Support thread for those of us who are requesting an ELCS after a previous traumatic delivery

[withorwithoutyou]

Hello everyone.

I have noticed a lot of threads regarding requesting ELCS lately, probably because I am in the process of trying to request one myself!

I just wondered if it might be useful for us to have a support thread where we can talk this all through as I know it can be a challenging process to go through.

Can I please also ask in the nicest possible way that anybody contributing to this thread can respect our desire for ELCS over VB? Thank you!

Anyway, I'll start - I have one DD, born 20 months ago by forceps after failed ventouse. She weighed 9 pounds 11 and I am concerned this one will be heavier! I am 30 weeks and have my first consultants appt tomorrow where I will be requesting an ELCS!

Hi sheep - so glad it went well and that your instinct was proved right! I am putting a lot of weight onto my gut instinct too with my decision. I hope its a comfort for any future issues arising from your childbirths - you pushed for the elcs and were proved right.

withor - hope your back heals soon! I've had doubling up cramps in my back and front but only on and off. I know what you mean though about a warning of what will be needed for the recovery. I am struggling to wash up and lower DD into her cot because my bump is just HUGE now and gets in the way. Using the money to plan a cleaner and some dog walking sounds ideal. My DH is also great on the intention to help out more, but often doesn't actually get round to it either - especially cleaning.

At the moment DD is going to a childminder for 1 day a week so I can fully rest for a few hours. And she gets to see other people who don't waddle! It's just been for a few weeks and I imagine it will end in the next week or so as my MIL comes to stay but it has been a big help. We've also paid someone to come and do the garden - hedges, grass, tidy. It's a small garden but it makes such a difference not to be thinking about making time for it when DH is also frantically getting office work done before his paternity.

Dear All,

Finally got a chance to get on here after my amazing ELCS on Tuesday. To recap, I had my first two children normally, but my son (DC2) had shoulder dystocia and although thankfully he has suffered no long-term effects, it was horrendously traumatic and I never want to go through anything like it again.

DC3, who I had on Tuesday, was unstable lie, so for that reason and the dystocia, I was allowed an elective c-s.

Needless to say, the baby turned just before the op. They said did I want to be induced and I said a thousand per cent NO, not after the traumatic dystocia. They said fine, fair enough, and were really nice about it.

We arrived on the ward quite early and there were four other couples. One of them had been breech and their baby had turned and they decided to go for induction, so that left four of us. We hung about waiting to find out what order we were in, and eventually we were told we were second in.

DH was given scrubs to wear, and as he put them on, he suddenly said to me 'I'm terrified.' I said WHAAT? You are my BIRTH PARTNER here to CALM ME DOWN so shut up. But I knew what he meant - after two vaginal births, long labours etc, this suddenly felt very clinical and immediate and massively scary.

Various docs came to talk us through what was going to happen - all of them lovely though we were so nervous we just said yes yes to whatever they said.

Suddenly a midwife appeared and said right, come with me and we walked into labour ward and into the theatre. Even though I'd been on a tour, this was not the operating theatre I'd seen, it was the emergency theatre, so had a few more scary looking bits of machinery. There were probably eight people in the room, all in their scrubs, busying about doing stuff, and I suddenly felt very small and insignificant and NERVOUS! (NB I am not normally a nervous type - just was interested that I was pretty cool til the end when suddenly it all felt really really scary indeed!)

I couldn't get my head around the fact that I was soon to have a baby. Compared to previous labours that started one day and ended the day (or two) after, it all seemed very strangely immediate. I suddenly thought I didn't feel READY to have a baby - ridiculous, but it felt so odd compared to previous babies.

I was also scared that something would be wrong with the baby - it would come out and something would be obviously wrong with it. DD had a cleft palate and that was a real shock and I suddenly was frightened we might be presented with a similar challenge.

Anyway, they gave me the spinal and that was fine - I pretended I could feel it more than I could so I would be sure of not feeling anything at all, but really I trusted them. They all seemed so professional.

The anaesthetist was a lovely woman who stood behind my head and reassured me throughout. I got a bit tearful at the beginning and she was so nice, saying you're fine, you're fine, don't worry, and all the way through I kept saying Is everything ok? v neurotically (poor woman!) and she was lovely and said yes yes this is all normal, don't worry.

