So annoyed - bosses are so tight!!

[NorthernNanny]

I spent a day with my new charge and her mum last week to get her used to me and finalise a few things before I start properly next week.

I let MB know in the interview that the going charge is 40p per mile for petrol, going up to 45p as of tomorrow, she turned around last week and said that they wouldn't be paying me any more than 30p per mile, yet she's been saying she wants me to take the little girl (14months) to certain places which are miles away.

THEN at lunchtime she asked if I'd bought lunch with me, I said no and she looked SO put out - I felt really uncomfortable, apologised and said I could pop to the shops and buy my own lunch, she said ok at first and then said "it's fine, i'll give you a sandwich today but from now on, i'd expect you to bring your own lunch" - MB isnt going back to work until May and will be with me and charge until then - again, I only found this out last week and am not particularly happy about it - she will be making lunch for herself, I really don't see what harm a sandwich could do?!

In interview, I told her how much money I would be looking for - they managed to knock me down by £1 an hour - a lot less that I wanted but the days and hours are perfect for me and I thought that, after a year I could always ask for more.

It just really upset me that I'm going to give her daughter the best care possible and all this is making me feel like cheap labour - I agreed to a large drop in pay and they just seem to be taking the mickey a bit.

Sorry it's a long one but would love to hear from anyone with any thoughts on this. Thank you.

You should run away. She obviously is not an experienced nanny employer or she would have expected to feed you (or at least provide the food). And i don't think 30p per mile will cover your petrol. So, if I were you, I don't think I'd volunteer the use of my car.

These are not people who are going to increase your salary by a £1 per hour in a year's time. It is unconventional not to offer you some lunch. The 40p per mile charges are pretty standard too - I'm sure there are websites out there you could direct her to which indicate these are standard business charges.

Is there any chance that your initial p/h quote for the job was above market rates for the area or your experience? Whether you bother to point any of the above out to her, rather than just walk away and let her learn the hard way that her attitude isn't right, depends (for me anyway) on this question. If you think it may have been, it might be worth trying to restart the relationship by talking to her about the other stuff given that the schedule really suits you.

If you think it was entirely fair and that you are now in fact working for less than the market norms etc I would not continue with this family.

I thought it was very odd that my nanny wanted me to provide lunch for her, my previous one didn't expect it and i wouldn't expect to be provided with lunch in a job I had. However, as she pointed out nannies don't get a lunch break - fair point! You can't really nip out and get a sandwich.

I don't think that 30p a mile will cover your petrol either and certainly won't cover wear and tear on your car.

I'd bring the issue of petrol up again and if she won't budge then look for another position, something else with great hours etc will come along soon

If you were happy the 30p a mile wouldn't be a huge thing. You can claim the difference from the taxman.

But the not feeding you at lunch and bargaining down your salary, by potentially £50 a week, does inducate that they're either very inexperienced, haven't researched things and are stretching themselves to afford a nanny or that they're very money-conscious. Either way I doubt they'll give you a rise! Especially not of £1/hour (gross or net incidentally?).

What are your arrangements for kitty expenses?

Thank you for all of your responses so far, I did mention a kitty to her and she didnt seem too sure about it, I explained it would be for arts and crafts bits and bobs, nothing too expensive and she said she could provide a small amount each week but that she'd want receipts for everything - which I said absolutely, of course. As for them having to stretch themselves - they're absolutely loaded, DB owns his own business and MB has a VERY well paid job.

at the lunch issue and her attitude! I think you better find another job.
You will probably have problems with them and not only money related issues. She doesn't sound very nice person.

I would start looking looking around for another job - they don't sound very nice people - how mean over lunch and not to pay 40p per mile (especially with the cost of fuel and insurance these days)

The only thing you can rely on is the question of whether what you're being paid is the market rate for the area, and whether what you're asking for in mileage and the kitty is standard for the role or not, not what it 'appears' they can afford.

It sounds like she's got her back up for some reason. They could well be having some financial pressure she can't/doesn't want to disclose.

Just tell her wrt the kitty, it's to cover activities you do with the children - either things she asks you to take the child to or activities that you plan. She can either get a load of stuff in or you can pay for it and leave receipts - it's her choice.

It also sounds like she needs a reality check. I'm assuming you're her first nanny?

Run.

Tight people are a fucking nightmare.

Is she going to pay tax and NI? Are you sure?

Sounds like she wants an au-pair! Cheap and willing. I would try and find another employer, but the 30p a mile is a joke and she had the cheek to knock you back £1!
Watch out she does not expect you to do lots of other chores that are not related to childcare.
You need to value yourself better.

It sounds like it might be teething problems - bear in mind that if they have never had a nanny before then it is a huge outgoing to adjust to (and just because they appear well-off doesn't mean they actually have any disposable income to speak of - you should be wary of making assumptions).

Not sure what I would do about the lunch thing - maybe point out that if you have to bring your own lunch (as opposed to making something for both LO and yourself) you could reasonably expect to have a lunch hour to eat it in - which is clearly not going to happen. On the petrol thing it would be a straight "that is the going rate. If you don't want to pay that, it's fine, but it means I won't be using my car to go anywhere with LO".

