Goodness, well I'm up at 3 because I am really bothered by the going ons of today. I wrote on here because it was that or open my big mouth and it coming out all wrong.
I am a very professional childcarer. He was asleep what work were you expecting me to do after the toys have been put away the house tidied and their dinner cooked, dishes washed and put away, chicken put to bed. Scrub the floors, sit and watch the TV trying not to crease the sofa. How many of those who called me being on the internet have NEVER used internet in their office? How many who have called me on bitching and never botched about their work. I just can't ring a friend so have done it annoymously it order I don't go home and sit in a foul mood with my family because I have steam coming out of my ears.
Just probably I was being a bit of a martyr but
- as a nanny I'm in a very vunerable position, I need my reference so have to be very careful what I say and how I say it.
- I was putting the 3 year old innocent first as he has done nothing wrong, has a flithy cold and really should be in bed not out in the cold.
My son was cool I think but I am very disappointed this is the first time I have ever been not around for his birthday. I have always taken the day off but it was made clean no time off until end of March (even though I have 5 days leave which I haven't used (not including overtime) to be used by 1st March. My husband was in hospital for a day last month I was fannied about so much about the day off even though I told them early December I needed that day off. I knew I had the day off after I had taken him to hospital!!!!
I don't might flexible, adaptable. I cool with the whatever approach for the most part BUT my family stuff that is known about way in advance and I try to plan for and then is fucked up I really am NOT cool with. I don't think I should be expected to be cool with. If the shoe was on the other foot that most certainly would not be cool with me and I would looking for another job.
Respect goes both ways and I am rapidly losing both patience and respect for them and the situation. I do above and boyond what is expected of me (including trying to fix electrics because the system blew again) but have pretty much autonomy in terms of how I do my work. Again there are benefit in this position I probably wouldn't get elsewhere particularly in this climate however the payoff doesn't always work.
I was planning to used my annual review at the end of February to reestablish the rules of ours relationship fully expecting them to want to change some things too. However, I am increasingly feeling that perhaps they need a mother/family member who is prepared to drop everything at anything time in order to accommodate their needs and wants. I can't see many other people staying very long in this job with the demands of it.
I have discussed this with DH and orginally agreed that the best road forward was to wait to the annual review and reestablish acceptable expectations. However given the last 2 weeks I can't see me not blowing my top and saying thank you but heres my notice. (Something I really can't afford to do). My DH feels perhaps nows the time to look for another role but I feel very attached to my charge and he is going though a really insecure stage and don't want to make that worse for him but my family are also suffering because of my work. I feel very torn.
Another reason for holding back on the conversation is I am very worried they will just say thats the job like it lump and I will say lump it. Thus turning into a very negative situation and at worse I then have trouble finding another role because of loss of my good name (something I have worked very hard for).
Hmmmmm what to do what to do.
PS those that seem to have a problem with me not working at 7.15 when officially I finish work at 7 having started at 7.30 in the morning. I assume in your job you have a lunch break? Coffee break? Are not restricted to where you can go during working hours? Don't have to have a mobile phone on you AT ALL TIMES? Can mostly choose if you've had enough and want to go home? Can choose ALL you holiday within reason ( I have chosen 10 days of which I ended up going in on 3 day of). nannying is a very reasonsible job which you have hugh restrictions placed on you not only in your own time but also free time (I saw once a mother on here her nanny smoked in her freetime; please when was slavery introduced). There is an increasing amount of disrespect to those who choose to work with children. I choose to work with children because it is something I am good at, trained for and actually like. BUT as most people who do this kind of job its the parents not the children who make it a great or just awful. Before responded I have not attacked anyone personally and was using this forum to rant however some people have been rather personal and unpleasant. I'm not looking for agreement but it would be nice before responding a tone of respect is used and understanding that I was when initially posting very very cross.
PPS I don't need or want grovelling just consideration as a human being and mother myself.
Ok phew got that off mychest