who's contemplating a home birth - want to discuss it?

[elliott]

Hi there
Noticed that quite a few of us who are now pregnant are planning or thinking about home birth - katherine, motherinferior, princesspeahead, www etc. I'm just 17 weeks now and very undecided about what to do, so would welcome hearing other's thoughts and views. What has motivated your choice? What are your greatest worries/fears/hopes? What is the deal in your area re midwife care - do you feel confident in your midwives? Lots of other thoughts but that should do for now...

I feel I should start organising this home birth I want now, not just thinking about it. So apart from plastic sheeting and sick buckets which I have to add to my shopping list I'm still considering a birthing pool.
Has anyone had any further experience of the US pool from this site
Am still undecided about a waterbirth but as this one is so cheap esp now it's on sale??????

Well the MW has just been down with my HB kit - not that there was much in it - just some of those inco pads. Bit disappointed really last time the MW brought me the gas and air which she said she shouldn't do really but she thought I'd be quick and probably need it before she got there. And I did. I was 8cm by the time she arrived. Looks like I'll be doing without this time and I did find it helped with my breathing. Have to find something else to focus on. But thats it anyway. I'm 37 weeks tomorrow and shes going away on the 28th so I've been told to get on with it..... Looks like I can uncross my legs now!

Like you Katherine, I am quick (under an hour from start to finish last time). Both labours so far have followed the same pattern ; waters break and then the contractions start at 3 mins apart and are intensely painful. Pushing starts very soon after. So I would want access to Gas & Air asap. How can you be guaranteed that a Midwide will actually respond immediately and come out straight away?

Well my Mws are pretty good and aware that I'm likley to be quick - but even so it still takes them 15 -20 mins so I am a bit fed up that I will have to manage without. But at the end of the day I'm not convinced it was the gas that helped me. More the biting on the mouthpiece and the fact that it helped me focus on my breathing so I'll just have to find an alternative method this time. After all it it is so quick again then I won't have long to suffer and it was this thought that kept me so relaxed last time. She was great about oral vit. K though. Last time there was some problem so I settled for an injection to avoid causing trouble but she was fine, said she'd get the Dr to write it up as its not something they normally carry but she seemed really interested in the idea. Didn't realise that they have to have 3 doses though if they have it orally!

Angelmother - still undecided about this pool but with the sale on I think I will go ahead and order one - at that price it is hardly a major financial risk if plans go awry and I end up in hospital anyway and easier on the pocket than the hundreds of pound of a hrie one over here.

I was initially concerned about maintaining the temp - many of the hire pools are thermostatically controlled. However, I have read several articles written by doctors who are concerned about these - esp. if ordered early and used for a length of time leading up to the birth - the warm temp. is ideal for growing bugs and as you can?t treat the water like you would do a jacuzzi/swimming pool the bugs are left alone to multiply and become a potential health risk.

Stripymouse how are we supposed to maintain the temp in this pool do you know??

The pools are made from Inflatable Lifeboat material, and keep the water really well insulated against sudden drops or rises in temperature. We didn't have a fancy thermostatically controlled one, just a cheap basic, and my dp and best friend had no difficulty in occasionally topping it up with some hot water from the kettle...tho' I don't remember them having to do that while I was in it. The midwives kept a thermometer dangled in it at all times.

I was a Cherie-Blair-aged first time mother, and met no resistance from midwives in getting a home birth...it didn't work out in the end, the baby was OP, and we ended up in hospital having a ventouse delivery. But up until that point, I managed 28 hours relaxed labour and pushing at home with only a TENS machine, before the pool, and breathing, and I still feel as if most of my birth experience was at home. The obstetrician said I definately would have had a Cesarean had we been in hospital. I would definately go for a home birth again.

In nursery they have a copy on sale for about £8.00 of an NHS glossy book about having a baby, can't remember the name. I flipped through it, and in the section on waterbirth, it actually says that every woman is entitled to have an NHS waterbirth at home, but that they realize that in practice it may be difficult to obtain, so a woman should write to the chief executive of her local health authority if she is having difficulties getting a waterbirth at home. Have any of you tried to get this on the NHS?

I certainly know of people who have had home waterbirths attended by NHS midwives, but I think they all had to pay for the hire of their own pools.
I've been thinking about this as I have heard very good things about waterbirths, but I haven't raised it with my own midwives. The local hospital has only just started offering waterbirths so I know that local knowledge and expertise will be thin on the ground, and frankly I would rather not be somebody's first waterbirth! I can't even decide whether I really want one, so perhaps it will be easier if I don't raise the issue.

I wanted to have a home birth with my second but after a complicated pregnancy i was advised against it due to increased risks for me and the baby. I think if you've had a good pregnancy then midwives will support your decision to have a homebirth (legally they do have to do what you want at the end of the day - i never realised it was illegal to have a planned birth without a midwife). Obviously you need to be aware that the equipment they carry with them is minimal and should anything go wrong they would need to call an ambulance to get you to hospital which could waste valuable time. I've got a friend who had all four at home and raves about it but personally i felt happier labouring at home and then getting to the hospital just for the pushing part where i knew all the equipment was etc

OK, so how is everyone doing? I've just been eavesdropping on Katherine's traumas - pretty poor show Katherine, why ARE they allowed to have holiday at the same time, if it means they can't provide the service they should? (well I suppose I should be sympathetic, I guess they all want a bit of the school holidays...) hope it all works out anyway.
Who else is nearing delivery? must be PPH next??

