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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Nanny asks for day off, is refused, and calls in sick anyway

153 replies

oranges · 19/09/2011 07:51

Our nanny asked for today off to greet her boyfriend when he gets back from holiday. I did try to accomodate her request but just couldn't. But her sister has now texted me to say she's not coming in. I have no choice but to believe her but it looks fishy. Can or should I say something? She calls in sick quite often and I've never said anything before than get well soon. And we give loads annual leave- 8 weeks a year, just on the understanding that it's taken at a time that suits us. I have also always said yes before for requests for time off, even if IRS inconvenient but today is really, really tough. Am wondering if we should look at nurseries instead.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheOriginalFAB · 19/09/2011 21:00

She works for you.
You pay her.
She should do what she is paid for and realise how lucky she is to have a job in this climate.
She doesn't have a good work ethic if she calls in sick when she isn't and has her sister text, text ffs, in for her.
If you don't remind her who is boss she will contine to walk all over you.
And kids move on pretty quick. There will be other nannies who are great with the kids and reliable.

Original poster

oranges · 19/09/2011 22:19

thank you again for the advice and bolstering. I feel quite down and deflated by all this - hiring a nanny is crippling us financially, but I had thought it was the best option for peace of mind to enable us to get our careers back on track. Instead, we are poor and still struggling. I am not going to see her (assuming she deigns to turn up) until tomorrow evening as I'm working so early, so I'll be feeling tense about this for another day.

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/09/2011 22:31

tbh if having a nanny is crippling you then i advise looking for a cm - you will save 6hrs a day on fees

Original poster

oranges · 19/09/2011 22:46

There are no decent childminders round here! The talk I've had with dh is that he will ask for a four day week, and I work three days, so we can put dd in nursery, and ds in afterschool club, for two days a week. ds and dd were so delighted to have daddy with them today, and despite nanny stress I was really happy to come home to cheerful children and dinner on the stove, that we thought it would be good for us as a family to repriorotise, instead of paying over the odds for childcare that adds to our stress. though dh is now upstairs working to make up for missing the day

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/09/2011 23:29

swings and roundabouts - maybe have a 2 day nanny and daddy day care one day?

ChippingIn · 19/09/2011 23:37

Most nannies aren't like this - honestly. I really think you should find a new nanny for however many days you need one for. It's an employers market at the moment so you shouldn't have any trouble finding one.

A1980 · 19/09/2011 23:46

She's had about 7 days off sick since she started work 6 months ago, which seems high.

It's ridiculous. I've had one sick day so far this year and about 3-4 last year. I did have the norovirus last year otherwise I wouldn't have been ill at all.

She might be a good nanny otherwise but it she the only one that exists? No. There are plenty of nannies who will not behave this way. If I did this at my place of work, I would be called into a meeting with HR.

Blueberties · 20/09/2011 00:31

Gosh if it's crippling yhou, and stressing you out, and not even covering your needs, there's really no question, she needs to go.

fraktious · 20/09/2011 06:20

She needs to go, definitely. Can you change your work patterns so ypu need different days?

But under a year you can fire and rehire pretty much at will (except when there's a disclosed pregnancy involved etc.)

Original poster

oranges · 20/09/2011 08:25

She's called in sick again today -sent me a text saying she's got a temperature, and has switched off her phone. Her contract explicitly says notification by text message is not acceptable. So I don't want her to come back. I'll pay her one month's notice if need be but I don't want her to come back to work. What do I do? Do I send her a letter? Text? Phone? Do I say its related to the unreliability, or just say we no longer need a nanny? She's meant to come in tomorrow but I'm taking the day off so I want to tell her a)not to come tomorrow and b)not to come at all.

OP posts:

CoffeeIsMyFriend · 20/09/2011 08:29

Get yourself some reliable childcare then ditch the nanny.

RitaMorgan · 20/09/2011 08:36

I'd call her and tell her that she's too unreliable, and you are giving her notice and paying her off. Put it in writing too and keep a copy - note that you've already given her verbal warnings about reliability. That way it is all recorded so if anyone comes to you for a reference for her you can tell them why you let her go.

