Is my aupair being cheeky? Says it is hard for her to walk 25 min each way for school run.

[blueshoes]

My first aupair (French) is starting in Aug. But I am already having doubts.

An important part of the aupair's duties is to do my dd's school run. The school is a 25 min walk away, with dd age 4 in a buggy. Now the aupair emails to says that a 25x4 walk every day is hard for her to do.

She was asking about taking a bus and having a bus pass.

I emailed her to explain that a bus would take longer (35 min+), she would still have to walk 20 mins each way (because the school is not near the bus stop), and the roads are congested in the mornings. Plus it will cost us £20 a week in bus fare. She does not seem to have taken that in (language problem?).

Is she angling for us to provide her with a bus pass or contribute to her travel costs? Or does she have a point about such a long walk? I personally have done it (old-ish and weak as I am, lol) and don't see why a young strapping 20 year old cannot.

We are paying her £65 a week allowance - which I feel is slightly above market for what is IMO quite an easy job(London).

Do any of you who are aupair employers pay/subsidise transport costs on top of allowance? Should I ditch her before she starts, as being lame?

She is 20 and I thought should be made of sterner stuff. Pollyanna, maybe you are right about aps lacking stamina - eeks, my first one and I did not know that.

I thought easier for her to walk (and choose location of school with that in mind) than need her to drive - which is not easy either and I am assuming horrendously expensive to insure her.

cyclonbabe, I am also thinking that with a raincoat and wellies and good coat, she will be fine. The walk is across a heath and could be cold and windy (and wet) in winter. Not the best. But I did volunteer to drive, if weather was very bad.

Would any of you offer to do one of the school runs, so she only walks 25x2 mins a day. I was planning to anyway, but did not want to mention to tie myself down.

WWB, nope, she is not getting a car in London. Will clock up more parking tickets than I earn.

moon66, she says her health is excellent. Did not mention disabilities.

Thanks for letting me know, RnB. I am prepared to consider paying for her transport, esp for language classes - IF she is good. But not prepared to offer upfront.

chelsea, if you live in chelsea, £65 is probably peanuts for your area. yes, I heard of aupairs getting more in chelsea, but not in my humble patch of SE London!

bozza, I am glad you agree it is not necessary. I can't see how taking a bus is easier - that is why I think she is asking me to subsidise her transport costs.

Hmmm, should I start casting around for other candidates? If I insist on her do the walkx4, is this the sort of thing that will make her a sullen unhappy ap? And if so, I would want to cast around for other candidates - yes, I had to turn away promising ones after I made this one an offer.

I think she (the AP) is being a bit wet tbh. I used to walk easily that far to school /6th form and back (and I'm a fast walker) and from halls of residence to lectures as a student, and that was hilly! She'll need comfy shoes though, which she may not own. I'm always amazed by the number of women who don't own a single pair of shoes they could walk further than the end of the road in... You could take her shoe shopping?

Where did it say FULL TIME??? An AP can only help out for 25 hours a week!!!!

God I'm with ThomCat on this - drive all the way. Thank god I was never an AP (hyperventilates at the thought).

What about getting her a bike with a bike seat on? A lot quicker, just depends on roads/cycle paths

My ds's school is about 25 mins walk and I wouldn't be too keen on doing that 4 times a day (drive at the moment because am continuing on to work) but I think MY main issue would be that I would be thinking of all the laundry, hoovering etc. which I could be doing in that time. However, if I was an au-pair and coming home to (presumably) an empty house, bit of housework and some studying, I probably wouldn't mind. What I would hate more would be pushing the buggy up and down pavements and avoiding people! I remember being so relieved when ds2 was finally finished with his buggy - and that was way before the age of 4. Toddlers get to be blooming heavy in those things! Think your daughter might be the only one arriving in a buggy to school as well so she will probably not want to continue that for very long - peer pressure kicks in early! But that's prbably an issue for another day ...

I would love to live in Chelsea but live close to ThomCat in West London!! And they still wanted £90 a week!

