The Curse of Boff strikes again - this nanny has decided after a fortnight in post that petrol is too expensive

[BoffinMum]

New nanny started two weeks ago, all going well, but then she resigns out of the blue.

This time, the cost of petrol and her 50 mile commute is blamed. She said she hadn't thought about that before taking the job.

I had a 'WTF???' moment as she was specifically asked about this at interview and by the agency.

Agency is being super and they are cross with her for messing us about, and they think she is being wimpy. So do I. She works 47.5 hours a week, so it's not as though her hours are mental for a nanny, either.

[cross]

Redglow, my thoughts exactly. My current one will be leaving tomorrow after 4 weeks, and I have tried to explain this to DC4, who has been having his hair stroked daily by her while he has his afternoon nap. He doesn't believe me and will no doubt be bereft when he realises she has dumped him and the job. Poor lamb.

Not getting any better then.... Sorry

how old are your kids now Boffin?

I realised today that I have about 13 months left of childcare. 13 months till both kids are in secondary school.

I could weep with the thought of the impact on my salary lol

Some nannies do have good reason to leave jobs. Nannies jobs are not as secure as they used to be.

Your poor dc Boffin hope you find a nice new nanny that will stay.

Youngest is 3, fox. I have just worked out that I will have had young children (i.e. primary school age or below) for 33 years of my adult life by the time the youngest is in secondary school. How the hell did that happen?

But DC4 has just come up to me with his snotty nose and told me "You have luffly kids, mummy" and grinned. That may be why!

Just to clear this up, I think from an employer's point of view that if all the jobs are more or less similar, then the duration is less important if there's a verifiable reason for departure, such as the parents not needing you.

What rings an alarm bell is when you get nursery work - career change - financial services - nanny for 3 months - financial services for a bit again - strange gap - 2 days a week in a nursery - nanny for four months with mum at home - nanny for 2 months - bit of sales work - bit of nursery work again, and so on. If you've got a CV like that, you haven't built up the experience in home childcare and proper sole charge that employers with demanding jobs are looking for. Plus it looks like you are not committed to childcare as a career.

If your CV says something like Level 3 DCE - nursery 2 years - nanny job 9 months - nursery work 3 months - nanny job 2 years - nursery work 6 months - nanny job 3 months and so on, then it's clear your main interest is in caring for children.

Does that make sense?

I guessed it might be something like that, bran.

I wondered where the little blighters had been coming from.

At least children keep you young Boffin .

in her defence on point 3, i like to go away early sept as cheaper for me and no kids as should all be back at school

-shes given you over 2mths notice and sure if you liked her you would this holiday wouldnt be a sticking point

its just the other points

Yes I agree blondes I never go away in school holidays it's too expensive and too many children around.

bloody annoying screaming creatures eh red

I booked a holiday once for the first 2 weeks of September. One week was families choice and I asked if I could tag on a week of mine to follow - they had pre school children so they themselves preferred to holiday at this time. Then Mum was made redundant, got a great redundancy package and decided to be a SAHM for a couple of years so let me go (they were lovely about it and said I could stay for up to 5 months while I looked for the ideal job) If I had known I would be job hunting then there is no way I would book a holiday for those weeks.

• The 5 months took me to the end of August.

This is true, Blondes. I am looking for reasons to be annoyed, tbh.

I see where you are coming from Boffin and I love your open letter, especially about the "I am worth it angle" One of my past agency ladies now retired used to complain that a lot of her younger nannies, newly qualified would throw that one at her! She used to gently explain to then that they would need to be experienced to command the kind of wages they were asking for and even then, the employers might not be prepared to bankrupt themselves to pay for childcare

I have met some brilliant younger nannies but often found that it was the ones with a high opinion of themselves who weren't as good as they thought

"What rings an alarm bell is when you get nursery work - career change - financial services - nanny for 3 months - financial services for a bit again - strange gap - 2 days a week in a nursery - nanny for four months with mum at home - nanny for 2 months - bit of sales work - bit of nursery work again, and so on."

My CV is like that TBF it's all full time work, just not many childcare jobs! That's due to just being thankful to have a job and roof over my head that wasn't my parents though, and having to move around the country constantly in order to get these jobs! Luckily my current two families didn't ask to see my CV until after the interviews (May I just say, I adore my two families, they are both fantastic )

I hope that things turn out okay for you on the childcarer front! Your poor little one :(

I should also add that I have had four children and the oldest is 25, so I've used childcare for longer than average.

What you needed was some beloved elderly family nanny to wheel out of retirement until she dropped dead.

