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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Nanny asks for day off, is refused, and calls in sick anyway

153 replies

oranges · 19/09/2011 07:51

Our nanny asked for today off to greet her boyfriend when he gets back from holiday. I did try to accomodate her request but just couldn't. But her sister has now texted me to say she's not coming in. I have no choice but to believe her but it looks fishy. Can or should I say something? She calls in sick quite often and I've never said anything before than get well soon. And we give loads annual leave- 8 weeks a year, just on the understanding that it's taken at a time that suits us. I have also always said yes before for requests for time off, even if IRS inconvenient but today is really, really tough. Am wondering if we should look at nurseries instead.

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Original poster

oranges · 19/09/2011 13:20

thank you for all your advice. I'm calling round nurseries and will look for alternative childcare too. I dont think she grasps that she gets paid a premium for NOT causing childcare problems.

OP posts:

stepmad · 19/09/2011 13:31

I have worked as a nanny for 22 years touch wood never had a day off sick and yes i do get ill usually over a weekend or holiday. I use pain killers maybe let the children watch a DVD i have my version of ready meals in the freezer. Yes a nanny will get sick after all children are so kind when it comes to sharing their germs and my current charges are no exception to that. You need child care that is there

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 19/09/2011 13:43

oranges - i think she is taking the piss too. FWIW (and it's too late by the sounds of it), you can set an absence management policy for her. you can't help it if people get sick, but you do need to be able to discipline them for taking the mick. in my previous job, if your sick level reached a certain level, you were given a warning. then if you continued, another warning. and at that point it was no more sick days in 3 months. tough, really, if you got d+v but by that stage it was too late for mercy. so you had to come in and if you really were sick, you might get sent home. but to be honest, that never happened. the people who were persistent sickness offenders and ended up on warnings never actually came in ill if they claimed to be 'ill'.

wrinklyraisin · 19/09/2011 14:16

I've got the dreaded lurgy and have been ill for over 2 weeks. Have yet to cause my bosses any inconvenience. Although according to my ever-so-considerate DB I "sound like hell" and need to sort myself out!

OP your nanny is taking the mickey. A nanny is paid to make your lives easier. Unless I'm vomiting I will work. I would fire your nanny and get someone with a true commitment to their job.

warthog · 19/09/2011 14:23

taking the piss.

there are really good nannies out there who aren't sick at the drop of a hat / change in the weather. i would be giving her notice now, and start looking for someone else.

HattiFattner · 19/09/2011 14:27

I think its time to lay down the law and tell her that you employ her and pay over the odds (8 weeks hols!) to be available, and right now, with her absences, you think a nursery and an aupair would be more cost effective and convenient than her one day illnesses when she cant take leave when she wants.

Labour the point about how the whole family was inconvenienced by her one day illness that coincided with her requested day off to spend with the boyfriend. Tell her you are actively considering alternatives as clearly she doesnt value the cushy number she has.

And then actively start considering alternatives. She is taking the piss. You know it and she knows it and now you have to let her know that you know - IYSWIM?

ChristinedePizan · 19/09/2011 14:55

This is her third day off sick because of a change in the weather? What's she going to be like when it gets really cold?

Yep, definitely get rid.

MirandaWest · 19/09/2011 14:58

She is taking the piss. What change in the weather is she talking about? It is September (admittedly not particularly nice September) but it is neither freezing nor boiling. And asking for the day off, not being given it and then taking the day off sick and getting her sister to text is just silly really.

nannynick · 19/09/2011 17:27

She only works 3 days a week for you. If she's been with you around 6 months and has had 7 days off, then I think that's around 8.3% of time off.

It sounds high. I would wonder if there was an underlying reason for the amount of absence.

I feel you need to decide if it's worth continuing with employing this particular nanny. I feel you are right to look into other childcare options, so that if you decide to not continue with this particular nanny then you know what other childcare options are available.

Have all the days sick so far been individual days - rather than a block of days (such as what might occur with a bad illness, broken bones)?

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/09/2011 18:24

she is seriously taking the piss - wants a day off to spend with her bf - wtf?

you say you have had issues with her time keeping and being reliable - as well as 7 days off in 6 months

get rid of her and find a nanny who will not take the piss

also to have her sister text seems weird and tbh very unprofessional

sorry to hear about your fil :(

Original poster

oranges · 19/09/2011 18:25

Most of the days have been single days and on one occasion it was two days in a row. She's been late quite a few times too, and I've spoken to her about that. I think the problem stems from the fact that both dh and I have erratic working patterns (which is why nursery is so tricky) so it appears we are home or starting work later than normal, so she thinks it doesn't matter if her hours vary too.
She says she gets heavy period pains and sometimes just feels totally exhausted, but those are weird, non specific problems. I think her other employer may just say nothing, as she is on maternity leave right now. ANd she used to work in a nursery - she says they understoood that she got worn out at times. I did say to her today that its a different situation when you work for one family.
I thought sick pay was covered by statutory sick pay legislation? So she gets paid for 5 days in a row and them its covered y ssp?

