The Curse of Boff strikes again - this nanny has decided after a fortnight in post that petrol is too expensive

[BoffinMum]

New nanny started two weeks ago, all going well, but then she resigns out of the blue.

This time, the cost of petrol and her 50 mile commute is blamed. She said she hadn't thought about that before taking the job.

I had a 'WTF???' moment as she was specifically asked about this at interview and by the agency.

Agency is being super and they are cross with her for messing us about, and they think she is being wimpy. So do I. She works 47.5 hours a week, so it's not as though her hours are mental for a nanny, either.

[cross]

Make someone? Err, what? Ignore my horrible typing!

Oh well, then. Ignore that then. £25k gross is very acceptable.

Well, I think it is. You can rent your own flat around here for that, but it's her choosing to look in this area for work, and choosing to live at home with her folks (she is 31, by the way!)

Boffin, my brother has a male AP / nanny for his two boys and he is faaaantaaaaastic looking . I'm not sure but I think the AP/nanny divide is less marked in Canada, where they are. Anyways they call him their "manny" which always makes me

Good luck with the decision - I agree with others, give the bloke a go!

I could always try it out for the summer and see how it went, of course.

I really feel for you Bof. Your OP is such a nightmare situation.
I am going back to work soon with no more maternity leave ever again. So we really, really want someone who will come and stick around, but the candidates are often really patchy. If I had moved around like some of them seem to, I would be practically unemployable.
I am worried about the comment further up about nannies leaving the minute something 'goes against them'. What sort of thing could go against them?
Nannies on here - what has made you leave jobs before?

Family moving or changing circumstances.

Children heading into ft education.

Shortest was 1yr and longest 3.5yrs

Now a maternity nanny.

Boff - what the hell are you doing to them all? You have had more nannies/au pairs than most kids have had hot dinners!! Are you really that scary??

Seriously though, working from home is going to put a lot of nannies off Boff.

The Manny (MAP) sounds like a good option... then see how it goes when the wee one goes to school. That's what I'd do anyway :) not in the slightest because eye candy would be nice all summer, oh no

I think my last job I would have quite happily have stayed forever (or until they didn't want me) but they ran out of money..... which is pants. I've only had 2 nanny jobs everything else was teaching work that was on short term contracts. The other nanny job, he got too big. Its the life of nannies. I hated leaving the last job because I really miss the little boy I cared for and I know he really misses me and my kids. I'm now looking for another job but I am finding it difficult to find the one that right for me. I suppose as families you are wanting the right nanny for you; its the same way for me. I look for the right family for me and my situation. At the interview I try and find out as much as I can so I can go away and think about how the situation would work. I do find the agencies really do push you to decide everything almost straight away. That's not me. I actually only have one agency I trust, all the others I go to with gritted teeth because I just feel all they seem to be after if the agency fee.

Either side of the fence it's difficult.

I am deeply scary, ask HappyChappy!!

No, we're actually very normal and boring - nannies have left us because they get offers nearer home (3 times), were only temporary in the first place (fair enough) and in one case wanted to be a classroom assistant instead. And one of them didn't like nannying after all and wanted a different kind of job. APs have usually left us because their time was up anyway, but one was stealing from us , one was depressed and went back to Sweden because she had had her boyfriend stolen, and one had an avoidable bike accident with DS1 (who had no helmet on at the time) and was scared to death of looking after kids after that.

We are not eating them, honest! Many still visit us!! And babysit!!

I should also add that I have had four children and the oldest is 25, so I've used childcare for longer than average.

Boffinmum is really very nice and that is a lot of childcare to find (25 years). Nanny job just generally don't last very long so 2 years is good time for a nanny to stay in one job. I would say I'm an exception to the rule

at Happychappy's appreciation of Maison de Boff.

Definitely go for the bloke - as you say, if it doesn't work out over the summer, you can think again. Do you have anyone in mind for the cleaning/housekeeping side. If you can do a video Skype interview that would help, I guess?

disagree that 2 years is a long time to stay in a job

my last 3 i have been in for 5yrs and over - left as 1st family moved and 2nd and 3rd the youngest at school so made redundant

and yes boffy is lovely :)

Most nannies are asked to leave when the youngest child is in full time school. I have had some long term jobs and prefer to work that way. but there are so many reasons we are made redundant. Shorter term jobs are not always the nannies fault.

I actually think if you take a job with a baby, then you should probably expect to stay until the baby is old enough to start school, unless there are dramatic events taking place in your life (family relocate, spouse relocates, family runs out of money, that kind of thing). But I know that's an old fashioned view.

Nearly all of my education jobs involved me being there at least 4-5 years.

sunshine, sometimes all the jobs are bitty and fragmented, no longer term stuff at all.

That's different, I lost one job because 9 weeks after the mums return to work she was edged out of her job and therefore didn't need childcare. Would you have looked at my CV and said "only 9 weeks in last job! lets not bother with this one."
My longest job was 7 years and I still have a good relationship with the children (now grown up) but so many people do not want long term nannies now. and it's sad if judgements are made on no more than them having done a few two year stints or temporary jobs when recession has meant full time long term work wasn't available.I have 30 years experience and can assure you I am both reliable and proffessional in my approach and would need a very good reason to walk out on any job I had taken on.

No, Sunshine, I would have looked at the 7 year thing and snapped you up for an interview.

If someone has only ever done 8-12 weeks for 2-3 days a week for their whole working life, then that's different, obv.

The reality is that many nannies flounce off for the most trivial of reasons, or demand terms that are unrealistic (my favourite is when they more or less tell me to give up working full time so my career fits around their schedule ). This gives the rest of the profession a bad reputation.

Also Sunshine, we are talking about younger nannies here, pre NNEB, and possibly trained more to look at any job as a kind of substitute for a nursery job, with employees being more or less interchangeable, whereas a home childcare job demands more personal involvement, otherwise you are tramping on other people's lives.

I think most younger nannies I know take a job on even though it's not ideal, but their attitude is it will do for now.

I have turned down nanny jobs because it wasn't quite right for me.

I think it's wrong to take a job that will do as it is the poor children that suffer,I always think it must be awful for a child to get used to you and then just up and leave because something better comes along.

My last few nanny jobs were less than a year - one the parents moved out of the city, one the mum's job was temporary/hours reduced (did not know this when I took the job!) and one was a temporary position (9 months - but I did know this when I started). Now working in a nursery for some stability

Open letter to the local nanny who has just tried to apply for a job with us.

1. No, you are not worth £32,500 gross FTE. Frankly, I could get a locum GP for about that money these days, or a senior paediatric nurse, or a lecturer in Early Years Foundation Stage. (Maybe I should be considering that?)
2. No, I am not prepared to go part-time to fit in with your desire to have every Friday off.
3. No, I am not prepared to run myself ragged because you were daft enough to book a holiday for right at the beginning of the school term in September, when just about every child-related household in Britain is at their busiest (unless you have just one baby to look after, and parents who don't need to be in work in September).

I am sure there are no end of families who will bow to your demands, because you are presumably, as you say, 'worth it', but not us.

RubiRosa, that would not be a problem for us, it's when people have just been arsing about doing nothing that we question their ability to stick at a job.

I do think there's a case for all nannies being freelance, you know, given the current climate. Like Holland.