Is my aupair being cheeky? Says it is hard for her to walk 25 min each way for school run.

[blueshoes]

My first aupair (French) is starting in Aug. But I am already having doubts.

An important part of the aupair's duties is to do my dd's school run. The school is a 25 min walk away, with dd age 4 in a buggy. Now the aupair emails to says that a 25x4 walk every day is hard for her to do.

She was asking about taking a bus and having a bus pass.

I emailed her to explain that a bus would take longer (35 min+), she would still have to walk 20 mins each way (because the school is not near the bus stop), and the roads are congested in the mornings. Plus it will cost us £20 a week in bus fare. She does not seem to have taken that in (language problem?).

Is she angling for us to provide her with a bus pass or contribute to her travel costs? Or does she have a point about such a long walk? I personally have done it (old-ish and weak as I am, lol) and don't see why a young strapping 20 year old cannot.

We are paying her £65 a week allowance - which I feel is slightly above market for what is IMO quite an easy job(London).

Do any of you who are aupair employers pay/subsidise transport costs on top of allowance? Should I ditch her before she starts, as being lame?

[pointydog]

So the au pair will spend four hours a day walking up and down the same bloody route with a 4 year old in tow?

Cripes. Wouldn't fancy that.

Can't your child have school dinners? Is that what you currently do, blueshoes?

[expatinscotland]

In the OP's case, though, it's a tube/bus situation.

[contentiouscat]

Would I have problems with walking 25 mins 4 x a day NO. Would I want to do it accross a heath in London with either a heavy 4 year old in a buggy or a sulky slow 4 year old walking HELL NO - not for £65 or £650

If you made it clear when you interviewed her then really she has no excuse though, perhaps she has other friends who are aupairs and are getting a better deal. Maybe you need to discuss it with her further before she starts as if she doesnt want to do it someone else will.

[MrsRecycle]

25 minutes x 4 = 1 hour 40 minutes!! NOT 4 hours. (Can you tell I'm accountant!!)

[expatinscotland]

Yeah, but it's flogging a dead horse here, because blueshoes' au pair has said she finds that too hard - for whatever reason! and how the hell do we know, maybe she is dyspraxic like my daughter, who looks 'normal' but has low muscle tone and tires easily. Blueshoes says that's a dealbreaker.

So deal broken.

Time to find a new au pair or spend the summer holidays getting the 4-year-old fit enough to walk it.

[MrsRecycle]

yes one that likes walking and gets car sick and is ugly

[meandmyflyingmachine]

Actually, my children need to be out for at least that length of time or they are unbearable. But they are moving. Not sitting.

[MrsRecycle]

Kerry - you obviously don't live in London, the weather's lovely here.

[pointydog]

Oh I see. Two trips a day, two hours in total then when you add on inevitable hold-ups.

Is the 4 year old in a buggy because she cannot manage that journey? If so, bit unreasonable.

But have you followed this routine successfully yoursefl, blueshoes?

[blueshoes]

Will try to keep up with the latest posts and answer questions:

Expat/minty/flyingmachine/mumpbump, dd is quite light, the size of a 2-3 yr old, and short legs to boot. She rarely walks long distances with us and will frequently ask to be carried - cue tantrum. I agree she needs to build stamina, but I don't think ap should be the one to do it - cue even more tantrums. I don't have enough time to tough dd up before she starts pre-school in Sept. So buggy for now. If she is embarassed about arriving in a buggy, I can review options, but I will cross that bridge when I get there.

Hula, dd is starting pre-school/nursery.

The fact is, the 25 min walk is not ideal - yes, even before this thread, I realised that. My plan is to move closer to the school. But I cannot do so for practical reasons until at least a year's time. This walk is temporary but has to be done for now.

Expat - it is Blackheath, SE London.

Louii, a heath is an area of green, that is not manicured like a park, nor wild like a woodland. Sort of in between.

Bookworm, on the safety issue, much of the heath is criss-crossed with cars and brightly lit with street lamps. She will mostly walk along the road. Only about 5 mins is along a dirt path on the heath.

[elliott]

I walk to work every day and it really hardly ever rains, even in winter.

[Hulababy]

I agree coppertop. IMO no difference: 30 minutes in car is probably preferable to 25 minutes walking in cold and rain to me TBH.

[bookwormmum]

Pointydog- surely the AP would drop the child off, 1 leg, go home, 2 legs, then repeat to collect OP's child, legs 3 & 4. If the OP's child was having home dinners, there wouldn't be enough time to get them there and back in an hour plus it would make it 8 journeys a day .

[Ladymuck]

I guess for me the big headache will be how long the 4yo will be in a buggy - cause unless she's got SN then she's going to want to be out of it within the year. Of course if the walk is do-able for dd then it should be do-able for the au pair.

[Twiglett]

its not a 25 min walk though is it

its a 25 min walk pushing probably around 40lb weight PLUS a 25 min walk back .. minimum twice a day .. in all weathers

that's 1 hour 50 minutes walking a day (with 50 minutes as resistance exercise

I think you're asking too much

[pointydog]

I do think, though, that you shouldn't ask an au pair to do something you would not do yourself.

If you have done this routine, then fine, look for an au pair who'll do it.

If you wouldn't do this every dau fopr a year, then don;t expect an au pair to.

[pointydog]

)yes, I got it wrong, bookworm. I thought the op was four complete trips involving dinner pick up and drop off)

[Ladymuck]

Sorry, X post. If it is just for nursery fro a year, then its is fair enough. We have a similar walk to ds2's preschool. That said as it is less than 5 minutes drive, I usually drive to save us the 1hr 20min per day.

[Twiglett]

Bloody hell I missed 4 times a day

and over Blackheath in the winter

no you're definitely asking too much IMHO

[Twiglett]

How about bicycles ? you could get your DD a trailgator to clip her bicycle to the adult one .. can she ride?

[expatinscotland]

Plenty of time to toughen up the DD for it.

Being in open space helps when they have the tandrum - it mitigates the noise somewhat.

My DD1 has special needs. Although she is quite tall with long legs, she has low muscle tone and tires very easily.

Sometimes we'll be out and she'll ask to be picked up and carried.

But I'm not physically able to do this for more than a few steps because of her height (I'm only a 15 inches taller than she is now) and because I have had many surgeries on my knee joints.

So it's either stop and take a break or she just has to tantrum.

It's baptism by fire, but what doesn't kill you makes you tougher.

[eleusis]

My nanny pushes a 2 year old and a 4 year to the bus a 15 minute walk away to do the school run every day. Okay, 15 is less than 25, but not that different. She has never complained.

I think you have found a poncy lazy au pair. I really would cosider backing out.

[expatinscotland]

the 4-year-old doesn't walk the 15 minutes?

I was feeling a little self-concious about DD1, because here I was thinking how she can't go very far without tiring because of the dyspraxia.

And here are all these NT 4-year-olds still being pushed around in buggies . . .