hmmmm parents home late again and my son 10th birthday hmmm

[happychappy]

not happy

And if that had been made clear in the morning I would have organised myself completely differently and would have had NO problem at all with it and actually would have happily invited fed them too in my home BUT that didnt happen. A maybe this might happen today so perhaps charge can enjoy the birthday party with you all would have been lovely.

purits and I appreciate that and that into account but by the same token with a bit of communication on their part it could have been completely not a problem

Heswell are you suggesting I have not been understanding?

It's communication isn't it Happy and that's understandable.

xposts, no that was to the other lady who has given up her high flying career to put her children first unlike all of us working mums who keep her in a job

Understanding? I put up with this for 2 years, for the child's sake. I have bent over backwards for them, so I take affront to your sarcy tone.

But when it now means we miss my husband's physio sessions in the evenings (he has a bone disease) because they are late EVERY DAY, so we miss the sessions... and I have a husband in agony... ? Besides the monetary cost (we are not remunerated for the lost sessions). My husband comes first, before my job. NOTHING to be sneered at.

Your attitude really stinks Heswall. I pity your kids/employees/husband if your job always comes first.

Well said Elizabethdarcy! Heswell maybe its impossible to call but we aren't in the dark ages how about a quick text to let your employee know you will be late.
Happychappy, I was a nanny for a similair family, they would phone when they were meant to be home, saying only just leaving, or train delayed etc..which I wouldn't mind here or there but everyday!! so not just a little late finishing(cancelling plans) usually an hour. on one occassion Mum had taken girl to a party(i had the boys) she called when due home to say girl having lovely time would like to stay on!!! more like Mum hadn't seen her friends in ages and would like to stay to catch up have a vino!!
I was a good timekeeper, but somedays there would be traffic probs and I would be late..oh how she liked to tell me that it wasn't acceptable!!!!!
Honestly whatever happened to treat people as you would want to be treated yourself??
Good luck job hunting, not all employers are selfish!!

'xposts, no that was to the other lady who has given up her high flying career to put her children first'

Oh I thought it was to me... I don't have kids.

Thank you Elizabeth and bump.
Haswell please educate me as to when I should stop being understanding and when they are taking the piss because I fail to see the line

but by the same token with a bit of communication on their part it could have been completely not a problem

Totally agree there.
Perhaps it's a question to ask at interview: which of the neighbours will babysit if when you are late home.
Or choose a family who don't have all their work commitments in one basket!

Happy... arrive late to work every day (without texting them even) and see how understanding they will be ;)

Honestly... we ALL have busy lives and it's only decent to treat others the way you would wish they'd treat you. It goes both ways.

Sadly though, we live in a selfish 'I am all important, sod everyone else' society (as is very evident in this thread).

Well I employed two nannies over a period of 14 years. In that time I travelled all over the UK and all over the world. But between my husband and I, the number of times our nanny had to give up any of her time can be counted on the fingers of less than one hand. And I often work evenings untill 10.30pm.

Yes, things happen. And if you're a surgeon/part of a surgical team/a doctor as Heswall appears to be, there will be times when emergencies happen. But you are one of a partnership as you have a DP.

There is no excuse for thinking you can own a nanny in the way that you imply. Even if they live-in, they are allowed to have their own time and their own lives!

It's selfish and completely lacking in respect.

Communication and planning are key in this regard, as are laying down the ground rules before you employ a nanny and before you take on the position as a nanny.

It's bloody hard work looking after children all day - the hours of a nanny are unlike any other - and let's not forget that it's often impossible for them to have a break or a lunch break either!

Ultimately, what posters like Heswall are saying is that they are more important than the nanny and that their time, job and child has to take priority over another human being's own life (and child, in this intance). It is morally reprehensible.

What BIWI said.

To be honest BIWI child is also forgotten. I have lost count of the number of times charge has sat waiting for them to come home sometimes crying. Its not just me that finds this situation difficult. Last night was one of those nights charge fell alseep on sofa so I took to bed and charge woke and cried until slept again. This further upsets me

That's sad.

tell me about it

put her children first unlike all of us working mums who keep her in a job

Oh my. Are you a character from upstairs downstairs Heswall?

The sense of entitlement and superiority is

Heswall, reading this post and your other comments on the cm who takes her mother to the day care centre( selfish bitch) I actually think u r just winding everyone up for your own personal enjoyment.

I find your comments very funny anyway so well done.

Happychappy - I have never employed a nanny, but have never treated any of my childcare providers like you are being treated.

True... it's how the kids feel. As a CM I have the kids (contracted) for 10-12 hours every day.. the lil blighters are tired and just want their mum and dad after such a long day. I juggle 7 different families too - children are all part timers. If they all had the attitude of Heswall/the family I gave notice to, I'd just boil my head and be done with it! sigh

Well said Biwi.

Probably but how sad because there are parents (hopefully Heswell is winding us up) that actually do think and feel like this.

"I do need a wife for want of a better description (i'm female and have a husband but a wife is what I need) and that is why we pay a premimum for a nanny."

No Heswall if you need a "wife for want of a better description" then what you hire is a HOUSEKEEPER not a nanny. Nannies are for looking after children, housekeepers are for doing the housework/collecting your dry cleaning/being at your beck and call.

Christ alive!

Btw I also have worked in theatre, if ops overrun its commen practise for surgeon to get other staff members to make phone calls home, no excuse at all.

Judging by what Heswall said at Fri 03-Feb-12 10:18:43 she is a surgeon.

I think the nature of the employer's job / circumstances has a big bearing on the terms of employment. if I'm correct, Heswall can't walk out half way through an lumpectomy - or whatever - that needs more time than originally planned because the life of the patient could be at stake. Similarly she is in no position to call easily, although it may be possible to get someone to call on her behalf (obv I don't know the circs of her work).

If the OP's employers are, for example, lawyers then it is not so easy to accept their poor time-keeping or lack of communication as they can leave at any point.

SO in summary, there's a lot of aggro on here which is purely because everyone is assuming that we all work under the same circumstances. If I was a nanny to a Dr (and I have been) then I would work in the knowledge that sometimes things like that happen and flexibility is required. If I was a nanny to a lawyer then I would work in the knowledge that more rigid timekeeping and regular hours are to be expected.

As with most of these things: it's about managing expectations according to individual circumstances. There is no "one size fits all".