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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Sour end

102 replies

Jazsullfan1 · 29/11/2020 18:33

Hi all.

So an incident took place this week and my childminder didn’t disclose it to me. When I picked my Son up he disclosed his events of what happen he was not upset and I didn’t think much of it. We were on our way home and I didn’t know what to say and at the time I didn’t think it was a big deal. The childminder I was was due to be finishing work in the next 5 weeks anyway. It’s a newish arrangement around 7 weeks she has been working for me.

I run the situation by some friends and they were disgusted by what went on.

So the incident was that CM broke down just as she left my house. The CM allegedly banged on the steering wheel and said “I’m going to get a flaming ticket”. DS then went on to ask if “they were going to walk to school” I assume this annoyed the CM at that moment in time and she told DS to “shut up”.

Personally I don’t think it’s the end of the world because nobody is perfect but i txted the CM and to cut a LONG story short she denied saying shut up and she did admit to getting a ticket... she down played the situation and she said it was only 5 mins! (Which I believe to be true that the breakdown wasn’t long)

I’m annoyed with how she’s been so unprofessional and really rude when I challenged her on this and she’s turned it round on me saying she no longer feels comfortable to come to my house (she usually starts from 7pm sleeps overnight) and local school run in the morn.

Am I missing something here? Should the CM of disclosed the issue rather waiting for DS to come back and say who is 6.

OP posts:

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Original poster

Jazsullfan1 · 30/11/2020 05:40

@Coyoacan you don’t know how she said it do you? Also DS hasn’t known her like that on that level for her to be speaking like that. Your speaking as though the nanny has been in our lives 1 year. The nanny clearly needed to just breathe the breakdown was 5 mins she got the car going quite quickly.
Was there any need to get that highly stressed? She was not on a motorway.
Panicking about getting a ticket.... it was not in a city centre it was doors away from my house the ticket attendants rarely come around. I can understand worrying about a ticket had she been parked for over an hour. It was 5mins. It’s a good job the car starts if the car breakdown was so stressful that lasted all of 5mins.

I still think she should of mentioned the situation because children do relay things and children don’t always tell the full situation. As an adult she should of mentioned it.

Just because you may speak to your kids in that tone doesn’t entitle you to speak to other people’s kids in that manner.

She’s new to the job and to some extent I expect her to have a little more patience after 7 weeks and just run any problems targeting than DS relaying first as he is 6 and it’s not his responsibility for a start.

OP posts:

lovelemoncurd · 30/11/2020 06:11

You're not from the North op are you. Here the neighbours tell your kids to shut up and you thank them for it!

NeonIcedcoffee · 30/11/2020 08:00

You are coming across as quite highly strung op. It soukds like you've basically lost your nanny over this. I also echo pp's in that if she was prepared to leave this quickly this wasn't the only issue.

Vacay21 · 30/11/2020 12:58

@NeonIcedcoffee because people have made several assumptions. “How old is DS again? He went to his dads. If you get on someone’s case rightly so I will stick up for myself he went to his dads. Also there’s a few posters on here that have tried to deliberately imply that DS is lying and questioned me over mixing CM and the word nanny up. Does it really matter.

Vacay21 · 30/11/2020 13:00

@NeonIcedcoffee

The nanny left because she has not done her job properly and she should of just mentioned the situation. She works from 6pm and DS sleeps all night at 7pm and she does the school run. It’s no hardship compared to many jobs. I leave at 6pm. You have assumed.

CaptainMyCaptain · 30/11/2020 13:31

I don't normally do this but you've said it so many times I have to...

it's SHOULD HAVE not SHOULD OF.

Sorry.

jannier · 30/11/2020 18:34

I'm not sure what the incident was that you originally wanted her to admit to ( I get from the third page your child getting out of the car) she broke down or couldn't start car most people would be stressed at that point even if after a deep breath and 5 minutes of trying the car started. .presumably she was concerned about getting your child to school late about possible costs etc but then the car started turning it from an event needing you to know to a non event not requiring you to know.....she may or may not have thumped the steering wheel many might have done that.....she may have said something to your child..it may have been shut up or shush again things happen and no swear word was used.....but the event was probably forgotten at the time of your text as the car had started and umpteen things may have happened in the day. I think your nanny had a lucky escape

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 30/11/2020 18:58

Not sure why she would think she would get a ticket. Yhats the last thing I would think of if I broke down.

Also not sure why you keep calling her a childminder when she's not.

I wouldn't say shut uk to a child though, but she denied that so no way of knowing. She's not looking after your child anymore so not sure why you are asking really.

Vacay21 · 30/11/2020 20:59

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion I was asking because that’s what people do on MN. I have only ever used a nanny once. Do you need to be repeat what has already been said? Does it make you feel important?

Doesn’t anybody ever post on old situations?

