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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

mum brought baby but no milk

121 replies

amphion · 24/10/2006 20:08

Had a trial morning with a 5 month old baby - from 9.30 to 12.
All went well except his mum brought him 'breakfast' - pureed fruit, and water from a trainer beaker to drink, which I did manage to get him to eat but he did seem like he really wanted a bottle but hey ho I did what mum wanted. (He had had a bottle already earlier in the morning.) When mum picked him up I asked if she would be giving him some milk at next feed but she said no, he would have 'lunch'. Oh dear, I'm a bit worried now she's going to keep me short of milk for him - afterall he's still a small baby - isn't he? Any advice?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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sallyrosie · 24/10/2006 20:17

sounds a bit odd - surely at 5 months should be getting majority of calories from milk and 'food' if given should just be 'tastes'?

AlfredAitchcock · 24/10/2006 20:20

that does sound weird. perhaps you should ask her to write you out a timetable of his eating. what you do next is more difficult... what can you possibly do if she's feeding him too much and not giving him enough milk? (sneak him a bottle? but then you'll have to pay for it... and wouldn't that be out of order anyway?)

tricky, really tricky...

Boowila · 24/10/2006 20:36

You could ask her to bring you a tin of powdered formula, and add that once he's on cow's milk you can provide that (assuming you normally provide that for older ones).

Maybe she gives bottles between meals rather than with the meal? I used to do this with DS because I found if milk was offered he didn't want the food. So he'd get a bottle, then breakfast, then bottle, then lunch, then bottle, then dinner, then bottle at bed. And that's still 5 bottle a day... Although he was older than 5 months when I did this.

Original poster

amphion · 24/10/2006 21:23

oh dear, oh dear - and everything was going so well. Thank you all for your advice. He starts on Wednesday so I think what I'll do is e-mail the parents and ask if they can write down the feed times in the notebook I've already provided and also if they can put in an extra bottle 'while he's settling in' which can be returned if not used. I don't usually make up feeds myself but I'll keep this in mind cos it would give me more leeway. Yes, I've thought about buying some of those ready-made-up cartons and a bottle - I'd have to know the make of formula, and of course it would be unethical so will not go down that route... unless desperate !

OP posts:

hairymclary · 24/10/2006 21:29

my ds used to go that length of time between feeds at that age.
I wouldn't even consider giving him a bottle without his mother's consent, and if someone gave my child formula without asking me i'd be horrified.

she has a routine for him, what's the problem?

Original poster

amphion · 24/10/2006 21:29

p.s. I meant he starts next Wednesday, not tomorrow

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 24/10/2006 21:32

Hmm, I know it's too early to wean but it's not uncommon. I think if you're not happy to care for him in the way his mother wants, the honest thing to do would be to tell her you can't have him at all, and tell her why.

I would be livid if someone gave my child formula without consulting me. And I don't think it was your place to ask her what she would be giving him after she picked him up from you, either. Sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear.

hunkermunker · 24/10/2006 21:33

Is he breastfed?

hunkermunker · 24/10/2006 21:34

Too much food for such a little baby IMO - but hard for you to interfere.

hunkermunker · 24/10/2006 21:34

Heavens, I'm no help, am I?!

Original poster

amphion · 24/10/2006 21:41

hairymaclary, as I said I wouldn't give him a bottle myself - if parents give you the milk powder and permission for you to decide then that's different. The problem is, for one, that as a parent and if the feeding is not working out that day at least you know you've got the back-up of milk if you need it, but as a childminder the thought of looking after a small baby with no milk is to me quite frightening. Also, I could tell that this baby wanted milk by the way he was 'sucking' the food and getting all keen about the water. Well, I will try to liase as best I can with the mum.

OP posts:

eenybeeny · 24/10/2006 21:43

He may have an allergy you dont know about. I wouldnt give him formula without his mothers consent. Just try to ask her about it in a nonchalant sort of way.

Original poster

amphion · 24/10/2006 21:45

Greensleaves - it wasn't an inquisition, it was just part of the general conversation about how much he'd slept etc., and getting to know his routine.

OP posts:

FillyjonkthePumpkinEater · 24/10/2006 21:48

no I think you do need to know some background here

you are looking after him and you think he wants milk. his pat
rents need to know this. they dont need to act on it but they need to know it.

also, if he has an allergy, you need to know this also.

dont give formula though.

HappyMumof2 · 24/10/2006 21:52

Message withdrawn

Original poster

amphion · 24/10/2006 21:52

thank you fillyjonk - that seems very sensible.

BTW I asked about allergies when filling in the contract and child details forms and nothing was mentioned to meor written in the places provided for this info.

OP posts:

Original poster

amphion · 24/10/2006 21:54

... and thank you too happymum

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Greensleeves · 24/10/2006 21:57

HappyMumof2, you're a childminder, not a healthcare professional. I doubt very much that the parents of your mindees want or need your "guidance". Your arrogance is truly astounding.

HappyMumof2 · 24/10/2006 21:59

Message withdrawn

Greensleeves · 24/10/2006 22:03

Well, they're both subjective terms, so it's unsurprising that you wouldn't apply them to yourself. But then, I'm not the one suggesting that childminders offer "guidance" which they are completely unqualified to dispense.

Irresponsible, as well as arrogant.

HappyMumof2 · 24/10/2006 22:03

Message withdrawn

Greensleeves · 24/10/2006 22:04

Eloquently put.

WelshBoris · 24/10/2006 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HappyMumof2 · 24/10/2006 22:06

Message withdrawn

sorrell · 24/10/2006 22:06

Oh, that was an unexpectedly rude post! I would think it was a childminder's DUTY to ask about a child's routine, possible allergies, appetite and eating and to offer their opinion and feedback too. They are not slaves or minions, they are self-employed, experienced professionals and amphion is quite right to be concerned if a five month old baby to whom she is going to 'mother' all day is not getting any milk when in her professional opinion (backed up by all medical advice I've ever read), he is desperate for some.

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