should we fire our current nanny?

[confjul]

FTM here and very confused about what to do next. We had a hard time finding a good nanny. The first one we found was at a premium price where we live. She seemed great with our baby, knew a ton of games and development stuff. However, she was a slacker. She wouldn't even pick up our baby's pacifiers from the floor and never clean a bottle or plate of the baby. Sometimes, she would even leave her plates and glasses on the kitchen counter. We fired her after 2 months.
The second one we got wasn't as good at playing games with LO and entertaining her but at least she does her duties. She has been with us for 7 months. We thought all was well but then she told us all of a sudden that she wants 30%-35% increase of her salary. We were shocked. First of all, most people told us that we are paying her way more than current market and to ask for more after being with us less than 1 year? I have seen on platforms that she is actively job hunting. I have to add that this nanny also has an attitude and I was on the point of firing her 2 months ago. I guess she sensed it and she immediately corrected her behavior. There would be small things about what I wanted her to do with LO that she just totally disregarded to my face and then she would play all innocent and dumb that she didn't understand when confronted about it.
A few days ago, we have started nanny-hunting as well and we have found 2 girls (with actual qualifications and also references) for 20% less than what we pay our current nanny. My husband wants me to fire the current girl ASAP. I am also tired of her but I am also worried for LO since she became fond of the current girl. What would you do in my place?

You've already considered firing her, now she wants a pretty massive pay rise and it looks like she is looking to leave you anyway - no brainer surely?

She's obviously not happy working for you and you're not happy with her...just let her go.

It's only a matter of time before she quits anyway so it doesn't matter whether LO would be upset realistically

Firing 2 nannies in 9 months is not a good record. Ask her honestly why she isn’t happy working for you. Most nannies stay in a job for quite a long time.

Obviously just fire her. She’s going to leave anyway.

It doesn't sound like it's working out for either of you so best to end it now.

However, do ask yourself why you're getting through nannies at such a rate. And also find out what the going rate is, because you seem to have little idea what actually is an acceptable salary.

Keep a record of the times that you have asked her to do something and she has refused or has not done it. Ask ACAS for advice on terminating contract and do it according to her contract. This usually requires a written warning, being given a chance to improve, unless there is gross misconduct which can be instant dismissal.

Do interview the other candidates but if they really are great, qualified and better than the ones you have had already, don't under pay them, offer them the salary you were paying the other nannies. Be explicit in your contract about duties, review of performance, trial period and notice.

Presumably she’s a woman, not a girl. It doesn’t sound like the arrangement is working so there’s no need to continue it.

If you not satisfied with your nanny, why not look after your own child. You could maybe find a childminder instead,

Give her notice, it’s obviously just a matter of time before she leaves anyway. I would think clearly about your expectations and discuss this with new potential to ensure you are on the same page. Make sure you are definitely paying in line with your area. I wouldn’t worry about your LO bond, children are very adaptable and you need to think about your child’s needs longer term as long as you would need a nanny for

You’re not happy with her, she’s not happy with you so I would let the current one go. BUT most important of all your LO needs a consistent caregiver so you need to take every step possible to avoid a third quick turnover. Are the duties you’re asking reasonable for a nanny role, is the salary in line with said duties and working hours, are you clearly communicating these requirements at interview? You might be best going via an agency since something is clearly off here- either you’re really bad at interviewing which is why you’ve hired 2 poor candidates or what you’re asking the nanny to do is totally unreasonable for the money. An agency should be able to help set you right. Good luck.

I get the feeling there is a lot more to this. I would love to hear the nanny's side of the story.

Ever heard of continuity of care? & I think if you get a new nanny you need to do a lot of home work & manage your expectations of what they should do about your housework.
A qualified Nanny who does not live in expects a really decent salary not a minimum wage. If you get a young girl to care for your little one she may move on & getting a nanny based on lower salary doesn't bode well.
See if you can get someone older & qualified (NVQ) & experienced or get a childminder or nursery.

