What am I doing wrong... or do we just have too many kids?

[seafoodudon]

We've just had two au pairs lasting about six months each, and both were pretty successful (neither perfect, obvs, but both really solid and the childcare got done safely and effectively). The second of these au pairs left suddenly (nothing to do with the job or us), and we're really struggling to replace her.

We're using au pair world as that worked well for the last two (and previously we'd used an agency but I totally balked when I found that for the £600 fee they had done nothing more than read her application form and speak to her on the phone - that au pair was good, but only by luck!).

However, for about 10 days now I've been checking in twice a day, sending messages to girls (I'm probably pushing 100 messages now), and not really getting anywhere with anyone. Most of my messages go ignored. We got as far as a phone interview with one who sounded lovely, but then it transpired that there was a really messy backstory about why she wanted to come to the UK and we decided we couldn't risk being involved (it was illegal...).

I think our profile is very 'honest' as we have four young kids and our house is busy BUT we're clear that the max hours per week will be 30 (which is in line with what APW says is 'normal') and we're offering £100 pocket money plus a weekly bus pass worth £15pw. Whilst APW suggest £80-£85. The room is honestly lovely (big converted attic space with exclusive use of new bathroom) - I wish I could go live up there. We never expect work at the weekend, and we can normally give the au pair at least one other day off in the week.

We live in Manchester - rather than London - which I genuinely think is a super city, and we live close to the city centre (15 mins on the bus) - but it seems so many au pairs just want to be in London.

Sorry - not quite sure what I'm looking for here - top tips perhaps?!

@loungewearfan - no you are incorrect.
As I've said just ring HMRC and they will set you straight. If you are currently hosting and paying more than £116 then it's a bit tedious to register, but you have to and ignorance of the law is not a defence.

Oh and I hope you do find someone soon OP.

underneaththeash, you are not correct, there is a specific exception for Au Pairs but you clearly won’t be told that you are wrong. The only registration that needs to be done is if pocket money is more than 11.5k. I suggest you call HMRC instead of posting incorrect advice.

I suspect that Brexit is putting EU Au-Pairs Off as others say. Maybe advertise again in April or May if the visa / work permit/ nothing needed situation is clear by then.

In Germany teens won't babysit for more than 2 children generally, so young women from EU countries with low birth rates might see 4 children as an overwhelming number! Not much you can do about that except emphasis that they're easy going, well behaved kids...

I haven't RTFT but just wanted to say I disagree with the idea young people wouldn't want to be in Manchester. It's one of the biggest student cities in the U.K. with lots of international students (who chose to go there!). Could you look at some of the university websites and see how they market Manchester and the type of language they use?

I lived in Manchester for over a decade, it's an amazing city.

However you are tripping if you think bedtime for 4 kids is no more work than 2!!!!

My Neighbour has 3 kids and a Nanny and bedtime is still hideous.

100 is nowhere near enough.

Don't be disheartened by the lack of applicants to you. I also got very few last year. I'm in London with two children.

You need to send the initial contact and do a lot of leg work. I think I maxed out the maximum number of messages every day for the first week!

Tricky. I’ve had a couple of au pairs and I’m also in Manchester. I found one on APW and found I was inundated with emails from potential Au pairs though admittedly this was before Brexit. I have two kids but one was in nursery and one at school so I used to get my au pairs to drop them off and pick them up 4 days a week, they had the rest of the day to themselves and then they had Friday/Saturday/Sunday off. No cleaning etc. I paid them £80 a week and didn’t pay for their flights etc.

Maybe the other two didn't stick it long because they thought they could manage 4 well behaved children and maybe yours aren't as well behaved as you'd like to think so whatever 'perks' your offered may just not be enough for the hassle and behaviour of the kids

Looking after 4 children would be a challenge for an inexperienced au pair. OP, it sounds like you need an experienced, trained nanny who can commit to a longer period than 6 months.

Sorry I have an au pair and think you are offering way too little money for way too much work. Mine does about 8 hours a week usually with only one child. 30 hours is too much. It should be 16 or less, childcare (no sole charge of young children) and light house hod duties. How would she even have time to do classes? Even just bathing four kids and getting them ready for bed four days a week is a big ask never mind all the other stuff.

two/bev/zsaz - the OP has already posted an update (she's found a new au pair).

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/au_pairs/3519482-UPDATE-to-what-we-were-doing-wrong-and-au-pairs-with-four-kids

I think 100 for 30 hours and 4 kids is not that much. We offer 100 for 25 hours and 2 kids...also a very nice room, location etc. I think most au pairs would opt for 2 kids and 25 hours....so you would need to make your offer more appealing. Such as 140 a week for 30 hours and 4 kids. Or at least 120!

Sorry I'm a bit late replying but incase this issue is still ongoing...

We have just recruited a new Au Pair, she started this month so I was looking same time as you. We live in London (well, just, zone 6!). I also struggled to find many and like you we have a lovely big private room and nice house and we are a nice family (I think!).

We have 3 children and I give ours £150 p/w. I do think £100 p/w is a bit low for 4 kids. I know the site says £80 p/w but I wonder how up to date that is as some I have asked looked after 1 child and got £100-150.

I wouldnt do it for £100 as 4 kids is a lot, especially seem as i could find a AP job looking after 2 kids for the same price.