Support thread for those of us who are requesting an ELCS after a previous traumatic delivery

[withorwithoutyou]

Hello everyone.

I have noticed a lot of threads regarding requesting ELCS lately, probably because I am in the process of trying to request one myself!

I just wondered if it might be useful for us to have a support thread where we can talk this all through as I know it can be a challenging process to go through.

Can I please also ask in the nicest possible way that anybody contributing to this thread can respect our desire for ELCS over VB? Thank you!

Anyway, I'll start - I have one DD, born 20 months ago by forceps after failed ventouse. She weighed 9 pounds 11 and I am concerned this one will be heavier! I am 30 weeks and have my first consultants appt tomorrow where I will be requesting an ELCS!

Many congratulations Mumtoblaire! And thanks so much for sharing this story, I have run through every possible nightmare situation about not actually making it to my ELCS date and now you have given me a lovely positive story to focus on!
Glad to hear you're home and enjoying your new daughter. Take care

Hi ladies,
Not posted on here for ages, but have got a second opinion appointment with a different consultant on Fri having being turned down flat for a section by a horrible woman last time.
Am (as I see others of you have been) fairly wound up about the apptmnt already but am due to see a senior midwife the day before (on thurs) to talk through my last birth thus ensuring that I have jumped through all the possible hoops before I go into battle!

Any ideas of anything I should ask the midwife or any advice on particular arguments that have won the case for anyone else appreciated.

mumtoblaire wonderful story, thanks! Hope baby Nina is doing well. Very reassuring to have the positive tale of labour starting before ELCS date.

I'm also interested in the arguments for ELCS, I have my consultant appointment on 6th October (a while away yet) but am already thinking about what to say. I'm hoping as my midwife seemed quite reasonable about it that the consultant will be fine. Do they talk to each other beforehand or will I need to start from scratch? i want to be clear and rational about it which is how I feel, an ELCS just seems the most logical choice for me, but would I be better off being emotional??

mendipgirl well my midwife and consultant don't communicate at all but then they are in different places. At my first consultants appointment I had to start again from scratch as she was unaware of why I was there despite an appointment being booked specifically to discuss birthing options!

just catching up on this thread - waves at everyone.

voleinahole my DD has grade one hypoxia too- she is 6months and absolutely fine now- how is your LO? HIE is scarily common- but grade 1's are usually fine thank heavens.

I am in same boat as you musing about what to do for next birth!

mendipgirl and hevster- i would say, go in there in control, with a clear list of for and against c-sect think its important theat they know that u know the risks, so they know u have made an informed decission.

and then cry cry cry, and say how the whole thing has over shadowed what should be an enjoyable experiance

Cheers sophieandbelly glad you got yours, I saw a senior midwife to go through previous birth today and now feel quite traumatised so will write my case tonight and start praying!

Well ladies, I have been given a date of 5th October.... hurrah, the consultant was the first really understanding person that I have seen and agreed to the section on mental grounds due to the trauma of my last delivery, I feel like a huge load has been lifted off my mind and I will be able to sleep again!

Hi Hevster, just saw you on another post and thought you must have got a date! Well done! Am very pleased for you. You will be amazed at how much better you'll sleep now and how much more relaxed you'll be about the whole thing.
Im 12 days away now and it feels very much like its dragging but I should be very grateful that they're doing it.
Another success story, Hurrah! X

Hi Thandeka. He appears totally fine now, thank god. We saw a fantastic paediatrician a couple of weeks ago and he was very reassuring. So we are hopeful that all will be well. I am glad your little one is doing well too.

It is a total dilemma for next time though. Personally, if I had another birth with the same problems, I would totally regret going through it again and would totally blame myself if something happened to the baby. Whereas if I had a CS which went wrong I would feel less regret I think. But I had such an easy recovery from VB that I am just scared. Argh.

Yes please thought I was being OTT.

Hello everyone, just wanted to pop back on and say that I am still inrecovery from my section on July 5th.

I know that you probably don't want to hear it, but the last few weeks have been horrendous, I got an infection in my scar, last week, whilst recovering from mastitis and thrush. It knocked me sideways, and I was in bed for days, feeling dreadful. Unfortunately as a result, b'feeding is over, which I was very sad about, but I just felt so ill.

Ds is finally growing well, after consistently losing weight, and had his chest checked out last week, there is still a slight haze, and he has reflux, but is otherwise fine.