Ladymuck · 20/09/2011 08:40

Do you have a contract with her? If so, what does it say regarding sick leave and notice periods? If not, then there are statutory provisions, but as said elsewhere there are 3 waiting days before statutory sick pay kicks in. And anything over a week's notice is generous.

Original poster

oranges · 20/09/2011 08:43

the contract just says standard ssp legislation applies. What does that mean? She's been with me less than a year. my mum will come to help out till we find more regular childcare so I can lose her straight away. I don't feel comfortable leaving my children in her care, as I think she's coming under the malign influence of her toxic family that she had tried hard to break away from.

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 20/09/2011 08:47

SSP kicks in after 3 days continuous illness - if you are off for 1-3 days it is unpaid, if you are off for 4+ days you get SSP.

Ladymuck · 20/09/2011 08:51

Given that she works parttime it is important that you identify which day was the first day or sickness, but there are 3 waiting days (during which she is not entitled to pay). What notice period is in the contract?

HattiFattner · 20/09/2011 08:52

I think you are doing the right thing - get rid of her. SHe is now on 9 days sick in a 6 month period and she only works 3 days a week, plus gets 8 weeks holidays....Shes blown it! SHe will not get another cushy little number like this again.

Id also be tempted to contact the other family she was working with, let them know you have terminated her contract and why, just in case they were wanting to employ her full time, she is now on the market.

HereIGo · 20/09/2011 08:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

oranges · 20/09/2011 08:53

We have a one month notice period. She tells me she took annual leave Friday so today is day two of official sickness. But is giving her notice linked in anyway to administering ssp?

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EightiesChick · 20/09/2011 08:58

I don't think contact the other family (as Hatti suggested), that is descending to her level. They will find out soon enough, as you have, about her unreliability. I would take some time today to get HR advice (you could post in the employment section here as well as on this thread) and put a letter together setting out your position. I see HereIGo 's point about not paying her off unless you must but it might help to get everything over with to pay her notice without arguing. Again, people with more HR experience can advise. Sounds as though she has twigged that the game is up though by not coming in today.

ChristinedePizan · 20/09/2011 09:09

Yes, I would do as EightiesChick suggests - go to the employment section, there are usually a couple of HR bods around in there who will be able to help.

I wouldn't pay her a month's notice either if you can get away with it, she's taking the piss big time.

What a total pita for you :(

Original poster

oranges · 20/09/2011 09:17

Thank you. I've started a thread in employment over here
Am really upset - dh's company is doign redundancies and I've just come back from maternity leave. Neither of us can afford this hassle really.

OP posts:

MustControlFistOfDeath · 20/09/2011 09:22

You will also need to calculate her holiday entitlement (pro rata) and pay any outstanding holidays not taken on top of her notice pay.

Call ACAS on 08457 47 47 47, they are very helpful.

WineOhWhy · 20/09/2011 09:41

I have had 2 nannies, 1 for 3 years and 1 for 4. The current one has not had a single sick day. The first one did not have a single sick day in the first 2.5 years and then started to have the odd sick day towards the end when her heart was no longer really in the job. I tihnk she probably was a little ill on the days in question, but not ill enough that it would have stopped her comng in in the past. Not all nannies are like yours!

I work in a company with a large (and very risk averse) HR department, and in my department we have (with their blessing) disciplined 2 people for sickness record. In one case, they noticed the days off always fell on a Friday and Monday and on 2 occasions she had been refused the time off becuase too many other people had already booked off the day. It was quite difficult for her to get a new job becuase her sickness record shown on her reference showed 11 days off in 1 year (she was not sacked just given a written warning and sent to occ health but wanted to leave because she felt quite hard done by). I would mention to your nanny that her sickness record will look bad on any reference.

Obviously if someone has something serious which causes them to be off for a block of 7 days in 6 months, that it fine and not something to discipline for, but 7 sick days here and there in 6 months for different reasons is just not normal and I think she would have no recourse if you gave her a warning and told her that she has to improve. If she is often late, you should also discipline for that.

DO you pay for days off sick (cant remeber position on stat sick leave)?

eurycantha · 20/09/2011 09:45

She s off with a TEMPERATURE Parents have a nanny to make their life easier this nanny is stressing you out so you have to let her go.I,m a nanny and as others have said We do go into work even when off colour and just take it easy.

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