I asked because it was a recent situation and it was playing on my mind have I justified myself for you?

Absolutely there’s no way of knowing I have agreed with you and others who on that matter. The fact is the principle though I had to make a choice and I did I choose to believe DS.

Exactly she denied it and that is the problem whilst a poster said she felt uncomfortable I absolutely hear that. However I feel uncomfortable also because this wasn’t flagged up to me had she had of disclosed this I would of brushed it off.

It’s awkward all round. I leave her with my child overnight and I don’t want lies being told weather that be DS or her.

I’m the parent at the end of the day and I think some comments on here are very ridiculous.... “I tell my child to shut up” 😂😂😂😂

Yes because it’s your own child you can do what you like! Not even teachers speak like that and they have 30 kids to look after..

You don’t know me or my circumstances as to why I left my child with her. I’m not the only parent to use childcare.

Something didn’t sit right I asked her why she didn’t call me about DS and she made up excuses!

@jannier that’s no excuse I work on the front line and I have a duty to document and I work under pressure many of times. I get paid to do. Everyone makes mistakes granted. Own it.

Would you believe a nanny after 7 weeks? Over your Son? Because that’s what it boils down to. Good for you if you want to take that risk!

jannier · 30/11/2020 21:07

But up until you found out your son got out of the car....really bad....I dont know what the issue was do you really expect every little detail whilst getting into my car I dropped the keys type level she briefly thought there was a problem then there wasn't....thats like saying I went to change x couldn't find the clothes though oh blimey then looked again....
I'm not sure id belive your child on the wording and actions as at 6 I'm sure he knows how to deflect from dont tell me off for undoing and getting out of the car mummy they change dramatically when they are at school.

Poppypopi80 · 30/11/2020 21:11

@jannier I take your opinion on board that you wouldn’t believe your own Son over someone who you have known 7 weeks. That’s entirely down to you.

No I don’t expect every detail HOWEVER in my line of work if someone makes an allegation against be weather it be true or not my manager would have me in the office to ask me.

DS brought it to my attention that is the difference. I never asked DS about the journey to school. It would be the last thing on my mind after finishing a night shift!

Put yourself in my shoes what would you do as a parent?

CaptainMyCaptain · 30/11/2020 21:26

Is the OP using three different names now? It's confusing.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 30/11/2020 21:35

Do you need to be repeat what has already been said? Does it make you feel important?

It's hard to keep track of what you've answered. I've counted about 3 different names so far, but then i didn't read the whole thread though because you're rambling a bit.

You don’t know me or my circumstances as to why I left my child with her. I’m not the only parent to use childcare.

Yes I know, a childminder.

Something didn’t sit right I asked her why she didn’t call me about DS and she made up excuses!

Not sure what you wanted her to call you for?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 30/11/2020 21:37

I'm a childminder

jannier · 30/11/2020 21:41

I guess working with children for so many years opens your eyes to how angels can learn to twist things 9nce they enter the school world.

Of course if it were an allegation of something worth bringing up it would be investigated and is part of the Ofsted requirements (is she an Ofsted registered Nanny) but Ofsted would laugh at you for saying my nanny broke down hit the steering wheel with her hand and allegedly told my 6 year old to shut up.....they are more interested in children put at risk and important issues. But I guess as you no longer need a nanny you won't be paying any notice so all ends well

Neverhadabowlike · 30/11/2020 21:43

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

I'm a childminder

Please wind your neck in. You can scroll on if it’s boring you. Nobody is forcing you to read the thread or half read. Maybe that’s why your not sure CM.

ColdNovemberNights · 30/11/2020 21:44

Are you paying her a nanny or childminders wage?

ColdNovemberNights · 30/11/2020 21:48

How many hours a week does she do for £500 a month? How many over nights?

Schummakker · 30/11/2020 23:40

You really should just move on from this now if you’re not prepared to hear opinions having posted for opinions.

jannier · 01/12/2020 08:00

People who don't want others opinions should say please only reply if you think I'm perfectly reasonable....you would think by 4 pages of no agreements you would just slouch off and think about if you need to reassess and not do The Trump

CaptainMyCaptain · 01/12/2020 08:35

Another name change!

OP, you are clearly very difficult to get on with judging by your argumentative tone on this thread. I think your nanny/childminder has had a lucky escape. I doubt very much that this has been the first incident.

Yellow4cherries · 01/12/2020 08:38

@jannier

Yellow4cherries · 01/12/2020 08:40

@CaptainMyCaptain you should pipe down hun! Quite a few people have judged me quite harshly and DS. Bore right off!

Yellow4cherries · 01/12/2020 08:41

I also apologise to her too!

CaptainMyCaptain · 01/12/2020 08:48

[quote Yellow4cherries]@CaptainMyCaptain you should pipe down hun! Quite a few people have judged me quite harshly and DS. Bore right off![/quote]

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