Poorly child

[ifmamaainthappy]

Child is 14 months, has a cold, just generally not happy, contacted Mom to let her know, that she's not herself, Mom has told me she's got to much to do to collect her at the moment??? What do you do??? i can't just sit cuddling all day, have others to look after, ( i'm having a late lunch and 5 minutes right now!!)

....and if for some work reason you couldn't collect straight away, would you expect your childminder to understand that?

If I phoned my charges parents and told them they needed to collect they would also come home asap. The difference is, I wouldn't do that if one of them had a cold (even an achey, thick head cold).

Outraged do you even HAVE children? If you do surely you've had a call from school asking you to collect immediately? Children who are as sick as the OP describes do not belong in care with another person and other children. Regardless of the parent's job!

Parent's who work usually have emergency adults who can collect in their stead.

Neo I don't consider the symptoms the OP describes as emergency pick-up symptoms. I've been asked to pick up immediately, but it wasn't for a cold.

Children who are as sick as the OP describes do not belong in care with another person and other children

This

The child has not stopped crying and is not eating. Those are not minor symptoms like a runny nose...non stop crying indicates pain and the child needs to see a doctor.

Have you/ did you give the child some medicine? Calpol or kids neurophen? Its obv not ideal and if my cm had rung to say dd (at that age) was crying and not well I would of course gotton out of work asap and collected her. That said I would have expected the cm to of given some medicine first to see if that helped.

The child is 14 months old. They have days where they don't eat much and grizzle all day!

If the child is screaming in pain rather than doing the teething/cold grizzle, then I agree that a parent should come home and the OP should call NHS direct or if the parent cannot get there quickly take her to A&E.

The fact that the OP is posting on mumsnet about her annoyance at the mother suggests the child is not screaming in pain.

Op YANBU.

I'm not a childminder but I do have a child who attends nursery and if they rang me to say she was illdI'd trust their judgement.

Btw. Dh and I tag team to cover illnesses picked up from childcare. If less parents sent their child in then dh and I wouldn't have taken so much damn leave already

but it's not the childminders decision to make as you whether it's even a cold - what if there was something more serious going on and the childminder didn't ask the parent to collect? a child should not be in someone else's care when ill - say the child suddenly took a turn for the worse - the childminder is then negligent in her care, who's responsibility is it? responsibility for a sick child should always be with the parent.

Asking a cm to give calpol is also not good. Schools don't give it. Many cms won't to cover their own backs as much as anything - we are open to all sorts of allegations if anything goes wrong - i do give calpol as a last resort if a temp is very high if i have written permission but i would not give it for a cold - if a child needs pain relief, that child should not be with me.

it is totally unfair on a child and on the childminder for a parent not to make arrangements to collect. even if the parent is in a high powered job which makes it difficult to get away - there are sometimes two parents and other family members/friends who could collect. saying i can't come and collect is simply not good enough.
Fwiw, outraged - none of my parents have or ever have had jobs where they can't get away - most of them work from home and a few don't even work at all.... but i still have at times waited up to 2 hours for a sick child to be collected in the mean time myself, my own dc and any other mindees in the house have been exposed to whatever the ill one has... very unfair.

You're right Reet how does the OP (or the parent) know that it's just a cold? The OP did the right thing and the parent now has to take responsibility.

So now parents should be called whenever a child has a cold, because what if it isn't a cold?! Really alldirections? Really? Whenever a child has a cold, incase it isn't a cold? Should we take them to the doctors everytime they have cold, incase it isn't a cold?

don't be so silly outraged no one is suggesting that - but the child sounds quite ill. i think we all know what a common cold looks like but this child has been unwell all day, very grizzly and has had dry nappies.
just a thought, and god forbid, but there are other infections that can display those kinds of symptoms and it is not the cms decision to make as to whether the child requires medical attention. the parent should collect the child when asked or make appropriate arrangements for someone else to.

There is a big difference between a grizzly child and one who is feeling really poorly. Even if the parent is a cardiac surgeon, mid heart transplant, there should be some procedures in place in the event of a child taking ill while in the care of a childcare provider where the provider's policy states that the provider will not be able to provide care for a child who is ill. In cases where a parent is not prepared to accept such a policy, then the parent should seek alternate forms of childcare.

This isn't just a cold though is it? The child is ill.

Are you the child's mother Outraged?

'In cases where a parent is not prepared to accept such a policy, then the parent should seek alternate forms of childcare. '

Absolutely agree with that. I don't know what the OP's policy states, I think someone did ask up thread, but she hasn't answered yet. I agree if the parent agreed to pick-up when the child has a cold, they should do so.

I am suprised by the views on this thread. I am suprised by the massive difference between childminders and nannies on this issue. There was a thread yesterday about nannies looking after sick children and the general view was, if they're not sick enough to be in hospital, then the nanny is OK to look after them.

