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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Can I go for my scan without telling my boss I'm pregnant...

45 replies

NannyGR · 02/10/2016 18:11

Hi all im a nanny for 3 children (2 families) I've just found out in pregnant after a long 4 years of trying. Will I have to tell my bosses about my scan in order to get the time off?? I don't really want to take the children with me and plus one mb works at said hospital. Is there a way around this or will I just have to man up and tell her a couple of weeks before??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

StealthPolarBear · 02/10/2016 18:13

You could just say you have a hospital appointment and ask for time off

StealthPolarBear · 02/10/2016 18:14

Congratulations :o
(Where are my manners?)

Threebedsemii · 02/10/2016 18:15

Congratulations! And of course not, book hospital appointment off or call in sick.

Cakescakescakes · 02/10/2016 18:16

I would say I had a 'routine medical appointment'. 'Hospital appointment' always makes me think pregnancy but somehow 'medical appointment' in my head covers more things. And routine so she knows you don't have a serious illness etc.

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge · 02/10/2016 18:16

I would ask to book a day's holiday (I know you shouldn't need to use holiday but it's a way round telling just yet) or say you have medical appointment and ask for time off.

Congratulations

wobblywonderwoman · 02/10/2016 18:18

Don't tell them. Just call in dick that day. I told mine and they were very unprofessional and it became gossip.

wobblywonderwoman · 02/10/2016 18:19

Sick

Apologises

Original poster

NannyGR · 02/10/2016 18:19

It's awkward as I got signed off the hospital for my infertility issues in early August... then ironically went on holiday and proved all the doctors wrong. My boss knows I don't have to go back for appointments now and any Dr app they always say there happy for me to take the kids too. I just feel so bad lying to her as she has a really important job and struggles to get the time off! May just have to tell her before hand

OP posts:

Original poster

NannyGR · 02/10/2016 18:21

I have no holiday left and would feel so bad calling in sick as I know how important her job is! I just don't want to jinx it by telling her before my scan...

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 02/10/2016 18:23

I wouldn't call in sick-it's a routine thing that you know about now. You need to give your boss time to organise alternative provision. I agree, describing it as a routine medical appointment that can be changed is the best way to go.

PamBagnallsGotACollage · 02/10/2016 18:24

They seem like nice employers but being happy for you take kids to appointments is a bit unfair. You're entitled to privacy in a doctor's appointment. Could you tell her you have a doctors appt but dont want the children to go?

wobblywonderwoman · 02/10/2016 18:25

I think its a bit much to expect to take the children along for a private appointment.

StealthPolarBear · 02/10/2016 18:37

Is there a specific reason you don't want to tell them? They have responsibilities to you as a pregnant employee

Chinnygirl · 02/10/2016 18:45

Just tell her you have a dentist appointment or physiotherapy or something.

Original poster

NannyGR · 02/10/2016 18:46

No, no reason particularly just would rather have the scan first and make sure everything is okay before I mention anything. I know they'll be really happy for me as they know everything I've been through, and they know we were going through infertility investigations as I told them it all before I accepted the job. I just don't want to jinx things haha

OP posts:

nannynick · 02/10/2016 18:47

Can you request alternative date/time for appointment - not easy I know but sometimes a different day may be offered - would that help or not?

Do you have any nanny or childminder friends who you meet up with quite often and thus know the children, may even know your boss, so you could suggest a solution to the childcare problem. You are presenting your boss with a problem (you need some time off) and if you can present a solution at the same time which boss might agree to, then your boss may be happy for you to have the time off without asking too many questions.

You do need to tell your boss the reason at some point... once you get the MAT B1 form (around 20 weeks) would be a typical time to tell them you are pregnant. However if pregnancy affects your ability to do the job, thus you need some minor changes to the job to help you cope better, then you may need to tell them sooner.

Karoleann · 02/10/2016 18:50

No don't call in sick, it'll be much easier for her to sort out cover in advance rather than on the day.

Just say its a gyne appointment and that its not suitable for the children to be at and you'd be happy to take the half day unpaid.

PS Congratulations too - you must be very excited.

Original poster

NannyGR · 02/10/2016 18:51

I'm happy to tell then once I know myself everything is OK! I'll have to check when they can do the scans as I work long days mon-fri although asking a nanny friend to help out may be a good idea, thanks nannynick! I don't want to lie to her and then accidently bump into her at the hospital as I would feel so so bad! I guess I'll wait and see when my appointment is and work out a plan then. Thanks for all the great advice so far everyone!!

OP posts:

NameChange30 · 02/10/2016 18:58

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

You are legally entitled to paid time off for antenatal appointments. But you also don't have a legal obligation to tell your employer you're pregnant until about 24 weeks.

I suggest that you tell your boss you have a medical appointment (I always say medical appointment because it's suitably vague!)

Booking the whole day off is unnecessary (and a waste of a day's annual leave) and calling in sick would be unfair on your employer, IMO. Plus she will work it out when you eventually tell her about the pregnancy.

FWIW I told my boss about my pregnancy after the 12 week scan.

RavioliOnToast · 02/10/2016 19:02

Can you not tell them it's a smear test, that's why you'd rather not take the kids with you? Congratulations!

NameChange30 · 02/10/2016 19:02

Oh and you will have your first midwife appointment (called the booking in appointment) at about 8 weeks, so you'll need to book time off for that as well.

For me it was just the standard appointments: midwife at 8 weeks and then the 12 week scan, but you may have extra scans or appointments if needed. Just FYI!

NameChange30 · 02/10/2016 19:08

I think it's cheeky of your boss to expect you to take the children to medical appointments, btw. You're entitled to your privacy and should be allowed to go to appointments without her children in tow! Whatever the reason for the appointment.

Her job may be important but that's her problem, she will just have to organise alternative childcare or take the time off. Although if you could make any suggestions for alternative childcare, I'm sure she'd appreciate it.

StealthPolarBear · 02/10/2016 19:25

Erm in fairness that's why they have a nanny. I do agree the op should be able to go to a reasonable amount of medical appointments without question (not pregnancy related, in general) but I do think the boss can expect minimal disruption and cooperation from the op. I do not thibk employees in general can swan on and say I have a medical appointment regularly, and expect to have no questions asked.

NameChange30 · 02/10/2016 20:56

"Swan in"?!
Right

StealthPolarBear · 02/10/2016 21:06

Ok extreme choice of words sorry. But saying the op can go to any and all medical appointments and if that causes the boss difficultly that is "her problem" is entitled and naive.
Just to reiterate - not talking about pregnancy here.

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