If the job works in terms of hours, etc then I would think it is worth another try - if this does in fact turn out to be indicative of their attitude and not just them adjusting to new nanny-employer status, then give notice.

As Clarnico said, make SURE she is paying NI and tax! Rich tight people are the worst of all!

If you were happy the 30p a mile wouldn't be a huge thing. You can claim the difference from the taxman.

I don't think you claim the difference. If I read it right, you can claim the difference in tax, so presuming a lower rate tax payer than it's 20% of the difference.

HMRC: Mileage says Tax Relief, not a refund.

This info from HMRC says "your employee will be able to get tax relief (called Mileage Allowance Relief, or MAR) on the unused balance of the approved amount"

P87 would be the form to use for making a claim. Having just looked at it, it has not yet been updated for new the 45p figure.

I'm not an accountant but this is how I currently read it. In the past I may think I interpreted this differently but having read around the subject a bit I now feel it's relief of the tax element, not the mileage rate itself.

I'm glad it's not just me - thank you for your supportive comments. Yes, I'm their first nanny and the wage I asked for was average for the area/ my experience and qualifications - I did my research beforehand. I'm just a bit worried of what potential employers would think if I told them I was looking for another nanny job, and leaving this one almost straight away.

receipts for everything - that will be fun... dear toddler group tin, please give me a receipt for that £2 I just put in your slot.

I would wonder what has got her back up - have you had to complete any payroll paperwork, such as a P46? Did you agree a Gross salary?

As for them having to stretch themselves - they're absolutely loaded
You surely don't know details of their financial situation - you have no idea how much debt they may have, or the business has.

The lunch thing seems particularly mean and unfriendly, especially as food on duty is absolutely standard in nannying.

I also think that although they seem well-off, it sounds like they are over-stretching themselves to afford you. It could be a nightmare, late pay, bounced cheques etc.

If you're leaving within your probation period just tell future employers that you weren't a good fit.

I claimed back my business mileage from 1 job and it seemed to be the full amount which came back. I can't remember whether it was because it took about 2 years to process and I'd half forgotten I'd claimed but it seemed a lot! They did send me a nice letter which multiplied miles claimed by 40p and subtracted that figure from my total earnings but I don't think I cared how they'd done the calculation at the time given that they were sending me cash!

As long as you haven't made a habit of leaving jobs quickly, then one short job wouldn't be an issue, IMHO - you can explain that they were not adjusted to being nanny-employers and that you couldn't deal with it.

(but I would be inclined to give them a chance - and please don't assume that they are "loaded" and that money is no object)

If you're their first nanny then they'd probably not be aware of normal arrangements with food and so forth. And lets face it nannying is pretty unusual in that some food is often provided - I couldn't expect my employer to give me a sandwich.

For the mileage it may be worth working out the cost of petrol per mile and then having an honest conversation about what running the child around will cost you and how you can't be out of pocket. At the same time you could also run through what is normal re food and expenses. Ultimately they are your employer here and just because certain things would be normal with others doesn't mean they have to.

But in terms of how much you perceive they make, frankly it is neither here nor there.

But the HMRC set the mileage rate and it's 40p/mile for using your own car. If they aren't prepared to pay you that, then why should you use your car to ferry their child around?

I understand I shouldn't have just assumed they had a lot of money - that was wrong on my part. However, the thing that has annoyed me is the fact that they should've checked all of this out before they employed a nanny and not gone into it blindly. As it is, they didn't check these basic things and so I'm expected to cop for all the excesses i.e lunch, petrol - and there seems to be no flexibility on this - I mentioned it and got a 'well, that's what's happening, get on with it' type of attitude.

OP - playing devil's advocate you could say that you should have checked out you were both on the same page on these points with them before accepting the position. Particularly given that you?ve presumably nannied before.

I do understand your frustration though.

This sounds like hassle from start to finish. Wealthy people typically lack 2 things: Time and patience. Your NI contributions will not be paid and you will regret taking the appointment -plus you will feel unprofessional from walking away due to basic economics.

You may also need to check out your car insurance policy.... 'business use' costs more.... and if you have a prang with the child, they will crucify you if it's not 100% perfect.

Walk. We're in one of the greatest recessions since the late 1920's, no one is a walking charity case..... "fair pay for a fair day's wage"....

I presume you would be cooking lunch for the child, so how would your boss know if you cooked enough for you and their child?

Nannying in my view can often involve a bit of give and take on both sides. Sticking to things rigidly I don't feel works that well - nanny won't use the dishwasher because it has their bosses coffee mug in it, only doing child's washing when there is space in the machine for some adult items as well (if parents don't mind them washed at the same time).

"Walk. We're in one of the greatest recessions since the late 1920's, no one is a walking charity case..... "

The OP should look for another job by all means if she is unhappy but given the recession I'd hardly think just walking out is a good idea.