I really don't want to be a voice of negativity on such a positive thread, but I just want people to be prepared, that it can be quite a long slow recovery, and if it is, to just be prepared to do as little as possible! I have only been able to walk into town once in the last 6 weeks, and it was the day after, that I developed an infection.

I remember thinking a couple of weeks ago, that other people had said they were driving/lifting stuff etc, surely I should be ok by now - but everyone is different, so prepare yourself not to expect too much.

Hope everyone has fantastic births, good luck. x

Hazey - sorry you are still going through such a rough patch, but glad that DS is getting better and hope both of you are soon thriving.

I hope you are getting really good care and that you have all the support you need to be able to rest up as much as possible.

Thank you for letting us know how things are going, still thinking of you.x

Hi Hazeyjane. So sorry that you're having such a difficult time recovering, I'd been thinking of you and wondering how you were doing. You're absolutely right in putting your experiences down here for people to see, as well as getting support for yourself. I am sometimes a bit worried that we can sometimes make it all sounds a bit too easy, and that it's not necessarily like this for everyone. It's great to hear that your little boy is on the up now, and I really hope that you'll be feeling much better in yourself soon as well. Keep coming back to tell us how you both are. Hugs!

Hi Hazey, echo what the other girls say too but wanted to say thank you for sharing. I know none of us want anything sugar coated and appreciate all the honesty of Mumsnet so it really is important to hear both sides of the story.
Im not far off my ELCS now and will be coming back to share my experiences good and bad!
Best of luck with everything, hope you've turned a corner and things are on the up!
X

Hi everyone

Just wanted to update on my recovery so far.

I am 17 days post ELCS today and feel really well. I have been getting out walking with pram since day 8, it's a big bouncy pram though and takes no effort to push, been going for about an hour and a half each day. I did notice on day 10 that the middle bit of my incision was very tender and quite inflamed but no discharge. Seen by doctor next day and started on antibiotics.

Stopped taking paracetamol yesterday as realised was taking through habit and didn't really need them. Infection cleared up now and since the scar has become hard and lumpy it is not tender or sore any more.

I really am fed up with granny pants though and wondered when you ladies went back to normal undies? I also am so looking forward to wearing my jeans but my tummy is still so huge, 39 inchesHow long does it take to shrink?

Any one else's incision been done on the crease between belly and pubic bone? I thought it was done lower.

I was worried about how long I'd be in granny pants for too! I recently tried out normal pants again (3 months post CS) and they're fine now. I'm back in my old fat jeans, but still 1.5 stone more than before. That's my fault though! I think they say that it takes about 6 weeks for your uterus to shrink back down. My incision is a bit higher than I expected too. I thought it would be buried in my pubes, but it's actually slightly above.

Thankyou for your really kind posts.

I was worried you would all tell me to clear off with my doom and gloom!

Just wanted to let you all know, it was 6 weeks post cs on Monday, and I feel as though someone has opened he door on a particularly claustrophobic room that I have been stuck in. The infection in my scar has cleared, mastitis and thrush is on the mend. Ds is fully f'fed, and although I am sad about the b'feeding, I do feel more myself now. I am finally able to push the pushchair, so have been able to go out with the dds and ds (and show him off!). I feel about a million times better than I did last week.Even the horendous sleep deprivation (ds has reflux) pales compared to how I have felt for the last 6 weeks

I feel I will be in granny pants for a while yet, normal knickers sit just on my scar, and just feel wierd (I think dh is worried that I will start stealing his y-fronts to wear, like I did when we first met. I recommend the Theramine belt to people having a c-section in the future, I wear it between knickers and jeans, and it just cushions your scar. My scar is over my pubic hairline, and on a big diagonal, I think because they had to tilt the bed a lot when I had my operation, due to low blood pressure.

Good luck to everyone who has had, is going to have or hopes to have a c-section.

I'm so pleased to hear that, hopefully it will be onwards and upwards from now on! I know it feels sad when you switch to FF, but it's far more important that your little boy has a happy and healthy mummy.

Hi everyone - just wanted to say I have been looking in on the thread regularly and congratulations to you all getting over the CS. This thread has been really helpful and inspirational.

