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Original poster

It's the nanny's word vs my daughter's... WWYD?

115 replies

VentiPeppermintMochaWithWhip · 26/04/2011 21:09

Kids and I were upstairs getting ready for bed tonight and I got hairbrush and blow dryer out to do her hair when DD asked where I found my brush. I said it was in my bag, why? She said our nanny was looking for it to dry her hair today after her shower...
WTF?!?!
Now usually, DD is a super rubbish liar... She'll start smiling and then giggling as soon as I get serious, but she held face and I made her swear that she wasn't lying. She was able to answer my questions (yes, nanny used my ensuite. no, daddy wasn't home. yes, she was sure) So with that said, several issues come to mind...
-Do I believe DD and ask nanny if she took a shower?
-If so, who was looking after the kids whilst she was in the shower? They are 5 and 6, but still...
-Why did she shower here and not at home?
-Why didn't she tell me when I got home? What was the reason for the dishonesty?
OMG!!

What do I do now?

OP posts:
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Laquitar · 27/04/2011 17:13

Oh just read chipping's post. Maybe.....

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 27/04/2011 17:19

Initially when I read Venti's OP I thought she didn't trust her husband (asking her DD if Daddy was home - was she SURE Daddy wasn't home) but then I thought maybe she was worried the kids had been left alone while she showered, more than she was worried about Daddy & the Nanny...

Who knows, the Nanny could have showered in the afternoon after her DH had left...

All I know is if there are 3 bathrooms, it's odd to choose the en-suite unless you are there with the DH (or you are a numpty who can't turn on the other shower Grin).

I would be checking phone bills, email accounts etc...

Original poster
VentiPeppermintMochaWithWhip · 27/04/2011 17:25

Yes, DC were outside whilst she was either in the sitting room or sitting on the porch reading a book

DH didn't say anything one way or the other...

OP posts:
nannynick · 27/04/2011 17:41

Is DC playing in the street like DC playing in the garden? Where I grew up we lived in a quiet street and didn't really have much of a garden, so children playing out in the street was common - all the children would sort of look after each other, getting adult help if/when needed. So nanny may not have needed to supervise that play - children don't need constant attention, good for them to learn to play with other children without adult intervention.

Odd to choose to use an en-suite, when other bathroom has a shower. Better shower perhaps?

LoopyLoopsNincompoop · 27/04/2011 17:56

How would she know if it has a better shower?

blueshoes · 27/04/2011 19:17

There is no obvious need for the nanny to be showering at all in the morning. The children were playing outside, the nanny was not with them to get hot. You don't get dirty reading a book.

Venti, perhaps you could voice all these issues with your dh (in the same way you have asked us) in a "I am sort of puzzled" way. I would watch his reaction very carefully. Perhaps test this further with 'is she the right nanny for us' - again, watch his reaction.

Like Chipping, I would be checking phone bills etc and keep closer mental tabs on his whereabouts. If anything untoward has happened, it would be pretty brazen. I hope not.

Does the nanny have a partner?

drinkyourmilk · 27/04/2011 22:33

Is nobody else thinking she just couldnt be bothered to get up early enough to shower that morning and so showered at work when she realised she looked a bit grotty? Also that she used the ensuite because all the nice toiletries were in there and (wrongly) wanted to use those?

midlandsnightnannybabysitter · 27/04/2011 23:23

I think the shower is prob explainable, but I wouldnt be happy with anyone using my hair brush!

MGMidget · 28/04/2011 00:04

I would be a bit put out that the nanny had left my kids to play on the street unsupervised whilst she took a shower on my paid time. Fine if she needed one owing to vomit or grubby activities with the children but that doesn't seem to be the case. Taking a shower because she didn't get time at home before coming to work wouldn't be acceptable to me, especially when she supposed to be supervising/playing with the children. And yes, using the ensuite would feel like a bit of an intrusion when there were alternatives. I would believe your child, including the bit about the hairbrush because of the way they reported it. I doubt if the nanny was looking for her own hairbrush your child would have reported things the way they did.

Tarenath · 28/04/2011 09:13

"I would be a bit put out that the nanny had left my kids to play on the street unsupervised whilst she took a shower on my paid time."

I would be a concerned about this too. My eldest charge is 5 and I would never leave him to play alone outside. Are your kids back at school? If not then did they spend the entire day either playing outside unsupervised, or sitting in front of the tv? Hmm

nannyl · 28/04/2011 09:47

so would I

wouldnt be leaving a 5 year old in the street either.... as a nanny, OR my own child!

