Support thread for those of us who are requesting an ELCS after a previous traumatic delivery

[withorwithoutyou]

Hello everyone.

I have noticed a lot of threads regarding requesting ELCS lately, probably because I am in the process of trying to request one myself!

I just wondered if it might be useful for us to have a support thread where we can talk this all through as I know it can be a challenging process to go through.

Can I please also ask in the nicest possible way that anybody contributing to this thread can respect our desire for ELCS over VB? Thank you!

Anyway, I'll start - I have one DD, born 20 months ago by forceps after failed ventouse. She weighed 9 pounds 11 and I am concerned this one will be heavier! I am 30 weeks and have my first consultants appt tomorrow where I will be requesting an ELCS!

I'm really glad the picking the baby up question has been asked as that's been playing on my mind a bit. Encouraging to hear how quickly you could all do it.

I've bought a bedside cot this time after unintentionally ending up co-sleeping with DD who would only breastfeed back to sleep and wake when I tried to put her back in her crib. Also have memories of struggling to get her in the crib for at least a week after the episiotomy last time.

Stinky - I have a mybrestfiend pillow which I didn't get on great with last time but sounds like it could be very useful post c-s so I will take it in with me if you think it's worth doing.

Can I ask you about the support belt as that's something I've been wondering about getting. Which one do you have? Is it the Theraline one and are they worth buying do you think?

Seriously, you will be surprised at how little pain there is after an elCS and how quickly you will be mobile.

After the CS, I asked doctor "THIS is the pain you've been warning me against when I asked for elCS?" and he said "Well, I had to try to deter you" then jokingly said "I forbid you to tell your friends how much easier a CS is".

I can't remember anybody helping me to pick dd up after my emcs but somebody must have done, for the first few hours anyway? I was in one of those beds that goes up and down and the back tilts too, so it was quite easy to manouevre myself around after a little while and pick her up. My recovery really wasn't too bad, I had my own room and bathroom (am not in the UK) - it's standard here after a cs - which helped recovery quite a lot I think.

Once home dd was in a bassinet right next to the bed for the first couple of months so all I had to do was roll over and pick her up for night feeds. It was a bit awkward more than painful. I did learn to bf lying down which was bloody marvellous as there was no strain on my back or whatever and I got to rest while feeding her - lovely.

Everything I have heard/read seems to suggest recovery easier after an elec than an emergency cs.

Withorwithoutyou... the pillow worked for me initially, but now prefer to just hold her. It was great that there was no pressure on the wound in the early days.

I have a Theraline belt bought off ebay as bit pricy... but again worth a try. Useful for period pain too as there is a hot pad.

CoteDAzur I am glad your pain was so mild, but like labour pains it will be different for everyone.

Starting to feel quite jittery now. I'm just looking forward to the whole thing being over and it's too late to back out! Not that I really want to. I'm mainly dreading the hospital stay at the moment, and hoping and praying for a relatively quick recovery. Sigh, why do we put ourselves through it!

I'm fluctuating between excitement at meeting bean, relief that the pregnancy/birth is nearly over with and anxiety about how the recovery will be this time and how disabling it will be longterm.

It really helps to have this thread to witter on and know people understand the strong and conflicting emotions you are wrestling with daily

Stinky - thanks, will take the pillow into hospital with me then.

Ealey - I can totally understand you being nervous, only two days to go. Brilliant to think you'll have a newborn next week though

Lovethesea I really hope your recovery is fine this time and that you'll be up and about quite quickly.

I think I've been so caught up in the whole fighting for a c-section/should I shouldn't I have one thing that I have actually almost forgotten that there will be another little baby here soon. I really need to start getting organised.

I do feel a bit sad as I would really like a third (and final!) child but I'm not sure I could go through all this again. I actually can't believe I got pregnant again at all, but I think I had buried the memories of DD's birth so deeply I had convinced myself it would all be fine. It was only when I watched one born every minute at about 18 weeks that I remembered the reality of it all and it's been impossible to bury the memories every since.

Still, I might have a fantastic ELCS and want to repeat it all over again.

Hi all - hope it's ok for me to say Hi - slightly different circumstances for me but I am due to have an ELCS in about 4 weeks - I have severe fear of vaginal birth & this is our 1st baby after 4 years of trying & 3 miscarriages. My consultant was extremely understanding which I wasn't expecting but am so grateful for. I have also experienced bewildered attitudes and as odd as it sounds am relieved to have placenta previa which will require a C-sec anyway! At least I don't feel I have to explain myself to anyone anymore!

best of luck ealey

I just wanted to sneak on and say that after ds1 9lb 12oz - forceps
and
ds2 10lb 15oz - EMCS after getting stuck (me at 10cm for quite some time)

I will be begging/demanding a CS next time around

Thank you everyone. Feeling a bit better today, just want to get it over with now.