I saw my midwife for 16 week appointment this week and she read the notes I had made and had no hesitation in referring me to request ELCS - I am seeing a consultant who a medical friend knows is pro-choice on the same day as my 20 week scan so I am hoping I can have an agreement then and stop thinking about it! Would that be too early for them to agree do you think?

crumblequeen - I think the earlier it's flagged up the better and less stressful for you. You might not get a date until later, but I see no reason not to hope for an agreement. I got my elcs agreed at my booking in and it was an enormous help.

mumtoblaire - so glad you are healing well and well done on the walking! I must get out more too, if only it wasn't so showery here at the moment! I am back in normal pants now, but it took 6-8 weeks until I felt I wasn't squeezing my tummy. My scar is above the bikini line too - but my hair is quite fine and low so I thought that might be why. I'm very proud of that thin red line .... sunroof exit for DS!

hazeyjane - so glad the light is dawning for you. I'm so glad you didn't stay away, your experience is so important for all of us who have/are balancing risks for vb or elcs after trauma. I am more shocked that more of us haven't had similar experiences to you, than that your surgery was so awful. After DC1's traumatic forceps birth I had terrible breast thrush and ended up moving to FF. A week after I stopped trying to bf I felt much better physically and emotionally. Maybe a coincidence, but I hope you also find it's just improvement after improvement for you now. I felt my body didn't have enough strength in it to heal me from the birth and the breast infection - with hindsight it was my turning point in the initial healing process.

I am now 10 weeks post op and feeling good. Still a little baby weight to lose, but back in normal jeans and pants (just eating soooo much chocolate to combat my tiredness). I'm seeing the physios in a couple of weeks to assess how my pelvic floor is coping, but I think I'll get to a decent level when I get round to putting in the exercises I need. I'm planning on doing pilates to help but want to get the all clear from the physios before I try too much.

Hi, just joining this thread although have been watching for months now and taking down tips to help with getting my ELC. This was approved 2 weeks ago, but I had to go through a lot to get it. I want to say thanks to those of you who have updated on a regular basis as this has really put my mind at rest about my decision.
The reason for my post is to mention that like voleinahole I have type 1 diabetes so didn't have any option to change consultant or hospital due to the monitoring around diabetics in pregnancy. I had an extremely traumatic birth with ds1 (had had my requested ELC refused due to no grounds. I was induced and then had 3 days of painful labour (with my constant requests for a section being denied). Only at the 11th hour - this was 36 hours in - was I rushed to theatre as ds was in distress and ended up with a very distressing forceps delivery. Luckily ds was fine apart from bruising. However, this time I was extremely insistent that my voice was heard and ended up being referred to other consultants and a psychiatrist in order to assess what was the best mode of delivery for my health, the heath of the baby and for my mental well-being. The result was they recommended an ELC which will be booked in a few weeks time (I am currently 26 weeks).
Anyway, I just wanted to say that the best advice I can give is to seek as much opinion and advice as possible, but always remember that you must stick to what you feel is the best thing for your health and mental state and not be swayed by people who are set on their own opinions and hospital policy.
I will continue to read all the updates on this thread - and think it is wonderful that it was started in the first place. Good luck to all of you pushing for your ELC and well done to all of you who are out the otherside with your gorgeous babies xx

Lisa couldn't agree with you more, I had to fight to get mine after a traumatic first birth and would encourage anyone struggling to just keep seeking opinions until you find someone to listen, if nothing else they will realise you are serious and not going to go away

Hi Ladies

Just wondered how everyone was doing?

For those that have had their sections, When did the bumpiness on the scar go away? My scar is healing well and hoping to start driving again on Monday, will be 4 weeks post section and health visitor doesn't think it will be a problem.

Tummy has shrunk lots in last couple of weeks but have been walking almost 3 miles everyday with pram. Only got 7lbs to lose to get to pre-pregnancy weight but jeans will not come up past my hips. DH did say yesterday that I was looking really well so that's something I suppose.

I also started taking contraceptive pill again on day 21 post section, not that I plan on doing anything for a few weeks but didn't even think about it the last time for at least 8 months after birth of DD1. I am so happy I went for ELCS. Best thing I could have done

mumtoblaire - very glad you are recovering so well. I also started the pill after 21 days which is such a contrast from last time - seeing consultants 7 months post birth because sex was impossibly painful.

The scar bumpiness started to diminish after a couple of weeks I think, then it slowly but surely went down and down and now there is only a little bumpiness which I have to push hard on the line to feel.

I think it takes the pelvis a while to resettle post baby carrying so don't give up on the jeans yet! I'm back in mine and have a similar amount of weigh to lose too.