I knew childminders had to exclude for things like D&V, but I didn't know that they would require a parent to return immediately from work for a cold/lack of appetite/minor temperature etc.

I think the stuff about 'what if it isn't a cold' etc is hogwash quite honestly. Unless the child's parent is a doctor, medically speaking, there is no reason they would be better off with a parent than a first-aid trained childcare professional. If the child takes a turn for the worse, call an ambulance, they won't come slower because you're a childminder. Chances are though, that it is a cold or teething and that they won't 'take a turn for the worse'.

I guess the conclusion is, if you need someone to look after your child when they're sick, don't use a childminder. Fair enough. Anything that makes the expense of a nanny seem worth it, is good in my book.

AllDirections No I'm not the child's mother

It sounds like a cold or teething to me, but I'm not a doctor.

I do think there's a big difference between using a childminder or a nanny. The expectations are quite different. When a child is sick is they should be at home and having other children to look after at the same time is different depending on whether they are siblings or not. I see a nanny as a replacement parent but a childminder as a childcarer. I wish I could afford a nanny!

I have used 2 childminders in the last 7 yrs to kook after my dd and they have both been happy to give calpol if she needed it, I have only ever been called by one of them once when dd was very poorly and of course I collected her more or less straight away.

I do have some sympathy with the parent in the op post, I am a nurse and a single parent and if I leave work I would have to find cover for my patients as I can't just leave them.

Ok seeing this from both points of view, agree with outraged that cm may well be better equipped to identify whether a child is really ill or just has cold, but tbh when most kids are under the weather, they need their mums (or dads). I had similar situation last week, mindee was poorly and hangy, not really ill, but just not himself. I texted his mum when he became inconsolable and we agreed to try Calpol (which she had supplied, consent forms in place etc as cm can't just give meds to children without parental consent!). He rallied a bit then dipped later so then mum came to collect. In the time in between she phoned a couple of times to check on him and I txt her regular updates. It's called working in partnership with parents and using common sense. Here endeth the bun fight - first time I've actually tried to kill a thread!

I thought we'd killed it earlier when the OP and I agreed to disgaree, but apparently not!!

My childminder has phoned a few times to check about giving my DD calpol. It's either been just to tide her over till I got there or to see if she would improve enough to stay there. My childminder was always understanding if I couldn't get there straight away but if she had insisted then I would have left work immediately, but then I have a job where no-one will die if I leave, there just might be complaints which could lead to sanctions which could lead to loss of future contracts, etc. but I have to be a parent first and foremost.

I used a CM (and still do use her during the holidays) exclusively from when dd was 5 months to 2.5 years and would have been shocked if she had called me to collect dd because she had a cold. Children get colds all the time. I agree that vomiting and a high temperature mean that the child should be collected, but not for a cold. Dd would never have been with the cm if that was the case.

I wouldn't keep a child off of school for a cold, I wouldn't stay off of work either and on the flip side of this, our cm would never tell us she couldn't take dd if she had a cold herself.

I think the problem is that this kind of thing is very subjective -there's a thread on AIBU about school absence and there's a real divide in opinion on when a child is too ill to go to school.

I have permission to give calpol/nurofen if needed and would always try that option first. I would also ring and confer with the parent with something like this - ask them whether there was anything else they could think of that would normally comfort them. I would battle on with whinging/out of sorts children with colds...this child sounds worse than that though; non-stop crying and not eating or drinking in a child who is normally happy. I'd expect a parent to pick up - I'd expect them to feel they HAD to pick up without having it spelt out to be honest.

i asked earlier what the op's policy was for colds/under weather

she didnt reply

unless says in policy to collect your child if above then the cm needs to look after the child

by all means call the parents but sure in 99% cases they will say they are at work/in a meeting and cant leave now

totally different if sick or have a raging temp - but for a miserable child who has a cold and probably teething as well then the cm needs to look after them and not be annoyed if they call parents and they say they cant come and collect

this is why parents pay for childcare

What fives said. I use a nursery, not a CM, but they do a similar thing. They have clear exclusion policies (D&V, certain illnesses, fever unresolved after one dose of Calpol administered with parental permission).

They are also really clear about what they want me to do in any situation. Once, at around 15 mths, DS's lovely key person called me to say he wasn't really himself, teary and clingy and off his food. They were very clear that they didn't expect me to come and get him, that they were administering cuddles and stories and she would keep me in the loop. Which she did. I then left work early but not doing the classic dash-to-collect-ill-child. It was a really good example of how the partnership can work effectively.

From the OP, I'm not clear whether she actually asked the mother to collect, or just expected the mother to respond to the news that the child had a cold with an announcement that she'd drop everything and come home.