Where is the respect for nannies?

[Caramellatteandchocolate]

I have been a nanny for 15 years. I have had mainly very sucesfully positions, but the odd one where families have been completely out of order and generally lacked respect.

Having read through a number of the the threads I have to ask where is the respect for nannies? We generally work much longer hours than the parents, we look after what should be the most precious thing in a parents life, but yet constantly have to put up with mothers being petty and unreasonable, is it a jealously thing or what?

Many mothers are quite rude to there nannies and very unreasonable, think that they can treat them like something the have trodden in and expect them to be slaves around the house!

Many families don't think twice to paying late, coming home late and not apologising or offering to pay the extra or offer the time off, yet if the roles were to be reversed the nanny would be given a stern talking to. If a nanny is unwell they are often made to feel guilty for the inconvienience is has caused, when we ar all human and occasionally can't work.

As a nanny we have no protection and is the only job where people get taken advantage of and treated with such little respect, it just wouldn't be allowed in other professions cause people would have grievances made against them.

Most of us do a fantastic job, please remember a happy nanny means happy children!

Yes caramel I think it is the tone of some of the posts. Yours was a valid point you pointed out that not all employers are like that. You sound like a lovely nanny.

Interesting thread. I was out the other evening with a group of acquaintances, one of them has a new au pair and did nothing but pick holes in her, really ripped her to shreds. Personal things like her choice of clothes, the way she dished out corn flakes.
She had nothing nice to say about the girl who she chose to after her 4 young children. We were being positive saying how friendly she was. I found it totally bizarre - the lack of basic respect.

I'm glad you describe her as an acquaintance and not a friend! Sounds nasty. The trouble is that bullying attitude backfires as the children always pick up on it and end up conflicted and confused.

can u imagin if an employee was overheard pulling her employers to bits. Thats just plain nasty.

Redglow, I think you've got it right about agencies. The trouble is that they are not what they used to be! once upon a time a good agency would try to match the nanny to the family and would make sure that the employer knew what a nannies duties were and the difference between a nanny and a mothers help. I was even advised by one agency not to take a job because they had a bad reputation as employers. most agencies now tend to send u list of jobs and expect you to do the ground work yourself. There are odd exceptions to this.

I am not a jobsworth and do the odd thing that is not part of my job but many parents don't seem to know the difference between a nanny an au pair or a mothers help (all deserve respect) but the rolls are quite different! I interveiwed for one lady who seemed to think that because her child was under a year I would have nothing to do all day and would do her General housework. I pointed out to her that allthough she had advertised for a nanny a mothers help might be more to her taste.

It's not helped by the fact that there are now people advertising themselves as nannies who when I started working in this field 30 years ago would not even have got a placement as an au pair.

As for OhFractios and her mini seminar on respect, Bored isn't the word I nearly fell asleep. Perhaps she was trying to be clever!

Everyone deserves respect regardless off what their job involves and financial superiority has nothing to do with it.

Boffin/OhFractious I would like to leave you with a quote from Oklahoma "I'm not saying Im any better than anybody else; But I'll be damned If I aint just as good"

I am not sure it was fair to aim that at me. I never said nannies weren't as good, I said the emotional manipulation, blackmailing and generally negative behaviour of some members of (mainly) the local nanny clique did the profession damage IMO. And I still think that's fair comment.

And FWIW I have heard these same nannies bitch about their employers, not even realising I know some of the families well. I watched one local nanny run rings round a friend, bad mouthing her and subsequently leaving her in the lurch, and then couple of years later she applied for a job with me, not knowing who I was, and made a great tale up about why she left that I knew for a fact just wasn't true at all.

I think the proper nannies ought to be rounding on these bad apples and limiting the excesses of their bad behaviour.