MGMidget · 28/04/2011 11:36

Yes, in our street I would be furious if a nanny left my children to play out there on their own because its not safe. Venti, I assume by the relatively relaxed nature of your comments that your street is a bit safer. Nevertheless the fact that the nanny is being paid to work means she not doing her job if she's leaving the kids out on the street on their own. I think I would probably discuss this with your DH - e.g. by asking was he there when they were playing on the street, did she ask him if it was OK? His reaction might also help you establish if something odd was going on.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 28/04/2011 12:18

I don't think it's for anyone else to comment on the nanny allowing the children to play outside - that's between Venti & Nanny. Here it's perfectly safe for the kids to be outside on their own and I wouldn't expect a nanny to be sat out there like a lemon while they play with their friends.

taranath - you should know better than to judge another nanny like that - you have no idea what else her and the children did all day. Even if they did play out all day and watch some TV what business is it of yours and why the Hmm kids that are taken out and entertained all day every day are a pain in the arse because they never learn to amuse themselves. She's a nanny not a bloody entertainment unit.

mindermummy · 28/04/2011 16:39

Interesting thread.....i was a nanny years ago.
If i was going to use the shower i would of always asked...and know they would of said yes anyway.

Sounds slightly suspicious.

If she intended to use the shower (ie knew she was going to need it in the day,.....souldnt she of bought a bag of stuff with her??? )...so maybe it was a need to quickly. Maybe she suddenly planned to go out from work???

You need to ask her.

xx

Original poster
VentiPeppermintMochaWithWhip · 28/04/2011 18:52

Hello again everyone...

I still haven't asked Nanny about the shower because, as I've mentioned before, we now don't need her until next week.

I totally trust DH and when I brought it up, he had no reaction whatsoever... I have full access to his phone, etc but don't feel the need to look as I just know he doesn't have the time and can't really be that bothered with all the hassle. He works looooooads, too.

Additionally, our nanny is like 2 months up the duff and totally infatuated with the father of her baby (which is her ex boyfriend from last year BTW). I honestly don't think the nanny could handle it if my DH put the moves on her...

Thinking about it now is making me chuckle.

lol

OP posts:
ohnoshedittant · 28/04/2011 20:43

This is such a weird thread!

I'd just ask the nanny what happened.....it would save all this speculating from a group of people who don't know you, your nanny, your DH, your DD, the street where you live or what the shower set up in your house is! All of which is prob important information before commenting on whether the nanny's actions were acceptable or not.

harrietthespook · 28/04/2011 23:59

This is a weird thread I agree. BUT OP seems totally chilled and happy so I can't see any point in getting ourselves - sorry me - worked up about getting to the bottom of it all.

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs · 29/04/2011 00:08

so shes pregnant, maybe she needed to freshen up, maybe she didnt get a chance to shower before running to work, maybe she was sick.

But OMG its a bloodly shower, its hardly like she has stolen your stuff, slept in your bed, or been abusive, get over it!!

giraffesCantDanceAtWeddings · 29/04/2011 00:54

Id think she had slept in and come without showering and was maybe going to see someone after work who she wanted to look nice for.

Or some pregnancy related thing - morning sickness...sicked in her hair?!

nannyl · 29/04/2011 09:08

perhaps at 8 weeks pg she is just soooooo tired she goes home and sleeps until its time to get up fpr work?

I was signed off from 7 weeks (with HG) but was sooo tired too, im sure i simply could NOT have done a normal nannying day either.

She probably felt crap, maybe had vomited in her hair, and just wanted to freshen up.

still didnt need to use your ensuite, but it does seem to make much more sense, and id be pleased that she is at work and not signed off tbh, which im sure would be every inconvienant for you too.

Nice to see how you trust your DH.... so many people seem to assume nannies want DB / DB wants nanny, but i have never ever had any sort of issue with it either.

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/04/2011 15:14

i have showered at work many times, either as been thrown up on(always have spare clothes in car)

or as going out in the evening after work

i also use mb ensuite,as the shower there is nicer, and the shower leaks in the kids bathroom

i wouldnt be happy that the nanny leaves the children outside alone to play in the street, but i have left mine alone in the garden as all secure

when i do shower, the kids are in the house.normally watching tv so i know they are safe

i would just ask her

ilythia · 30/04/2011 16:20

At 2 months pg it's not beyond the realms of possibiity that she was sick on herself and so wanted a shower to clean up.

TheHamish · 04/05/2011 10:09

Any news on this? Have you approached the nanny?

cumbria81 · 04/05/2011 10:40

I can't believe I have checked back in for progress on this ridiculous thread... (but I do want to know!) Update please!

mindermummy · 05/05/2011 16:50

yes me too!!! lol

What did the nanny say?

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