Hello OneBabyPlease, welcome to the thread. Congratulations on your pregnancy, I'm sorry it's been such a hard road for you to get here. It doesn't sound odd to me to be pleased to have placenta previa - I had a low lying placenta earlier in the pregnancy and hoped that it wouldn't move! Even when you know an ELCS is the best thing for you, I think it would still be nice to have the 'elective' bit removed and not have to make a choice. My baby has been lying transverse most of the weekend - I just wish it had done that at my scan a week ago so that my consultant would have ordered me to have the section rather than leaving it up to me! I'll be so happy once the baby is here and I never have to think about all this stuff ever again - no more babies for me!

What a nightmare for you Ninjacat, that was my worst fear this time around. I'm sure you'll be offered one next time (I'm full of awe at you still speaking of a 'next time' though!).

Ealey I also want the elcs over and done with now! Feel very nervous and unsure about my choice all of a sudden. Woke up before dawn this morning and could not go back to sleep!

Just think though - this time tommorrow we should be holding our newborns!

Good luck Ealey!

Me too - I've been awake since about 4am (which is really annoying knowing that I'll get no sleep in hospital for 2 or 3 nights)! I guess it's inevitable to feel wobbly just beforehand. I keep trying to ask myself would I feel better if I was going in to be induced tomorrow instead, and I think that would be worse. There's just something about walking in there in the cold light of day as a fixed appointment, it gives you too much time to brood on it. But yes, this time tomorrow it should all be worth it, and hopefully we'll both be home by the weekend and it will all be done. Good luck to you too, I'll be thinking of you!

(TMI, but I just did what I think should be my CS line and am now dreading the regrowth! )

Hello and welcome onebabyplease, sorry to hear how frightened you are of VB but it's great that you've had an understanding consultant.

I relate to what a lot of people are saying on this thread about almost wishing for a straightforward reason for having a CS that people won't argue with. It really is nobody's business though. If asked why I might have a c-s I just say "because of complications with my last birth".

People don't need to know any intimate details - be they pelvic floor problems, episiotomy issues, mental trauma or anything else and I think it's quite rude to ask such a personal question so I fob them off with something vague.

Anyway, enough of me rambling, I really came on to wish both of you Ealey and 30ish lots of luck for tomorrow, I hope it goes really well for you both with not too much hanging around and a quick recovery. If you get a chance (when you're not too busy ) come and let us know how you got on please!

ealey and 30ish just wanted to say good luck, I'm really very excited for you both and will be thinking of you tomorrow, wishing you both the best of luck for a speedy recovery

Good luck Ealey and 30ish - hope it all goes well for you both & thanks for the lovely welcome x

Oh, and welcome onebabyplease :-)

Thanks Mookle
Nice to find some like-minded people instead of those who think I'm some kind of wierdo!

Good luck ladies... hope you sleep tonight, although I doubt you will . When you are feeling nervous, remember this is what you want. Look forward to hearing all the juicy details!

Nice to have another like minded person on board onebabyplease.

Can I just share my irrational worry with the group ?

I had a large baby in DS (9lb 70z) and this has kind of been my justification in my own head for CS even though there are lots of other reasons for CS relating to vaginal damage etc, but everyone kind of expects me to have an even bigger baby this time and a lot keep saying "oh yes I bet it will be over 10lbs this time, no wonder you want a CS, very sensible" However, I am now getting terrified this baby is not going to be anywhere near as big. Got fundus measured last week and baby now measures 30 weeks at 31 weeks. Now I know these things aren't always accurate etc, but I just feel in myself this baby is not as big, and stupid as it seems, I'm worried what everyone will say/think if its born a tiddler! I know how daft it sounds but ts really bothering me! Help!

mookle - you will be so relieved the wee one is here and you are the other side of the elcs that you won't care what weight he is!

All anyone can do is go with the best guess and the last baby's weight is a big clue on that. The other truisms are that second babies are ususally a bit bigger and boys are usually a bit bigger than girls.

If people say 'Oh you didn't need a cs he/she was only 8 pounds' - have a phrase prepared; something mysterious maybe like 'Well, weight was only a small part of the reasoning' or 'There were always other factors involved; or 'Growth estimates are always an inaccurate science'.

You know you have very good reasons so don't be anvious about how you are perceived - if someone really annoys you then tell them every gory detail going to shut them up!

30ish and ealey - GOOD LUCK. So looking forward to hearing how you both got on. It will be over very soon. Anticipation is always worse than just doing it.

Mookle - weirdly enough I've kind of thought about that too. But I have managed to put a shocking amount of weight on in the last week and am now convinced I'm having another giant.

DD was 9 pounds 11 at 40+1, and if I get my section at 39 weeks this one will be born 9 days earlier than her. I think they say babies put on half a pound a week at the end, so that's about 10 pounds less it will be weigh than DD did just by being earlier.

Did you go overdue with your DS? If it's earlier and a DD (sorry, don't know if you know the sex!) then there might be a bit of a difference explained there.

Sorry, I meant she was born at 40+2

10 ounces less!

Just ignore me, I am incoherent tonight!

Juat popping on briefly to wish 30ish and Ealey the best of luck tomorrow... Can't wait to here about your new arrivals