Yeah getting rid of 2 nannies in 9 months is a bit suspect, sounds like there is certainly more to this story. However, LO is your child and you know best, I would say children are very adaptable and resilient.
It does sound like it's a two sided thing though - you may be difficult to work with and therefore she is slacking as a result of not really wanting to try as you are never pleased! I could be totally wrong, but it certainly sounds like there is more to it.

I’d be interested to hear the other side of the story. Also, are you talking about a nanny, or a girl? You seem to use both terms interchangeably. Presumably one is a qualified professional, and the other is an au pair type younger girl who you think you can shaft on wages?

Does FTM here mean full-time mum? If so, could it be your nannies have been intimidated by you being there all the time? If they are experienced and come with good references there is obviously something amiss.

I'm getting the distinct impression that nothing is ever going to be good enough for you. By all means give notice to the current nanny, but be prepared for the next one to be substandard as well.

I would have stuck with the first one. Sorry. I would prioritise what they do with my baby much higher than the odd plate left out!! Sod that. Even if they were a complete slob as long as my baby was happy, stimulated and safe with someone who had their best interests at the heart of what they did I would still want her. Get her back!!

I have only hired a nanny once and that was from an agency. It didn't work out but at least it was very clear what I had to pay, tax, holiday, severance terms etc. It sounds like you may be non UK but if you're in London, have a look at Koru Kids as I.found them very helpful on paperwork and frankly, it doesn't sound like you and your DH are very experienced employers.

Either you are crap at hiring, you're much harder to work for than you think, or you've been the victim of some very bad luck. It's impossible to say which, but I do have some questions. Why don't you know what the market rate is for nannying where you are? Didn't you check references for the first two nannies? Or were you trying to cheap out by paying min wage to inexperienced young women?

Sometimes, she would even leave her plates and glasses on the kitchen counter
Um... do you mean instead of washing them? In our house we don't have a dishwasher and we wash dishes once per day in one go. Maybe that's what she's used to. It's not like she left them on the floor in the hallway or something weird like that. What a strange reason to fire a nanny!

You need a good match, she doesn’t seem to like working for you and you don’t seem to like her very much either so I’d get rid and make sure the next one is a good fit, it’s not great to have people in and out of babies lives so much.

Ps. I have heard it said that a nanny is either great with the house or great with the children, and I tend to think it's true. Pick your poison, because a nanny who is great with the children is going to be engaging with them, not ignoring them so she can polish the kitchen counters. A nanny shouldn't leave a mess and should tidy away toys and kids' dishes, etc, but she or he is not a fucking skivvy. They're a childcare professional.

If you not satisfied with your nanny, why not look after your own child. You could maybe find a childminder instead

There's always one . I presume the reason OP needs a nanny is so she can put her feet up and lie on the sofa all day. Is that right, OP?

How would you feel if your doctor or hairdresser had their small child screaming and playing next to them while they were trying to treat you or cut your hair? Because we should all look after our own children, right? Even if it means being negligent in our jobs or taking a few chunks out of a customer's ear.

I see a lot of messages assuming we are paying her less and making her do housework. From where is this coming from? I have mentioned that she is paid more than current average market price. As for my saying girl is that she is way younger than me and with the immature behaviour she has shown, it was more a way of expressing myself than anything else. She is not a qualified nanny. The first one was studying to become one. As for her salary being above average, I had nothing against it since I wanted LO to have someone reliable long-term but now I see that this strategy clearly doesn't work. My husband wasn't happy with the pay we were giving her.
I think the main problem here is the fact that where we live the vast majority of people prefer nursery to nannies so there is a big shortage of good nannies and then the ones that are on the market might take advantage of people like us who clearly don't want nurseries. My husband and I have thought about this and now that we aren't in a rush to change nannies like the first one (who left in tears - if we were so horrible, why would she cry after us?), we will interview the 2 we liked the most thoroughly and check all their references and NOT offer a wage higher than the average - it was clearly a failed strategy. Thank you all for the inputs.