ABout ten minutes in she said 'Your baby is almost coming now' and I was so scared. Then they lifted him out - we didn't know what we were having and it was a lovely moment. Everyone said congratulations and DH looked thrilled adn whipped his top off for a bit of skin to skin. I felt like a real dosser as everyone said well done to me and I'd just lain there like a lemon!

Then they stitched me up - prob took 20 mins but the time FLEW BY - and we were wheeled into recovery where a lovely midwife took ages helping me get bf going.

Too tired to type much more but jsut to say i twas the most fabulous experience ever, so untraumatic for both me and DH (he is a complete convert to c-s having been against it before) and I envy everyone on these boards who have it yet to go trhough. Good luck all! And thanks to those whose posts encouraged me along the road - a C-S was absolutely the right thing to have done, and I am so happy we did it. If I could persuade my DH to have a fourth baby, I would without a DOUBT have another c-s.

Now at home with my lovely son who weighed 9lb 2oz so I am very glad he came out the wrong way!

x

Litdog what a fantastic story! That brought a tear to my eye it was so lovely.

The hospital sounds amazing, having a m/w to help with b/feeding straightaway must have been great.

I'm so pleased it went so well for you, and very many congratulations on your new DS.

Wow - litdog thank you so much for giving us such a postive and detailed account. It is really good to know when you felt scared and when time flew etc as I am sure I will have a lot of similar feelings!

I am trying to be positive without getting my hopes up too high. Don't want to be unnecessarily negative about this birth but cannot face being really disappointed or shocked if it's a tough one.

Congratulations Litdog, I'm so pleased to hear it all went so well for you! And congratulations on your lovely little boy. I hope you make a very quick recovery.

COngrats Litdog - and of course everyone in the theatre should say well done to you - you grew that baby for 9 months, what a fantastic job you did!

Those of you worrying about back pain etc after c/s - honestly mine wasn't too bad after my emer c/s - if I held dd too long my lower back would ache a bit but not too bad. Obviously if you already have a bad back from pg it may be a bit worse. People's levels of pain/ease of recovery after c/s does seem to vary a lot, I felt quite weak and tired sometimes (but then, doesn't everyone, with a newborn!), but not really in pain. They were really good with me too getting bfing going - they got dd latched on in recovery and she was great at bfing (thank goodness, cos I didn't really have a clue!)

I had a growth scan on Friday, I'm 32 weeks, and they reckon the baby is 5lb 1oz already! I know the scans aren't always accurate but if she's a big baby, all the more reason for an elec cs.

Litdog - congratulations on the birth of your son!! Sounds like an amazing experience & I'm so pleased it was all positive for you.

Got just over 2 wks till my elcs with DC1 & I am scared but excited - thanks so much for sharing your experience with us. DC1 was 4lb 13oz at 32 wk scan so also quite hefty & I've got placenta previa so I'm also really quite pleased that I have medical reasons for elcs and not only my horrendous fear of vb. That would sound a bit mental to some people but I'm sure you lot understand (I have secretly hoped all the way through that there would be some MINOR complication that would require CS even though my consultant's been great & supported by elcs the whole way, it's just a relief to have a medical reason as back up!).

Have been lurking here for a bit (Am wondering if I have posted before but can't seem to find it so will post again!) I defo will want ELCS for next bub but as PFB is only 15weeks we may wait a while!
(failed epidural, 4failed canulas, failed ventouse, forceps, episiostomy, oxygen starved DD on NICU for 8days after birth with Hypoxic Ischemic Encephapathy Grade1 and pneumonia and summat ADH syndrome- was most horrific experience of my life and though I feel another forceps/episiostomy wouldnt be the end of the world- another DC on NICU would finish me off! DD is currently doing great but her MRI did reveal summat had gone on during delivery so it is a case of waiting and seeing she meets her milestones.

So will be demanding an ELCS- reason DD was oxygen starved was she was 9.5lbs and I was on my back. Second babies are often bigger- my consultant in my traumatic birth debrief said that there was no obstetric reason for an ELCS so they wouldnt say yes immediately and would look at inducing me at 38 weeks into a next pregnancy. Well considering I believe the stats are 50% of inductions end in sections then I want to cut out the middle man (there is a pun in there somewhere!).