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/09/2011 18:35

i thought ssp didnt kick in for 3 days and unless you have given her sick pay (as i have in my contract) then every time she has an odd day off she shouldnt /wouldnt get paid - unless you decide to out of kindness of your heart iyswim

regardless if you/dh leave the house later or not, your nanny has a start time of 7.30/8am etc and should be there every day at that time

GeraldineAubergine · 19/09/2011 19:10

I thought if you were on mat leave from one employer you couldn't work for another at the same time? I might be completely wrong though. I know in my job you cant.

PattySimcox · 19/09/2011 19:10

It gets worse - she has worked for you for 6 months - but only 3 days a week and has been sick for 7 days?She is so taking the piss.

sneakybeak · 19/09/2011 19:18

I have skimmed this thread... I'm pretty sure she has texted from her boyfriends phone. Unless you know her sisters number? If it's a number unknown to you, you could withold yours, see who answers and say you were calling to enquire about her health. see if you can catch her out.

She's definitely taking the piss though. I've had to manage someones sickness at work. Really difficult but agreed a goal for her to achieve. So far so good.

TheOriginalFAB · 19/09/2011 19:26

Definitely time to get rid. In 10 years of nannying I had one day off sick. I would never call in sick when I wasn't as I knew that was at least 2 parents who couldn't go to work. (I worked for more than 1 family). I went in to work when not 100% as it would have caused issues for the parents.

This nanny's body can't cope with the change in whether . How old is she? 99?

Original poster

oranges · 19/09/2011 19:27

No my nanny isn't on maternity leave - her other employer who employs her two days a week, is. Sneakybeak - how did you manage a goal for her to achieve? I'm still stumped on how to deal with someone if they say they are sick - you can't insist they drag themselves in regardless. I could not pay her, but it still leaves us in the lurch.

OP posts:

Original poster

oranges · 19/09/2011 19:29

The sister ting is weird, isn't it? When I asked her about it, she said she was so frantic her sister did it for her. I then said that calling us direct should be her priority. God, this sounds hopeless doesn't it? I am dithering as a)I know she is trying to claw herself out of quite a desperate family situation and I want her to succeed and b)she quit a nursery job to work for us so weirldy I feel responsible for taking away her other easier employment option.

OP posts:

sneakybeak · 19/09/2011 19:37

The person I was managing had 11 different types of sickness in the last year

We agreed that we wouldn't expect any sickness that was 'self certified', and only one episode of more than a week (certified by GP). It's difficult as she suffers depression, had a car crash, which set off her labarythitis...

We met with her, put it in writing and did a referral to Occ Health to let her know that we wanted to support her, but the service was being affected by her illness.

(Obvioulsy!) This is NHS, so we have policies/procedures, and I appreciate you won't have that.

DOn't feel guilty you poached her. She's an adult and has free will.

nannynick · 19/09/2011 19:38

Is age a factor? Can't imagine so as regardless of age, everyone who wants to keep a job makes sure they arrive on time - don't they?

Nursery were ok with it - I find that hard to believe as any employer would not be happy about an employee regularly not turning up on time for work.

Sounds like her general work ethic is wrong... does she really think turning up late for work is ok, just because she is feeling rough, had a hard night etc?

sneakybeak · 19/09/2011 19:38

Oh the agreement for the above was set for the next 3 months, with a review date in the diary.

Original poster

oranges · 19/09/2011 19:41

She is young - 23 - and does have a work ethic, but she takes on too much, and doesn't appreciate that we are her main employers and pay her main wage so should take priority.

OP posts:

nannynick · 19/09/2011 19:43

It was her choice to leave nursery. She is preumably an adult and can make her own choices.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/09/2011 19:51

agree with nick, you cant feel guilty that she decided to leave the nursery to no doubt earn more per hour with you (unless you are paying nmw)

she is a liability

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 19/09/2011 20:48

OP - if you want to deal with her sickness, you have to take a really hard line. i know you feel like you can't legislate for sickness, but really this is unacceptable. if you don't want to just fire her, then you need to set out your expectations in respect of her attendance, punctuality etc. and that means you will have to explain that, any more days sick and she will be out on her ear. i know it sounds harsh to you, but in many companies (and very large companies at that, without the single point of dependency that you have in your employee), it is common practice. people get fired for having too many days off sick. it happens all the time. unless she has a chronic illness, such as depression or some other recurring issue which she could claim was aggravated by the stress of her job (hmmm...), then it really is pretty straight forward.

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