Where is the respect for nannies?

[Caramellatteandchocolate]

I have been a nanny for 15 years. I have had mainly very sucesfully positions, but the odd one where families have been completely out of order and generally lacked respect.

Having read through a number of the the threads I have to ask where is the respect for nannies? We generally work much longer hours than the parents, we look after what should be the most precious thing in a parents life, but yet constantly have to put up with mothers being petty and unreasonable, is it a jealously thing or what?

Many mothers are quite rude to there nannies and very unreasonable, think that they can treat them like something the have trodden in and expect them to be slaves around the house!

Many families don't think twice to paying late, coming home late and not apologising or offering to pay the extra or offer the time off, yet if the roles were to be reversed the nanny would be given a stern talking to. If a nanny is unwell they are often made to feel guilty for the inconvienience is has caused, when we ar all human and occasionally can't work.

As a nanny we have no protection and is the only job where people get taken advantage of and treated with such little respect, it just wouldn't be allowed in other professions cause people would have grievances made against them.

Most of us do a fantastic job, please remember a happy nanny means happy children!

The truth that doesn't speak its name here is that if a nanny is one of the most important people in a child's life, is it unethical to leave with a month's notice on a whim because you fancy a bit of a change? Or someone else offers you a bit more money? I am sure no nannies here would be as flippant, and mine certainly gave me a lot more notice she was wanting to leave for personal reasons that I can completely understand, but I have come across others who would quite happily ditch kids they have spent quite a long time with for the most superficial of reasons.

Boffin - I agree. Its not as if I would expect a nanny to be teaching my children English but to be bothered and professional enough to send a properly worded email.

I thought you were saing the original post spelt something wrong. Yes fair enough her cv should be with no spelling mistakes. Still think this nanny is not desperate for work and just trying it on with you.

Its not as if I would expect a nanny to be teaching my children English but to be bothered and professional enough to send a properly worded email.

^

I'm a Nanny who is more than happy to teach English and has experience in doing so, yet I keep encountering families who do not want the 'responsibility' of being a nanny employer and do not want to pay their nannies full tax and NI - very frustrating.

I feel a bit surprised about the insistence of the professionalism of nannies on this thread. I know some are very professional and good at what they do, but when a job officially requires

• no formal training
• no membership of professional body
• no regulation
• no cpd

Then how is it a profession?

And surely nursery workers have to have more qualifications, as they are required to be working for nvqs? I might have misunderstood that though.

I call myself a 'professional' nanny as I am a member of a regulatory body, have nursery nursing qualifications along with a degree (invloving child development) and have up to date first aid cert. I also involve myself in as much CPD as I can. It can be difficult for a nanny to leave a family and it can be seen as detrimental to the children however sometimes it is just time to move on no matter how hard it is. If someone else offers you more money and you think that it is going to be a better deal all round for you then you have a very tough decision to make - I hate leaving families but sometimes it is for the best.

The bottom line is that if you choose to employ someone in your home to care and educate your children then you need to treat them with care and respect and also not consider them as being 'below' you (even if they can't spell!). In return nannies should be reliable, caring and respectful but above all professional. In the end it is a job and it is very hard sometimes to remember that as you can become so emotionally involved in the whole family unit.

'The truth that doesn't speak its name here is that if a nanny is one of the most important people in a child's life, is it unethical to leave with a month's notice on a whim because you fancy a bit of a change?'

TBH I don't think that's really relevant to this thread. Is it unethical? No, I don't think so. If the nanny has given the required notice period, be it a month or two months or more and is leaving on good terms then I think that's fine. I don't think the reason that the nanny leaves is really important i.e. if nanny leaves 'on a whim' or because of serious personal issues the result for the parent and the child is the same; you need to find a new nanny. It's certainly not unprofessional to give the required notice and leave a job on good terms and it's not something that justifies a lack of respect for nannies in general (which is what this thread seems to be about).

abirdinthehand I think maybe the arguement is not that 'nannying' is a profession, but that there are professional nannies if that's possible! There are nannies who are educated (very highly in some cases) in their field, members of a professional body, members of a regulatory body (OFSTED) and partake in CPD.

The majority of nannies come from nurseries so will have completed the NVQ/NNEB training.

boffin what is your problem? Do you get something out of nanny bashing? There's good and bad everywhere. Just because you have seen some shoddy performance, why focus on the negative? I find it quite insulting actually, and although the OP isn't exactly positive either, there's no need for this. We've all had bad experiences, whether it is with employers or with employees, or eve n with people-we-have-a-verbal-agreement-with-but-entrust-our-childs-lives-to.

A nanny has just started with me and I have massive respect for her. She keeps my son happy and amused all day which I could not do as well. She is good at her job and I am good at mine. It does not mean I am better than her because I earn four times as much. My dh earns less then me I do not think I am better than him.

I feel a bit guilty going to work as I think most mums do but it's my choice everyone is good at something and you do not need loads of qualifications to be good at you job.

everyone is good at something and you do not need loads of qualifications to be good at you job.

SO true.... I don't have 'loads of qualifications' but I'm a very good Nanny, one that gives 100% to her 'job' that is much more a passion than a job.... The fact that children I cared for 4 years ago, still miss me and ask me when I'm next visiting, tells me that!