So reading this thread is really helping me with ammo for next baby esp as we may be moving and at a different hospital to last time.

Sheepgomeep - I missed your post for some reason, I'm so sorry.

So glad your ELCS went well, I can't believe they tried to push you so hard into a VBAC

I bet you totally felt vindicated given your DD's weight and position.

Congrtatulations on your DD3 and thanks so much for sharing your story with us.

Thandeka - hello and welcome, I'm glad you made it over here. You will get loads of great advice here when the time comes for your to request your ELCS so good to see you.

Hope everyone else is well. I'm still suffering with my back a bit but it does seem better than it was. 4 more days at work til maternity leave so that's good.

I've got my consultants app at 9AM tomorrow, am determined to come out of it with a date for my ELCS. Wish me luck!

Lots of amazing stories here, and I'm just writing to say, help, I had my 32 week consultant appt last Friday, having been so traumatised at booking in appt at 14 weeks that I was referred to a psychiatrist (for fear of childbirth), and for some odd reason, I decided AGAINST an el c/s...what am I like? Partly because it would be at 39 weeks, and DS1 came at 38 weeks, so it's possible i'll go into labour naturally in any case by then.

I just felt instinctively that I'd be better off trying to have a positive natural experience which may end up emergency, than denying myself at least one good experience. That and I am actually fairly freaked out about the major abdominal surgery / recovery time etc. We live in an area miles from family which means all help would be paid for, and I felt it was a bit much. But now I'm a but jealous that youv'e all made your minds up and have dates in place. Anyhow, I'm not 100% sure I've done the right thing, but I'll keep you posted...

Hi mumwithbumandtum,

I think you just have to trust whatever your instinct tells you is the right thing to do.

Also, if you have a real desire for a positive natural experience (something I've never really wished for) then I think there's more motivation to go for what you want, if that makes sense.

You still have time to change your mind if you do decide to, but you probably know deep down what it is you'd rather do.

Horrible decision I know, but good luck!

Hi everyone,

Just got back from my consultants appt. Wasn't sure what to expect as I still hadn't been told if I could have one or not.

Anyway, saw I think the registrar who was very nice this time, which was good. He disappeared at the beginning of the appt for a while before we had discussed the section (was worried I was going to have to argue for one) and while he was gone I got a text from DH saying a m/w had called to arrange my section!

So that made me a bit more relaxed. Anyway, had a growth scan, wasn't given an estimated weight just told that baby was definitely not small. Registrar said consultant had agreed to a section, asked how I was feeling and got someone to book it. No one tried to talk me out of it or scare me about the risks of c-s, which I was anticipating.

So anyway, I now have date, 29th June!!! It's a few days after DH's 30th birthday, which is funny as DD was born a few days after my 30th birthday.

Am so relieved to have a date and something to look forward to you. Thank you all you lovely people for listening to me stress and complain about it all

Withor - great news!!!! A date was so comforting to me, hope it makes you feel all calm too. Not long now either!

Great news withorwithoutyou. Nice to be able to relax now. I got my letter yesterday for my consultant appt, next Tuesday afternoon, feeling a bit nervous but hopefully will be OK.

Thanks lovethesea and whatshesaid - I also managed to get through the entire appointment without crying once, which was a first!

Good luck for Tues whatshesaid, and keep us posted.

Well done on the emotional control too withor! I even teared up briefly when talking to the anaesthetist last week - well, he did ask me to tell him about my last birth! Poor guy, he looked around frantically and then offered me a hand towel as there were no tissues about. Fortunately I had some on me anyway.

Onebaby - I meant to say that I completely understand the desire for a medical reason for an elcs. I was thinking bean could go nicely breech and that would solve all my choice dilemmas. Now I have worked through it all I am happy that my choice of elcs is the best for me and bean medically - for our physical health, especially longterm for me and at the point of birth for bean given he could get wedged as DC1 did and also face a lack of oxygen. And for my mental and emotional health which will impact heavily on DH, DC1 and bean too. I think I'm am about past the 'what if's' and 'if only's' that haunted my earlier pondering.

The big one for me this time is gut instinct. It was right last time and no one listened - big emergency, lots of trauma and damage. This time I would be the daft one not listening to myself if I charged enthusiastically for the nice vb I was aiming at last time.

