It's the nanny's word vs my daughter's... WWYD?

[VentiPeppermintMochaWithWhip]

Kids and I were upstairs getting ready for bed tonight and I got hairbrush and blow dryer out to do her hair when DD asked where I found my brush. I said it was in my bag, why? She said our nanny was looking for it to dry her hair today after her shower...
WTF?!?!
Now usually, DD is a super rubbish liar... She'll start smiling and then giggling as soon as I get serious, but she held face and I made her swear that she wasn't lying. She was able to answer my questions (yes, nanny used my ensuite. no, daddy wasn't home. yes, she was sure) So with that said, several issues come to mind...
-Do I believe DD and ask nanny if she took a shower?
-If so, who was looking after the kids whilst she was in the shower? They are 5 and 6, but still...
-Why did she shower here and not at home?
-Why didn't she tell me when I got home? What was the reason for the dishonesty?
OMG!!

What do I do now?

That's not getting sweaty in the course of your work though is it? Like I said, all the offices I've worked in have had showers, what a shame your employer doesn't provide those kind of facilities for their employees.

As an employer I certainly don't provide a shower for the use of my nanny.

If she saw it as a requirement of her job then I would expect her to raise it in advance.

Otherwise she would be straying into the territory of grating my home as if it is hers, which is most certainly not. It is her place of employment.

Fortuntely I have been lucky not to employ anyone with such odd ideas.

"treating" not "grating "

crumpet - no I expect they deal with it in the best way they can at the time - so the nanny should do the same even though there's a shower available just because you'd have to?

Do you put your bosses rubbish out if they've forgotten?
Do you peg out our bosses washing because it's there?
Do you nip to the shops to pick up something for your bosses dinner?
Do you collect their drycleaning/take something to the postoffice?

There's just no point in comparing what a nanny will do with what an office worker will do... or what is 'normal' at work. Just no point.

Christ, it was a shower. I could understand if she had been laid in your bed using your rabbit!

Nannies don't get a lunch hour, so can't go for a run.
A nanny doesn't really get any time off during the day, so unlike other types of worker can't have time to take a shower. Though if children are all at school, then it may be possible then.

It's always possible that the 5 / 6 year old has become a good liar. We don't know for sure yet that the nanny even did have a shower, or was looking for a particular hairbrush. The OP has not come back to tell us what the nanny has said when asked about it.

I would do all of those things if it had been made clear to me in advance, yes.

I have to admit I am slightly wondering if one issue is the DH could have walked in on nanny naked during the course of said shower in the honeymoon suite.

(OP, still on your side it's weird on balance though. )

OP, if this doesn't bring you back, nothing will.

Just to be clear, I would have absolutely no issue whatsoever with our nanny using our shower (or my hairbrush, come to that, although I gather from this thread that I might be a bit manky odd in that respect). And I wouldn't expect her to ask my permission first. I would expect anyone in my house to tell me if they'd used the ensuite, after the event, just out of courtesy. I would certainly tell my PIL if I had used their shower/bath while they were out, just in case they needed to, say, put the immersion on for hot water later.

I don't expect our nanny to put our rubbish out, or hang up our washing, or do shopping for me, or go to the post office. In fact (with the exception of the rubbish, obv), I've done all of those things for her - because it's no trouble for me to hang out the DCs washing or take it in again when I get home from work, and I'd much rather she spent her time playing with the DCs.

And yes, my commute isn't part of my job, but it is an inevitable outcome of my job being located where it is. If all 1,500 employees in London demanded a shower every workday in Summer then the company would grind to a halt!

Cinnabar - I was just trying to point out that a nanny will often do things around the house (that aren't part of her contract) simply because she's there - to illustrate the point crumpet was trying to make about how the nanny shouldn't treat the house as though it was her own, when it suits the parents, but not always in reverse.

A nanny will do different things to someone working in an office and to say 'I work in an office and don't shower there so the nanny shouldn't in her place of work' is just too simplistic.

Chipping, I agree with you.

I wasn't saying that our nanny (or any nanny, come to that) shouldn't shower if she needs to in her place of work. Of course she should. I was simply making the point that other employees also get sweaty/dirty during the course of their normal day. Whether we should also shower is, of course, a separate point.

I'm going to leave this thread now - I'm coming across as chippy when all I wanted to say was that the OP's nanny didn't do anything I would find in any way upsetting or contoversial from our nanny.

Cinnabar - I think we keep talking at cross purposes! I was just explaining why I'd said about those other jobs to crumpet. I realise that you wouldn't have a problem with your nanny using the shower. The only thing I said that was aimed at you was about the nanny putting it in the Nanny Diary

Don't go - we need 'voices of reason' [cgrin]

[cgrin]

Out of interest, why do you hate nanny diaries?

As a nanny I once used the en-suite because I couldn't work out how to turn the shower in the other bathrooms on. Had got muddy walking the do with the children and didn't want to wait for the rest of the day for a shower. At the time was L/O and working a 45min drive away 7am-7pm.

Apologize for my late reply, and thank you for all your views, very valuable! =-D

As of yet, I've not asked nanny as we don't need her now until next week. We have three bathrooms in our house, one downstairs, one family bathroom with both a shower and bath upstairs, and then our ensuite. All doors have a lock.

I asked her to be at our house yesterday morning at 8am... I left at 6am, and DH was meant to leave then... but he didn't until 11am... I asked DD and DS about their activities, and they said they just played with the other children on our street outside and then came inside with nanny to watch telly. I confirmed that nanny was not outside playing with kids. The kids themselves weren't that dirty. I asked DD why nanny showered and she said she didn't know. Nanny had no change of clothes, no bag she could/would keep them in and she doesn't drive, so they couldn't be in there.

Hmmm...

She's back! She was inside the house while your DCs were outside?

What does your DH say?

I (these days) have a suspicious mind... DH home when he wasn't meant to be, nanny in the en-suite shower... kids outside playing...

Has anything else happened that has made you think

so the husband fucked the nanny - while the kids were there - and the shower was her washing the semen away?

Bet you never considered that turn of events eh OP?

That puts a completely different light on matters. I'm with Chipping - it doesn't sounds great.

Lol!

My thoughts exactly, Chipping!

How do you know what time your DH left if you had already gone to work?

Did she bring her boyfriend and needed to freshen up afterwards?

The shower is not big deal (maybe she had to go somewhere after work) but why the en-suit? Was any water on the floor? Wet towels?

Not really a LOL'ing thread now.

Laquitar soyfriend maybe an unfortunate turn of phrase here.