Seriously am feeling for you. I would seriously recommend going down the au pair route- get a series of intelligent gap year students who don't look too blasé to be trustworthy with young children (even if no experience you want them to have some inkling that it's a big responsibility). My last au pair was the 19 yo baby of a family of four, had no experience of baby-sitting or childcare, but asked all the right questions at interview, was lively, engaging and pleasant-mannered. She didn't want to work in childcare long-term but wanted to improve her English so she could go to university in Sweden rather than Germany. She was a big success.

Best ever though was my lovely Carolina, found in the extended family of a Spanish friend. She did want to work in childcare and is in fact back in Spain right now doing an early years teaching course, armed with fluent English and full of confidence. She looked after DD3 for the first year of her life, from 15 days old, as I work freelance from home and couldn't really take much time out. The good thing was that I was always in the house if there was a problem, and to be honest her job for the first three months was to hold the baby, talk to her and bring her to me if she needed feeding. As the baby got older though, she was the most fantastic carer to her. I can recommend the asking friends in x country for recommendations. There's already a link before they arrive and if you trust the person you've asked and they know you, they shouldn't recommend you anyone inappropriate.

Boffin - we were looking for a nanny recently and had loads of bitty CVs like that. We have a dearth of nannies available down here. DH's view is that because of the recession lots have gone back to nurseries so there is a shortage. And the ones left over are commuting to London - living in there for three nights a week.

Thirty three years!!! You are kidding me! You need a medal boff!

Did they all go to the same primary school? You will probably get a bench in your name when you go.

Fox, PMSL about bench at the primary school! .

Interviewed a very young nanny by Skype last night, but although she was lovely, I think she would struggle with this particular job, as she is rather shy and not from this area (she was applying to be live in).

Interviewing the sporty young man this evening, and I have to say he is looking better and better compared to the CVs of the others.

Matesnotdates, interesting theory that some areas have a dearth of nannies as they are all going back to nurseries - nurseries are also closing here and there, so I imagine there will be a childcare unemployment problem looming just at the time people need more childcare. It doesn't need to be like that - if nannies were a lot more modest in salary demands (and I am thinking of salaries in the region of £16-18k) then I think many of them could have really steady, reliable, comfortable, long term jobs with the same family if they wanted them. Instead they seem to get spurts of higher paid income and then down time when they can't earn much at all, yet they are uncomfortable with the insecurity that this sort of existence brings. And overall I imagine it averages out at £16-£18k anyway due to periods of not earning much. Am I right? (Please nannies, don't all howl that this wage is appallingly low etc, I am thinking just in very practical terms of the market here, and the fact that your wage almost always has to come out of another women's take home pay, which presents a natural upper limit in a lot of cases).

Duchesse, we actually do have a kind of family retainer, oddly enough, and I am sure she would have jumped at the chance to look after the kids, as she looked after us all when we were little, and she was brilliant at it. She still tries to look after us all now! However she is 90 this year and in another country. I think in my heart of hearts I am looking for another one like her, even though that was of its time, and I know such people don't exist any more.

Sunshinenanny, the various agencies have been great - I think they are as hacked off with these nannies as the parents are. It's just so unrealistic to go around demanding all this, in fact doing any demanding at all, especially given that it's a difficult economic climate. And there tends to be a negative emotional spin put on it, almost emotional blackmail, for example "If you cared about your children you would pay for the best care" etc. However as people on here have said, paying top dollar doesn't guarantee anything at all in terms of quality. I would say my top two child carers have been one AP+ I paid £90 a week to a few years back, and one nanny who was on £300 a week. The worst one I had was from The Place We Do Not Name, and quite pricey.

Anyway, onwards and upwards. I have been eating a lot of biscuits during this period of childcare stress, and I am further away than ever from being able to sit on a riding school pony without flattening it a la Birtwell cartoon, but hopefully this chap will be great and come across in a week's time and fearlessly take on my three 'luffly kids'.

You're all terrifying me!
I think there is always the problem of looking at a CV too closely.
As others have said, most people are probably just trying to remain employed.
Myself, my experience is largely childcare but with added experience as secretarial support/PA work - which I hope would be seen as a positive.
I'm most certainly in it for the long term, and presume that most Nanny positions would be long term unless stated otherwise. It comes with the territory really - a child can't be secure unless they have a stable childcare situation; a good Nanny would know that. It's part of the job!

I imagine that glowing references would be a huge factor in a family's descision though.

I'm really sad to hear about your experiences though, Boff! Big hugs to you!
I hope you find someone awesome soon!

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