Thandeka - so good to hear your DD is doing well at the moment though I know the future is an unknown for you all. I hope she continues to stun the medics with great progress and I am sure she is a joy to be with. I seriously cannot see how you could be refused an elcs in the future given your first birth. For your emotional and mental health alone it would be a fair choice to keep you sane through another pregnancy and birth. You have very valid points on weight, position and a desire to avoid induction/emcs. I am certain you would be able to find a consultant who would appreciate the trauma you and your DD have been through and your need to have more control over things next time. Glad the thread is being useful for you.

I thought I'd pop back to see how you're all getting on. Congratulations on getting your CS date withorwithoutyou, what a huge relief for you!

Just thought I'd share something nice which has happened in the last few days. After having such a positive experience with the birth of my second child, I've noticed that all my bad feelings about the birth of my first seem to have ebbed away. In fact, I heard a piece of music that I always associate with his birth the other day and noticed that I had tears of happiness in my eyes rather than trauma. It was so unexpected and such a nice surprise that I thought I'd share it with you. I think a positive birth experience really can help heal the hurts of previous bad ones.

ealey that is wonderful news. I am hoping that might also be the case for me. How is the rest of your recovery going?

The recovery is going pretty well thanks. In fact it was going too well - to the extent that I walked down to the local supermarket to get a couple of things, got carried away, and found myself standing at the till with a full basket thinking "sh*t, I'm not supposed to be lifting anything heavy"! So I've been a bit sore again today and have rested up. It's so easy to forget and do things you shouldn't!

Lovethesea I know what you mean tearing up talking about your DD's birth with the anaesthetist. At my first consultant's appt he said "why did you have forceps" and just the word made me cry. Horribly embarassing especially as I am not normally emotional in that way.

Ealey - thanks so much for sharing that, I am hoping that that's how I will feel about DD's birth. I do feel calmer about it already now knowing I won't have to do it again. Glad you are recovering well too.

Ealey I had my CS a week after you I think (may 18) and I have felt so well I've been up and about doing everything normally, apart from lifting up my toddlers.

But in the last two days my bleeding has come back again quite heavily (it had mostly gone) so like you I am resting today - my MW came round today and told me to rest more. Such a pain when I feel so fine!

I totally agree with you about how hard it is to do nothing, esp with older children. DS is ok and happy to sit next to me and the baby in bed, watching CBeebies, but DD doesn't get it and wants me to pick her up, get down on the carpet and play with her etc.

I loved my CS so much I am now seriously wondering how to get baby number four out of DH without him divorcing me!

Glad your recovery going well.

x

Glad you're recovering well too litdog. I've had exactly the same experience with the bleeding. It had all but stopped, but then came back quite heavily after a few days of dashing around doing too much. I've made myself stay put the last couple of days and it seems to be easing off again now. I feel bad about not picking up my toddler too, but then I remind myself that I wasn't picking him up for weeks at the end of the pregnancy to prepare him, so hopefully he doesn't feel as bad about it as I do!

Good to hear litdog and ealey - I am really going to try hard to do almost nothing. Not picking up DD will be the hardest thing I am sure, but hopefully having my MIL then mother about will help a lot.

I am trying to think of it as short term 'do nothing' in trade for long term ability.

ealey I am sure your toddler will be just fine - they have that mad independent streak anyway, he'll probably enjoy trying to figure out new skills in things you normally do. In fact, it will probably be hard to get him to let you do things again afterwards! How old is he?

ok so i'm pregnant! (i posted about my first vb earlier in the thread)

i'm very excited but also very very scared about the birth. i'm only 5 weeks so having had my booking in appointment yet.

do i mention that i want a cs at the booking in appointment?

Also, who do i contatc at the hospital (addenbrookes in cambridge) to get a copy of my notes?

thanks

p.s congratulations to everyone who have had their lovely babies since i last posted

Litdog, I'm really glad to hear you've been feeling so well.

NanBullen, congratulations on your pregnancy! I didn't mention CS at booking in but that's because I didn't want to discuss anything with a midwife, only a consultant.

You could mention it at booking and then ask to be referred to a consultant asap. I was told that round here a consultant won't see you until third trimester, but I have heard of other people being seen much sooner.

With regards to notes - you should be able to go via PALs to get a copy of these.

Good luck and keep us posted.