Gosh you lot, my dh would love you at the moment (makes a change - normally moans about mumsnet!!) he is having to walk 25 minutes twice a day every day with 2 dds moaning every part of the way.

if the child cn walk d 25mins walk home surely she cn walk there ne back tell her to
look at it this way shell hve a fine pair of legs 4 summer

I wouldn't like to push a buggy across a heath though

I hope you've got one of those three wheeler all-terrain ones that won't get bogged down in the mud

I'd expect her to be able to walk. I'm "particularly lardy" but I can manage the 25 minute walk to school and back twice a day (four times sometimes, when dd has other activities after school).

It does sound as if she's trying it on to see what she can get out of you. Stick to your guns; you have every right to tell her what you expect of her, and she has every right to look for another job if she doesn't like the terms of yours.

Send her a pedometer and tell her to practice

We seem to forget the massive amounts of stamina we mums have accrued since embarking on parenthood. Before having kids we were lightweights and at the age of twenty the only thing I had stamina for was clubbing or shopping.

I think it's hugely unfair to ask someone to push a four year old in a buggy for 25 minutes four times every day come rain or shine.

What happens if the 4 year old does not want to go in the buggy? How much longer would it take if she walked?

I walk to school, it takes half hour, or if we go by bike its 15 mins. youre not asking too much, dont be silly.

Walking id much better for the environment than taking a car/bus/etc.

Is she a bit portly if you know what i mean/ is it a struggle? Its a bit of a moan really, I would just expalin that there is no other solution. If the kids are happy, then thats the main thing.

My charges love walking/biking, we only car it if its chucking it down, we walk in light drissle,smow,wind, you name it! its fun! you see so much walking and its great to chat on the way.

sO HANG ABOUT, CAN i GET AN AUPAIR FOR $65 A WEEK? REALLY. wAIT - EXPALIN TO ME PLS, THEY HAVE TO LIOVE WITH YOU RIGHT, AND HOW MANY HOURS DO YOU GET GFOR £65 AND WHAT DOI THEY DO. THINK i MIGHT LIKE ONE WHEN NO 3 COMES ALONG.

aNYWAY, BACK TO THREAD - HOW ABOUT abike?

Aggggg sorry for CAPS

I used to walk 25 mins to playgroup there and back

and then there and back to collect

ok when they were both in the double buggy but a PITA when they were not, stopping to look at every worm and flower etc

25 mins is not a long walk you lazy lumps!

You want her to walk for two hours a day, five days a week, pushing a big child in a buggy, in all weathers, and she gets £65 for the pleasure? I would run like hell if I were her, even if I was fit and healthy and enjoyed walking. If you want to keep her, do one of the school runs yourself in the car.

I don't have a problem with the au pair walking 25 minutes each way. I just don't think the 4 year old is going to like being in a buggy. And it is a long way to keep a 4 year old moving. I know...

I am a lazy git and wouldn;t do 25 min walk x4 however I would expect a spritely young au pair to do it.

Duh, young of today - don;t know they're born.

wow, this thread is moving quickly.

flyingmachine, my dd does not have mobility issues but is a dinky do - she still wears 2-3 years clothes. Her walking is erratic and I often end up carrying her at her insistence. Faster to just bundle her into a buggy. at your dd. I am hoping peer pressure will make my dd walk more.

binkle, agree. It is a vital part of the job spec, so I don't want to force her if walking is not her thing.

Agree, Mrs Recycle. Wise words indeed.

Redlorry, I am now leaning towards finding a new ap.

Thomcat/southeast/donnie, she works parttime 5 hours a weekday, 25 hours a week. This 2 hours is part of her working hours.

ViciousSS, not she is not, erm, generous proportioned.

AND I lost my baby weight in about 5 seconds so good exercise

tell her she will have rock hard thighs and a shapely arse

My dc tend to go on their bikes, which means I can walk at a reasonable pace. Is that a possibility?

Goodness me, 25 mins is nothing! I walk futher even now, but then I've never been a car owner. It's what you're used to I s'pose.
When I was an AP I had a 30 min walk 4x a day to and from 2 different schools, and a large chunk of that was up a steep hill. As I was always late I more often than not ran up that steep hill, but got a lovely pert bum as a result.
Maybe you should promote the buttock shaping anti cellulite aspect of it?

its cheaper than joining the gym! tell her its free fitnees!