... if only I could find a great new family to join/help

I am sure it will not be long before you find a nice family with that lovely attitude I would take experience any day.

I do appreciate many nannies voluntarily involve themselves with the list of things I suggested above. But unfortunately until they become mandatory, there will be - and are - many nannies with no or very few qualifications, no regulation, and no obligation by a professional body to do cpd. Some of them are probably brilliant at their jobs. But if you want to be seen as a profession, and treated as professionals, you have to have the kind of regulation other professions have.

I agree childcare in general is given insufficient status in this country. But the way to change that is to demand mandatory training and regulation for nannies and other childcare workers.

eastnorth good luck with your nanny, you're right sometimes the best person to look after your child isn't you, 24/7.

I think it's a bit unfair to say I am nanny bashing. I've been saying that actually, most employers (including me) are very appreciative and respectful of what most nannies do, but amongst your ranks you have a rogue element that expects a great deal in return for as little as possible, whilst being somewhat manipulative, and that this is harmful to the greater good, not to mention the reputation of nannies as a whole. To illuminate this, I have given some examples of what I think is the extreme end of this 'rogue' element and explained why I think some of the behaviour may be problematic to employers.

I would say it's like the rogue element in teaching where people are only in it for the holidays, or the doctor who is contemptuous of patients and fails to diagnose things properly out of laziness, or the healthcare assistant who huddles in an office drinking tea because patients are too much bother, or the professor that disappears on 'research leave' for months on end abandoning his/her research students and colleagues. All these behaviours do damage to clients, pupils and patients, society and the profession's reputation in each case.

Those of you who are on here are clearly very professional and take pride in what you do. Let's hope that mindset becomes more universal.

Baffin, the thing is in the other examples you give, these people are breaking universally acknowledged codes of conduct when the do these things, that is why we are indignant about the rogue doctor or whoever - and if their behaviour is bad enough they get struck off, or asked to attend mandatory training etc. nannies have no universal code of conduct, or mandatory training - anyone can be a nanny. So it's no great shock if some are crap, and there is no official way of improving this.

Abirdinthehand

"I agree childcare in general is given insufficient status in this country. But the way to change that is to demand mandatory training and regulation for nannies and other childcare workers"

Or people could realise that maybe there are some jobs that you can be really, very good at without madatory training/regulation. I don't think I necessarily want nannying to be treated as a 'profession', labels like that don't really bother me. I just want to be valued for doing a good job (luckily for me I am). It would be enough if it was widely known/acknowledged that nannying is a job that has a wide range of people (some very qualified, some very experienced, some both, some neither). The perception that a nanny sits on the sofa watching TV and eating biscuits while the kids entertain themselves, is the problem.

Boffinmum You have been nanny bashing.

I don't think there is a single person who disagrees with you that there are some bad nannies. Just, as you say, there are bad doctors, bad teachers etc etc etc. But when you go off on one of your rants you don't talk about some nannies, you talk about 'nannies', 'they' which comes across as meaning all nannies.

For example up the thread when you talk about how parents have to come home and do a nannies job, while the nanny has a relaxing weekend....

Simply isn't true for all nannies is it?

I also agree with whoever said that being a nanny isn't just being a parent. IME one of the benefits of having a nanny is getting the nanny to do the stuff you don't want to. So the children have a week including trips to museums, art and craft, shopping for school shoes, making dens, reading stories, doing their homework, eating home cooked, healthy meals and a million other things. They don't touch a computer, watch TV or eat any junk. The weekend rolls round and mum and dad can have a relax whilst the kids get in their weekly screen time and have a 'junky' meal as they've eaten healthily all week!

I am sorry if nannies on here feel bashed. That was not my intention. . But I am starting to feel a bit Boffin bashed as well tbh.

I think it's maybe just a misunderstanding then, as I said we all agree that there are some bad nannies and totally agree that the nanny on that email was being ridiculous. Just that we don't all want to be bashed because of a few bad eggs.

Strolls in with suntan and jetlag

There are always going to be bad nannies and bad employers as well as good nannies and good employers

Boffy is a lovely considerate employer who over the years I have known her has had a run of bad luck with nannies - ESP the one from the place we do not name

And yes a cv and accompanying email should be word perfect in any position

Eats chocolates and strolls back to bed :)

Er no, actually, Boffin may be a considerate employer to you, but she is more than happy to run down all other nannies. It's called prejudice.

It's like saying 'some of my best friends are black but...'

"I also agree with whoever said that being a nanny isn't just being a parent. IME one of the benefits of having a nanny is getting the nanny to do the stuff you don't want to. So the children have a week including trips to museums, art and craft, shopping for school shoes, making dens, reading stories, doing their homework, eating home cooked, healthy meals and a million other things. They don't touch a computer, watch TV or eat any junk. The weekend rolls round and mum and dad can have a relax whilst the kids get in their weekly screen time and have a 'junky' meal as they've eaten healthily all week!"

Bloody hell! If that's the way parents treat their nannies and children, how do they expect to earn their children's respect and authority when there is no longer a nanny in the mix?