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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Can I go for my scan without telling my boss I'm pregnant...

45 replies

NannyGR · 02/10/2016 18:11

Hi all im a nanny for 3 children (2 families) I've just found out in pregnant after a long 4 years of trying. Will I have to tell my bosses about my scan in order to get the time off?? I don't really want to take the children with me and plus one mb works at said hospital. Is there a way around this or will I just have to man up and tell her a couple of weeks before??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NameChange30 · 02/10/2016 21:16

Oh FFS.
Putting words in my mouth.
I didn't say that she can go to "any and all" medical appointments.
I said that she is legally entitled to paid time off to attend antenatal appointments.
Which is fucking true.
I also said that her employer is cheeky to expect her to take the children to every medical appointment.
Which is also true and is not "entitled and naive"

When employees are sick, covering their work is the employer's problem. As for essential medical appointments, provided employees aren't taking the piss (which the OP clearly isn't), the same principle applies.

StealthPolarBear · 02/10/2016 21:19

Ok it was "whatever the reason" that made me think that. The person requesting time off for medical apps (not pregnancy related which is what we were talking about) does not pull all the strings and cannot say "your problem" to their employer.
Or I certainly couldn't where I work anyway.

Femp2012 · 02/10/2016 21:22

Our local hospitals do weekend scans, so maybe yours may too? My husband couldn't get time off last pregnancy, as he had just started a new job so moved it to a Sunday morning :)

NameChange30 · 02/10/2016 22:11

Stealth
You clearly didn't read my post properly, I didn't say she was entitled to time off for an appointment whatever the reason, and I didn't say it was her employer's problem whatever the reason. I said that she is entitled to privacy in her medical appointments (ie to attend without someone else's children) whatever the reason, whether it's an antenatal appointment, a smear test or something completely unrelated to gynae issues that is not "embarrassing" or inappropriate for children to be present - it's her health and is therefore none of their business. The OP may be comfortable taking them to medical appointments, depending what the appointment is for, but her employer shouldn't assume she will take them every time.

LotisBlue · 02/10/2016 22:17

Congratulations

If your employer is supportive and knows you are TTC then I would just tell her. It would make life simpler and she may be more sympathetic if you are having an off day due to morning sickness etc.

Otherwise then you could tell her you have your smear test, she can't expect you to take the children along to that

Original poster

NannyGR · 03/10/2016 07:59

Thanks for all the helpful replies. I really don't want to paint my boss as a bad person because she really is far from it!! Whenever I've had hospital appointment I've always arranged it as late as possible and she has come home early or I take the kids and she looks after them whilst I'm in my app! (As it's the same hosp) think I'm just gonna try get an evening/weekend scan if poss.... if not tell her I have a gyno appointment, I may be able to get one of my lovely nannies friends to help out. And if all else fails I shall just tell her... thanks for all your useful ideas and help and well wishes!!

OP posts:

TheClacksAreDown · 03/10/2016 08:04

You might not want to go this but if you really can't stomach the alternatives you could have a private scan at the weekend

itlypocerka · 03/10/2016 08:48

As Clacks says above, if you can afford it book a private weekend scan a little before the real one (say at 10 weeks assuming the NHS one will be at 12 weeks) - then you won't be in this position of not wanting to talk about it yet and you can then be honest about everything after that.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 03/10/2016 10:55

Tell her it's an appointment that you cant take the children to. If she sees you / asks, tell her you are not in a position to talk about the details right now. She will guess but she will also realise that you don't want to talk about it.

PonderingLikeAPond · 03/10/2016 10:59

Id say it was a smear. A second one due to abnormal results hence the random time and day and not being able to move it.

PurpleDaisies · 03/10/2016 11:06

And what happens when the op announces she's pregnant pondering? The boss will figure out she's been lied to. Much better to say a personal immovable medical appointment and not give any details.

PonderingLikeAPond · 03/10/2016 11:51

Lying about a scan before you even know what the outcome will be is understandable surely.

PurpleDaisies · 03/10/2016 12:06

I'm not saying the op needs to say she's going for a scan-I just don't think inventing a reason to be off it on. What happens if the boss has had a series of dodgy smears and tries to talk to the op about it? What happens if someone sees the op in the scan waiting area? There's just no need to lie. A personal medical appointment that can't be changed is all the detail she needs to give.

MissMooMoo · 03/10/2016 14:58

Congratulations!!! I am also a newly pregnant nanny (7 weeks atm)
I am just going to ask for the morning/afternoon off for my scan as I really only want DH and I there.
Do you work 5 days a week? I only work 4 so have tried to schedule my booking in appt on my day off.

user1471134011 · 05/10/2016 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/10/2016 12:47

Congrats. Rem reading your other posts

Assume you must be 6w or so if just found out

Totally understandable why you don't want to tell work family till you know all is ok

I'm 15w tomorrow and have had 4 scans so far due to ivf /older mum

All were private and on time apart from 12w nhs one. That was running an hour late - be warned

If she is happy for you to take children then try and get a friend to go with you who can sit in waiting room once called

NameChange30 · 05/10/2016 13:41

Why should she have to take the children with her at all?

It's not appropriate for a nanny to take her employer's children to an antenatal scan, even if they stay in the waiting room. Some people don't even take their own children to these things!

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/10/2016 14:57

It's either take them and not have to tell mb about the scan

Mention an appointment and they possibly ask

Can they work from home that day?

Or book a private one at time easier for yourself

So much harder when working 5 days a week

NameChange30 · 05/10/2016 17:37

"I have an essential medical appointment and unfortunately it's not appropriate for me to take the children. Are you able to look after them while I attend my appointment, or would you like me to ask my nanny friend if she can help that day?"

And if employer asks what it's for:

"I'd prefer not to say, I hope you don't mind" - then change subject

It's not hard, is it?!

There's no reason whatsoever that the OP should feel obliged to pay for a private scan - by all means have an extra scan if you can afford it, but she has a right to attend the NHS scan.

I don't see the big deal tbh, I'm sure the employer will agree to time off for a medical appointment - it sounds like she's been very reasonable in the past. If she asks what it's for, the OP has every right to tell her or not, as she prefers.

fashionqueen1183 · 19/10/2016 18:38

Just tell her. If anything goes wrong you'll have to tell her that anyway, so if you know she'll be happy for you, don't lie just say whats going on! :)

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