I’m scared of paedophiles having access to my child when in childcare

[OrangeSprout]

Yes I know how insane this sounds...but I don’t want to hear about me being OTT or getting help for being irrational.
What are other mums doing about childcare who are thinking about this too?
I have a meeting with a childminder today, who looks great. Her husband is also a childminder and will be around in the day too. Registered and dbs checked and all the qualifications and experience, ticks all boxes and I think DS would thrive in her care, but how can I get reassurance? Or minimise risk with choosing Childcare?
Quitting work and being with DS 24/7 would obviously get rid of risk but then stifle his development and I need to work!
There’s no other easy answer, but would really appreciate other’s ideas or thoughts on being as practically safe as possible.

I believe when a persons anxiety is so extreme that they are irrational, this does damage them their child.

Use a nursery? More people around

Sexual abuse in childcare is less of a worry than accidents and negligence....you need to get the risks in perspective.....all abuse is much more likely at home or with family and friends. Children are not safer in women only settings as in most cases with young children its the women facilitating the abuse and this does happen in nursery but more often than any in the child's own home. But its rarer than a child choking.

You have no right to see a DBS it is a confidential document Ofsted are the regulating body and they make sure all adults in a house are suitable in the same way a nursery manager would get a suitability letter from Ofsted regarding staffs DBS a childminder will have suitability letters. Ofsted also do identity checks insurance checks etc. So Ofsted registration is suitability just like with s nursery or a school.
The best ways to protect your child is to learn the indicators of abuse and watch the relationships between adults and children....very hard in s nursery with numerous staff including agency ones....and dont assume more people is more saftey thoese young 16 year old apprentices would not be confident to say to their boss what you did isnt right neither would many worried about their jobs which is why the guidence tries to bring in supervision to get around this but still it relies on you reporting your college and often your boss.

We chose a nursery for this reason. It doesn't eliminate the risk but dc at a nursery spend far less time one on one with an adult than they would at a childminder.

OrangeSprout You are not wrong in wanting to protect your child. That's what a good parent does. I hope you can find the right solution for you and your family.

@Myshinynewname
More abuse happens in nursery

@jannier fair enough, but in my individual circumstances (after visiting nurseries and childminders and speaking to them about how they ran the day) I felt more reassured by the nursery setting where there were always multiple members of staff in the room together.
Also, how many children are in nursery vs how many are at a childminder?
Nowhere is risk free, but I was more comfortable with the risk in nursery.

@Myshinynewname
As an assessor I can tell you what they show a visitor is not necessarily the staffing of a room when the doors are closed. Itscommon practice to use the delay for staff to return to rooms. I've seen all sorts and becouse you dont build a relationship with staff you dont get a feel for them if you've spent time everyday talking face to face for 20 minutes you do get an idea of how caring someone really you also see them working everyday and how warm the relations are.

I'm not trying to answer for everyone else, just for myself as a mum who has had dc at their nursery for almost 9 years. The room is visible as you approach through huge windows running the length of the building, there is no hiding what the staff and children are doing. I've been a shift worker and dropped off and collected at odd times unannounced, it's always the same. Maybe I've been lucky or maybe it's because I took time to choose somewhere who understood the concerns of parents like me.

@jannier

scommon practice to use the delay for staff to return to rooms.

Sorry; what do you mean by this?

@OverTheRainbow88

When the bell goes staff are slow answering to allow time for others to return to rooms. They maybe elsewhere doing paperwork covering other areas etc

@jannier

Ah ok, thanks!

I guess at the moment as we don’t go in we have to trust everything’s in order inside!

@jannier
most cases with young children its the women facilitating the abuse

This is simply not true, sources please.

You know, my DD goes to a nursery where they employ one man. He's worked there for nearly 17 years.. One morning he was doing the intake as DDs room person wasn't in yet.. DD was scared of him but i gently coaxed her in and told her there was nothing to be scared of.. I made a point of getting to know him and for DD to see him because he works in the next year groups room above DD which she will progress into this year. I think go with your gut, but these people are qualified and rigorously checked. I think people in childcare are dbs checked regularly also. There's such a stigma associated with men in childcare. Some of the best nannies end up being men.

I'm genuinely amazed at how many perceive there to be less risk in a nursery than with a Cm (not questioning it just surprised). I'm a childminder and like every other childminder I know, I'm first and foremost a parent - we are already carers of our own child and surely far less likely to be abusers than nursery workers. My eldest went to a nursery and whilst I was very happy and trusted the staff, there was no way the same depth of relationship you have with a Cm so I never really felt I knew his keyworker (& without question there were times when they were alone - I'm fine with that as I trusted the staff but I do think it's naive to assume your child with always have two pairs of adult eyes on them).

I love and care for my charges like I would a niece or nephew and whilst yes I am alone with the children, the relationship I have with parents is such that there isn't even a question of mistrust. I can't imagine mentioning a sore bottom after a nappy change and worrying about potential allegations

All that said, I'm also staggered how many of you are so genuinely concerned about this issue - I vetted nurseries and staff in that I checked their Ofsted report and met the staff but otherwise didn't question their motives to be anything other than genuine. I think it's quite sad that there is almost as assumption of guilt if you work in childcare and you need to prove otherwise.

I’d go with a nursery @OrangeSprout

No amount of training and dbs checking could stop a determined peadophile. Trust me. Nursery is better as th are more people there. Your child would 99 Per cent be fine but I wouldn’t trust that kind of setting.

I will 100% get flamed for this but here we go... I obviously looked for well recommended / dbs check / registered etc etc. But I also avoided male childminders. For me that in itself presented a risk I wasn't happy taking. (Dons hard hat)

I know how you feel OP, I felt like this with my first and was more experienced in care settings by the time I had my second. However I'm always on high alert stemming from childhood abuse and it took a lot of reassurance to place my son. Basically I had to train myself to calm down.

If you do all the necessary checks and research and keep an eye on behaviours etc then realistically that's all you can do.

I get it though, I really do

To the no men...mummies....
How did you trust your partner to ever have had children? Would you let grandparents care for them but only if granny does the nappies? If your son wants to be a child carer would you assume he's a peadophile? Would you watch your son with his child and warn his partner that he's enjoying being a dad too much?

@Marley20
Working with my local safegaurding board where all cases of abuse come in from all sources and are investigated

@jannier

To the no men...mummies....
How did you trust your partner to ever have had children? Would you let grandparents care for them but only if granny does the nappies? If your son wants to be a child carer would you assume he's a peadophile? Would you watch your son with his child and warn his partner that he's enjoying being a dad too much?

Err, we're talking about assessing risk when deciding which type of childcare to use not trusted and loved family members you numpty.

@jannier

To the no men...mummies.... How did you trust your partner to ever have had children? Would you let grandparents care for them but only if granny does the nappies? If your son wants to be a child carer would you assume he's a peadophile? Would you watch your son with his child and warn his partner that he's enjoying being a dad too much?

It's all risk based. I wouldn't trust a man who decided to become a childminder and for him to have sole access to my child in his home for 7+ hours every day. Especially from 11 months old. Just as lots of women don't want men in their spaces based on risk. I would choose to avoid male childminders. The risk I believe is minimal but an easy red flag for me.

Not everybody is a paedophile but the ones that are would likely to be working with kids. You are right to feel like this.

I felt similar, but not paedophiles.
So we didn't use childcare, nurseries or pre schools.
Tightened our belts, lived frugally, it worked for us.