AIBU - Au Pair

[Ralphsmummy]

Am I being unreasonble?

We have an au pair. We have just had a bit of a calamity - husband in a serious bike crash last night - broken arm and ribs. Unusually, I have to go away for the weekend for a family wedding five hours away - I'm planning to take the two big kids with me, but leaving the 2.5 year old.

Au pair is basically refusing to help him out over the weekend. I appreciate its her days off, but to be honest its an emergency, and she stays in her room all day anyway (then goes out at night and gets back in at 6am, but thats another story). I'd be happy to pay more.

Is it me, or her?!

I've only read the first page - and I'm perhaps a maverick here - but we have a nanny and I would be pretty upset if she lived in and refused to give limited help in an emergency. We bend over backwards to accommodate the unexpected in her life and I would expect the same. I'm really shocked that everyone else thinks it's perfectly ok for her to say, "Too bad. Tough shit. I'm not your slave. Don't knock on my door until Monday. "

I would be reconsidering the employment relationship completely, to be honest.

op hasnt come back and updated anymore how her relationship is with ap, but i feel that yes nannies/ap should help out, and especially in an emergency

but

a wedding isnt an emergency, and if nanny/ap had plans, then why are hers less important should she cancel them for what is a wedding, ie not essential

esp as tbh op could have taken her children with her and cope as single normal parents do

Seems like you've an ap who doesn't have much empathy for the family. It's far better when there's a mutually helpful and respectful, understanding relationship. Not a lot that you can do but ... I'd take note and beware as detached aps like her don't last and are g loyal. IME.

And I wish your DH better. I broke two ribs last year and it was painful to even breathe. He'll prob be on strong painkillers - another reason why he'll need some help.

I'm shocked by the number of people who think that an au pair should be grateful to the host family and give up her free time. Looking after another person's three small children sounds exhausting and a tremendous responsability. If I were the mother, I would be the one who was grateful every day

I'm shocked someone can resurrect a zombie thread just to have a go at someone.

She is being unhelpful. Of course she should try to cover if she can. Isn't that what we all do when our employers are in a fix, assuming they are decent people who treat us fairly the rest of the time?

Get rid of her. I wouldn't want to share my home with someone who couldn't pitch in in an emergency. Sounds like a brat.