Is my aupair being cheeky? Says it is hard for her to walk 25 min each way for school run.

[blueshoes]

My first aupair (French) is starting in Aug. But I am already having doubts.

An important part of the aupair's duties is to do my dd's school run. The school is a 25 min walk away, with dd age 4 in a buggy. Now the aupair emails to says that a 25x4 walk every day is hard for her to do.

She was asking about taking a bus and having a bus pass.

I emailed her to explain that a bus would take longer (35 min+), she would still have to walk 20 mins each way (because the school is not near the bus stop), and the roads are congested in the mornings. Plus it will cost us £20 a week in bus fare. She does not seem to have taken that in (language problem?).

Is she angling for us to provide her with a bus pass or contribute to her travel costs? Or does she have a point about such a long walk? I personally have done it (old-ish and weak as I am, lol) and don't see why a young strapping 20 year old cannot.

We are paying her £65 a week allowance - which I feel is slightly above market for what is IMO quite an easy job(London).

Do any of you who are aupair employers pay/subsidise transport costs on top of allowance? Should I ditch her before she starts, as being lame?

2 miles a day?

Filly, do you really think it takes someone 2 hours to walk 2 miles?

Even pushing a buggy it wouldn't take that long.

Like I said, I cover 2.5 miles uphill in about 40 minutes, so I reckon this is about 5 miles/days. And then there's the buggy with 4-year-old in it.

I agree, TnOgu, with your post. No surprise there!

Bottom line is, the gal doesn't want to do it.

So best get to finding someone who will.

oh lol i meant 2 hours, typo

Thomcat - my aupair (6 years ago @£45 per week) slept in DS's top bunk in his room!! We had found her when we lived in a larger house, then moved and gave her the option of finding another family but she said it was fine sharing with DS!

I agree that you shouldn't ask someone to do what you wouldn't do yourself. And that she's clearly the wrong person for the job if she balks at it. But in principle, it is sooo not hard work.

I wouldn't fancy a 50 minute round trip every morning and every night, especially in the cold and rain. I do think it is longer than average for a school run.

Is your DD starting school, rather than preschool? If so I can imagine she will not be wanting to be in a buggy. DD is in reception year and there isn't a chance you'd have got her ina buggy once at school.

So if DD is walking that 25 minutes will be much longer.

But I frequently don't fancy coming into the office in the morning - this is a job, and in the scheme of things, its not such a bad one.

Not to you, elliott, but blueshoes au pair seems to think it a bit much.

ele, would love to give her marching orders. The thought of re-advertising fills me with dread. Mind you, I got 50 potential aps email me a day, so the job is not unattractive. And none fell away when I mentioned £65 a week - so it must be an acceptable rate for the hours I am asking at some level.

lizziemum, you are an inspiration to ex-drivers, reformed walkers.

Filou.RnB, thanks for the support.

I am not here to fleece some young lady. I really want to include her as part of my family and make this an enjoyable experience for her. But the school run (on foot) is a non-negotiable dealbreaker if she cannot do it. It IS the main reason I am prepared to share my roof and privacy. So that is why I am now s_ing bricks.

Best to face up to reality and find someone else, because if she has to do that school run the 'enjoyable' experience will be anything but.

She has made this clear to you and a dealbreaker is just that.

Had a glance at the latest posts - great views, no time to respond yet. erm, got to push ds to sleep now - more walking. Later.

Possibly, she doesn't want to accept your post. No good going throught he rigramole, only to have her quit after a week.

why on earth is a 4 year old in a buggy? that must weigh a ton to push. if the answer is that she can't walk that far, then pay for the bus.

if you are only paying £65 for childcare you can afford another £20 for the bus without bankrupting the household

blueshoes - if you're still around - I'd try Dutch, they cycle everywhere and get car sick On your list of questions ask if they suffer from car sickness - if they do hire them

TC - We have a cleaner that does all of the cleaning duties (want her number? - she's brilliant and lives in Eastcote - I pay her £21 a week and she cleans my 4 bed house).

So my AP gets to take dds to school, pick them up, take them to their activities and sit and drink coffee/use the internet whilst waiting for my dds to finish. Then she takes the tube back. Quite easy and I'd love to be paid £65 a week to do this.

Oh and my last AP left to be a waitress (couldn't cope with dd2 moaning all the time ) and she still hasn't got a job and a home. Very apt

Agree with expat

Next time make sure you emphasise that they need to enjoy walking.

Like your thinking, MrsRecycle...

blueshoes - I reckon you need to state up front that the job involves a 25 minute walk, 4 times a day and that it will involve pushing your dd in a pushchair, presumably when she is too tired to walk...

There was another thread yesterday where the OP posted that she'd just realised what a big committment it was to travel 30mins each way to her child's school. Most posters said that they thought it was too much. So why is it okay to walk 25mins each way while pushing a 4yr-old in a pushchair?

Personally I have to walk everywhere so I'm used to it but I can understand why the AP has problems with it.

this thread hits home just how car obsessed this nation is.

I used to walk 25 min, 6 x a day (with 2 at school, 2 at nursery) and it was hideous, up steep hill one way though. We were soaked in the rain, even with rain macs etc. Even when it went to 4 x a day, it was alot. I think it is going to be hard for her and don't think she is being cheeky. These days alot of people expect to drive places, especially due to weather etc. I don't think she is cheeky.

I agree cylonbabe - I would love to be car free and walk everywhere.

yes but years ago cylonbabe the local school would have been round the corner

I guess the weather is far from good at the moment. We did insure our au pair on my car from January to April as I felt a bit sorry for her trudging to and from ds' nursery - 15/20 minute walk each way with big hill involved - in cr*ppy weather... But don't see the problem in good weather, subject to it being very hard to push a 4 year old around. Still not clear if blueshoes' dd walks any part of the way.

Exactly, south.

There was never a car in this story, either, but a tube or a bus. Public transport's been around a while, too.

It's not the au pair. It's the child. 4 is old to be in a pushchair. It is a long walk for a small 4 year old. It will take her a lot longer than 25 minutes if she walks, and I cannot see her wanting to arrive in school in a pushchair. Is this the best way to get her to school?

Expat - depends where you live!