OK for CM to moan on FB about what a drag her job is....

[NumptyNu]

Hi all, not sure if I'm being unreasonable here, but I can't help feeling really upset when I see CM posting on FB about how she can't wait for the week to end, when she is looking after my children.

The children are well-behaved, and we hand over an awful lot of money each month (there are three of them) in return for her services.

I therefore always get a shock when I see whinging and whining about it on FB. We have an otherwise happy arrangement. Should I speak to her about it? I'm worried this will fester if not. Or should I leave it, on the basis that we all get tired at work and it's fine to have a moan now and again? I don't want to come over all 'we pay your wages so be grateful about it', as that's not quite how I feel. It's more 'you're talking about my kids there, and it upsets me to hear you refer to your work like that'.

AIB over-sensitive? Or is this inappropriate behaviour by the CM?

Bloody hell, 2 grand a month!! The only reason I don't do childminding is that it doesn't pay (so I thought - 2 grand would do)! I thought nobody did it for the money, you have to love the kids and accept the pay is crap. Sounds like she has most people's ideal job (including yours OP)!

If she said 'I can't wait for the weekend' that's read quite differently to 'I can't wait for the week to end' - especially by the sensitive, but she may mean the same thing. I think I'd be tempted to message her referring to her status, and ask if she is happy or has any concerns she's like to raise. Hopefully she's talking about something else, or has a particularly fun weekend she's wishing the week away for.

Because I work for the NHS I have to be very careful what Ipost, as should she. But c'mon, who doesn't get bored at work and wish for the weekend to come

2 grand a month for 3 kids is standard in some areas.

Two in school and one under 5 would easily cost £400 a week at my CM, so £2k a month doesn't seem ridiculous to me. Just two under 5s would be £500.

Depends on the things she's writing really OP.
"Kids have been horrendous today, I hate sitting in the park for hours" - totally unacceptable imo.

"What a tough week, can't wait for the weekend" - acceptable but probably best not to have a customer read it.

"Yay it's Friday, looking forward to relaxing with my family" - absolutely fine.

But yeah, childcare can be boring, repetitive, isolating, tiring and physically and emotionally draining so plenty to moan about

I would be absolutely raging about this! Terrible behaviour from a friend and also unprofessional. I would definitely say something.

Raging about someone saying their job is hard work? Come off it.

could you give us a exact example?

:D

She pays her £2k a month! Can't get over how unprofessional this is!

I had a colleague who was the head of an office in a country he loathed. Yes, it was in an emerging market and tricky to get by there but he was constantly posting on FB about how much he hated it. I felt like asking him: are you asking to be sacked/about to resign?? I did tell him people had been talking about it.

I am not friends with any clients on FB but lots of colleagues and I would never, ever post anything negative about work. Too busy posting cat photos!

I can see it's trickier for you because you were friends beforehand.

Unless you tell us more what she said I think it's difficult to know whether you're being oversensitive.

Do you get any sense otherwise that she may be finding the arrangement too much?

As a childminder, I would NEVER talk about work in a derogatory way.
It's highly unprofessional and I really think you ought to talk to her about it.
If you can read it, others are also reading it.

This is why I never have employers on my fb - Un friend her

Unless said kids are horrible etc / then try and not it worry you

Many post about having a bad day at work on fb so kinda normal - tho obv make sure no one is on your fb from work

Plus depending on what's hours she does - uou could probably get a nanny for £2k a month as they charge per hr per family rather then per child

Tho if a 60hr week then won't be

It sounds like she's done it in an unprofessional way.

I've seen CMs moaning about the hours they've spent on paperwork and cleaning and repairing broken toys, but that's different. I wouldn't do that, because I think if a parent looked at my profile and saw any indication I wasn't enjoying my work, they might get worried that I'd quit.

Any complaints about the children is definitely not on.

I'm Facebook friends with various colleagues, including people in HR and my boss (and higher) because living abroad we've found the social life and work life get very intertwined. Consequently, I post nothing on Facebook about work, it's frustrating when I see others commenting on the current nightmare that is our office but I PM them or text. I've also had to rapidly message people I've seen posting stuff that could have landed them in a lot of trouble and suggest they take it down ASAP.
I think you and the CM need to either not be friends on FB or if you are genuinely friends, tell her that you know you are being over-sensitive but... and then explain your feelings and hope that she modifies her posts accordingly.

2k a month is £33 per day. Pretty standard even up here on the north