Hi everyone,
I'm a 20 year old English girl who has just started working as an au pair in France. I'm absolutely miserable and already desperate to go home. I started last Tuesday. I get paid €80-€100 a week, depending on 'how well I do' for around 35 hours, although I would say I've already done more than that. The father told me how much I 'get right' determines how much I get paid. If I do something wrong, I get paid less. I get given a car so I can take the kids out to places. I am supposed to have 2 days off a week when the mother is off from work.. although today, one of the kids is sick (on the mum's day off, therefore supposed to be my day off too) and she's left me at home with a very sick kid and has gone out to meet her friends. She's taken my car so I can't go out, and won't be back til late evening.
So much has happened and come to light in the past week and I feel very torn about whether to go home or not. Deep down I know I am unhappy and won't last (I'm meant to be here for 4 months) but I'm so shy that I don't feel I can approach the parents, especially as they have been quite kind in some ways.
On the first day I arrived, everything was fine, I just followed the mum around and met the people around them. We had a chat about what I had to do, and that was fine. In the evening, she went out so I was left alone with the dad and the kids. He basically gave me a lecture on how important it was that I make a good impression on the first day and in the first week, which only added to the pressure. The younger of the kids, the boy, is very full of energy and sometimes plays up (although not when I'm around). That day, he did something a bit stupid and I was expected to discipline him. They told me about one of their other au pairs who wasn't that great in their eyes because she wouldn't tell him off. I don't feel comfortable shouting at other people's kids but it's what they seem to expect.
The next day, we went to all the kids' activities, and it came out that I was expected to drive them to their activities, which was never mentioned. I understood I would have to do some driving, but not entirely take over the parents' duties. I was expected to remember my way around after one drive. I also found out I'm expected to drive the kids' friends to the activities as well, which was again never mentioned. At the end of the day I sort of had a breakdown because she wrote up a 'planning' for the next week, and I found out I will have to cook for them which I was promised I wouldn't have to do, but I actually wouldn't have minded had they been honest about that straight up.
They have a camp site at which they spend the summer. I was told we wouldn't be going there until July, but I got told when I arrived that we are supposed to go there every weekend. In their emails, they promised me an all equipped caravan so I could have my own space. At the weekend, we went there and they had left the electricity and water disconnected, and I can't use the toilet or shower because they're broken. They lock the house at night so I can't go in, so I can't go to the toilet if I need to. I had no heating so I was really cold. Friday was supposed to be one of my days off too, but one of the kids (the one that's off today) went home sick from school and I was expected to drop everything and go to the camp site.
I was promised a smart phone so that we could keep in touch easily, and so I could keep in touch with my friends because the area I'm in is very isolated. They lied about this, then my actual phone didn't work because they couldn't be bothered to find the charger so I've been having to use my English phone. It's only today when V is sick again that they bothered to find the charger.
I have had next to no free time because of all the chores I'm expected to do, I haven't even been able to explore the area in the time I've been here. They leave the house in a tip in the morning so I spend most of my day cleaning, then I have to go and get the kids from school and do all my evening chores and jobs. Even on my days off so far I have just been cleaning. I was supposed to be off yesterday and today but have spent both days looking after the kids. I completed all the housework the other day, they came home and moaned at me because the cat was still in the house.
In the summer, it's only going to get worse as the parents don't have any time off so I will be working 7 days a week without any free time. I get a few weeks off while the kids go away to their grandparents', but I already feel so exhausted and unhappy. I don't know if I'm going to last that long.
Am I being unreasonable? Is it wrong of me to want to go home? I really don't want to let them down because they're a really nice family but I'm so unhappy and don't want to be here at all.