The Curse of Boff strikes again - this nanny has decided after a fortnight in post that petrol is too expensive

[BoffinMum]

New nanny started two weeks ago, all going well, but then she resigns out of the blue.

This time, the cost of petrol and her 50 mile commute is blamed. She said she hadn't thought about that before taking the job.

I had a 'WTF???' moment as she was specifically asked about this at interview and by the agency.

Agency is being super and they are cross with her for messing us about, and they think she is being wimpy. So do I. She works 47.5 hours a week, so it's not as though her hours are mental for a nanny, either.

[cross]

Hmmmmm

Tbh no 3 def shows potential - good legs refs and likeable chatty covering letter

Be good to meet him first or can't you do that as abroad

Easy jet/Ryanair/flybe probably do cheap flights - definitely worth it if you think he has potential. Is he through the agency though?

He is being interviewed abroad by a partner agency, but we were thinking of Skyping.

Blondes, his Adam's apple is a bit big for my taste But I agree, his letter was very good. (We had four applications and the other three letters were so dire I couldn't bring myself to even bother reading to the end).

I think it sounds like you were the 'holding job' whilst the nanny circled the runway looking for somewhere to land closer to home. Such a shame for you and you really have my sympathy. We always set a max distance and ask the agencies not to send us anyone who lives outside that range. Our jobs always have long hours and it definitely makes the job less appealing if they have a commute on top. Our max range is currently 10 miles, although we might be being a bit conservative with that!
Agree that there don't seem to be that many good candidates looking at the moment. If the place that you don't name begins with 'N', then we advertised through them and no-one - repeat no-one has even applied through them.
We've done AP and housekeep combo - works really well as long as you get a good AP. Don't know how old yours are, but it's definitely only an option where you have older kids.
We currently have a Spanish AP (I am at home at the moment). There are LOADS of them out there ATM. Also, the Spanish government apparently pays some people to spend time overseas learning English, so don't feel too guilty about the low pay.

I hadn't thought of setting a maximum distance. That's a really good idea.

We used to do this with nannies and tube journeys.

I would hire the AP.

In any other line of work, if you repeatedly dumped employers because of things like this, and had as chequered a CV as the average nanny, nobody would hire you! Hardly any of them seem to stay as long as two years in any posts ...

That's me screwed then...

Some nannies do stay for ages though, presumably because the family spaced their children!

Nannying isn't like any other line of work though is it? You can hardly demand to continue working for a family if their children have gone to school/a parent has been made redundant/they're moving/they're switching to a childminder because it's cheaper etc.

Based on the nannies I know (a lot) I would say in 98% of cases jobs come to an end as a result of a change in the families' circumstances.

I have no problem with that, but there seems to be a pattern of a few months in nursery here, a few months there, then a bit of time off, and then a bit of nannying 2 days a week for a family, then a break, then off to another nursery for 6 weeks, etc etc. This tends to be dressed up by some of the agencies as something like 3 or 4 years solid full time experience, but upon delving it soon becomes apparent the situation is more flimsy, and the reality is some of the people turning up with CVs like this can't really hold down a job for any length of time and are a bit unreliable.

Present company naturally excepted from all this. Cos you are all ace nannies.

BTW how could I stop looking like a 'holding' job? This appears to have happened to us twice now.

I'm not sure what else you can do tbh. 47.5hrs a week are nice hours for a nanny and it sounds like the pay and conditions are good. Unfortunately some nannies, whilst having great references and being good with children, just aren't that proffessional. Of course, as a nanny you have to do what's right for you but that shouldn't be at the expense of the families you work for. I've met plenty of nannies who, whilst good, move on at the drop of a hat if anything goes against them rather than communicating any issues and trying to resolve them.

Your nanny should never have taken the job and I'd be seriously pissed off in your position. I'm vaguely job hunting ( DC1 starts school in Sept and I want to be around for the first term to do school pick ups and would need to put DC2 into a nursery or find someone happy to have her ) but I always google the distance from home to the job and work out rough petrol costs/ travelling times before even applying. If it's not cost effective then there's no point!

Your Au Pair bloke sounds like a good option especially if DC4 starts nursery in Sept.

czech bloke sounds brilliant

if you decide against him, and he's looking for work in the hertfordshire/essex area, let me know :o

He is mine, Kveta, hand off!

Seriously, are Czech blokes any good at domestic jobs like cleaning and ironing? As a general rule?

mine is - I don't do any of the ironing :o

cooking he's not so hot on, but FIL is an AMAZING cook, as are many of our male friends over there :)

ask him to cook svickova or smazeny syr :o

"... FWIW I do a 70 mile commute each way ..."

That's awful, what a way to start the working day!

(Or am I out of touch)?

boffin, some are and some arent, depending on their upbringing. i would say that lots of them are quite handy ,able to do maintanance stuff, gardening etc

50 miles in 45 minutes? Sounds like you are underestimating the commute.

No, she whizzes up the motorway, so it really is a straightforward run. I have to do A roads, on the other hand. (I agree, my commute is grim, but I was made redundant from my local job a while back - long story - and I haven't been able to find myself anything local since, not at the same level and that wouldn't be career/financial disaster, anyway).

However these days, I don't do that drive every day, and today I worked 9.30-5.00 sitting in my lovely garden at home where at the weekend I developed a really lovely outdoor study down the side of the house. So I can't be too annoyed with it all. Plus I have a colleague who commutes from Holland!!!!

DH is keen for us to get another nanny, as he thinks I'll get knackered with only an AP to support me (DH works even longer hours and has an even longer commute than I do). However I am worried they will be expensive and unreliable again, and the general support on here for a male AP is also influencing me, it has to be said.

Anyway, we are starting to line Skype interviews up now.

I have just remembered, I had a Czech boyfriend in my yoof, he was well lovely. .

'BTW how could i stop looking like a holding job?'.

Since you are offering many hours you shouldn't really be. Unless the pay is less than the average in the area.

Some factors: the age of the nanny, her personal life i.e. steady relationship, partner with steady job in the same area, mortgage/rent, no family nearby so nanny cant afford to leave jobs and stay free at her parents etc. Although the personality of the nanny is more important than these factors.

Maybe offer little perks for when you reach 3-6 months?
I imagine a young AP from abroad would like to see the rest of uk so if she/he can supress hours and then have long weekends every few months and if you have any deals/coupons that she could use and visit Scotland or Wales for example? Or if you offer/help with learning/studying opportunities...

What a nuisance. And she was a bit daft not to calculate how much 300+ miles a week in petrol would be. I can understand her shock, though. Must've been a significant chunk of her take-home pay.

Maybe you're between a rock and a hard place? You're not offering enough pay per hour to make someone looking for a lighter nannying load, but presumably couldn't afford to offer more? What's the gross salary?

Well the nanny that is just leaving has just come out of a relationship (before she started here) and lives with her parents rent-free, which is why she does that commute. She is paid exactly what the agency recommended as an average rate for the area, for slightly less work.

It is bad, Maples, isn't it? I used to take the CVs at face value until I learned to delve, and indeed I mentioned to Tinies that really they ought to be a bit more transparent about whether posts had been full or part-time, as it made a big difference over time in terms of real experience. I found some nannies were using, say, five years' experience as a justification for expecting more money, whereas if you added up all their paid work it sometimes came to as little as a year overall , thanks to big gaps between posts and only wanting to work part-time.

£25,000 pa gross