I'm now 22 weeks and have told the midwife I want to book for home. I've reached the stage now where I don't really want to think any more about whether I should or shouldn't - figure if I just say I am intending to have a home birth, then unless or until I change my mind, then that's what will happen. I AM scared and worried (www, how are you doing?) but I think that is intrinsic to the nature of childbirth (that 'near death experience' thing...) and I suspect I'd be feeling similarly if I was booked in to hospital. So I'm just going to pretend that its all very normal to have a home birth and just go with the flow....(does that make any sense at all? )

Well, don't know when pph is due, but I was due last Monday, so by rights it ought to be my turn! (Please let it be my turn...! )

Hello, hello! Musica, I certainly think you will be first as I'm not due until 30 August. One month to go! Poor you, you must be bored out of your head waiting for this one to come, I was late with both my previous two and it drove me mad.
Very happy with my lovely independent midwife, she's been doing all my antenatal care since may and I feel I know her pretty well know (and vice versa) and the fact that I know that she will be helping me through this is making a huge difference to my peace of mind about the whole home birth thing. It is interesting. If I'd stuck to the NHS and been sitting here knowing that any one of a pool of 26 midwives doing one home birth a year each was going to turn up on the big day I'd probably be reconsidering my decision completely I think.

I've ordered the pool, but feel like I should be getting reams of other things ready, but I don't know what! Have plastic sheeting coming with the pool, towels etc are no problem - what else will we need? I guess not much, really. Hmmmm.

Hi elliott, thanks for asking. I'm still scared but trying not to think about it too much - a head in the sand approach really, which sounds similar to yours! I probably will tell the midwives I want to book for home but I think it's all going to come down to how I feel on the day really. My wonderful ex MIL has agreed to come and stay though to help with ds, so that's a load off my mind. Some days I'm relaxed and think yeah, it'll be OK and others I think, ah well, I probably will die (or at the very least I'll think I'm going to), oh shit. Really. (any really reassuring stats would be great elliott but don't post them if they're not. Or even tell me it's incredibly rare, that would be nice ) A friend recommended cognitive therapy which I may try if I get around to it/can find someone down here. My attitude isn't very positive about birth really though and I do need to sort it out. I veer between thinking I'll ask for hospital with an epidural/general (Joking!) and an elective c section (also joking) and thinking nah, home with just gas and air will do me fine. Eeek! Is anyone else this pathetic second time around? Perfectly prepared to believe it's just me being a wuss.

Oh and good luck musica and pph.

Hi Elliott - thanks for thinking of me. V. fed up with the whole thing but we've basically descided to just ignore what the MW has said and carry on at home as we planned. Its only the 2nd MW who isn't covered for all shifts so there is a reasonable chance that it could all be fine anyway. Its just knowing that when I make the phonecall I might get met with a "sorry change of plan" response which is depressing. However the 2nd MW only just made it last time so I'm blowed if I'm giving up my HB because they can't get organised. According to Mears and Pupace someone will have to come anyway so I'm sticking to my guns, otherwise I do really beleive there is a risk of giving birth in the car on a dangerous road with no mobile reception. Yuk!

So apart from this hiccup in my plans (forcing me to be slightly more rebelious than is in my nature) I am really looking forward to my HB. If I can just keep DH from pulling any more plaster off the walls etc and manage to keep the front room semi-repsectable then we are all set. I've got a large plastic backed picnic blanket to go on the floor. It was cheap and fleece washed well anyway so thought it would be nicer than a groundsheet as recommended by MW. I've also dug out all our old pillows and stuck covers on them to give me a bit of extra support and got some old towels to hand too. The pile is growing in the lounge. Just my luck I will go downstairs to find the kids have turned it all into a camp or something!

Just been sympathising with you on the other thread Musica and sending you positive vibes although would also appreciate any spare ones for myself too.

Don't think you have to get anything else, PPH - EXCEPT FOR A HOT WATER BOTTLE. Fleecy covered for preference. Pleeeeeease. It really helped me last time, wodged into the small of my back!

Good luck everyone. I got to the point where I didn't just advocate a C-section, I started wondering 'what's the problem with surrogacy anyway' - and that was at 37 weeks.

ooooh, good advice. I don't own a hot water bottle!

now where do I find one in august (almost) after the hottest 5 weeks on record? my mission for the week I think!

Superdrug has them, in rather racy leopard print, I noticed today.

DH had an arguement with a chap at work yesterday who insisted that hospital births were better because they allowed the MWs to deal with more than one birth at a time (he's from the accounts section!) - I thought this a typical "male" comment given that loads of women complain about feeling like being on a conveyor belt and never knowing who you are going to see next. Besides I can't beleive that a hospital birth is really cheaper once you take into account all the auxillary staff, running the place, keeping it clean etc. DH was hoping someone could provide some numbers to throw back at this chap.....

www, sorry to hear you're still beset with worries...is it the actual birth process that you find scary, or the fear that some unexpected complication might happen? Are you plagued with thoughts about your last birth?
I remember you writing that someone reminded you that after your last birth you couldn't stop raving about the experience - can you try to focus on those feelings rather than the (probably rather selecive) memories of the actual birth? I know I had a similar 'adrenaline high' for the first few weeks, I think I bored everyone rigid about the wonders of giving birth kneeling!!

not sure I can say anything very helpful, but the things I try and focus on are these:

• I remember that I felt really good and hugely pleased with myself afterwards
• I remember that the really painful bit only lasted a short time
• I tell myself that probably most labours come to the point where you really don't think you can cope (and are likely to be thinking 'give me that epidural nooooooow'!!) - usually when it is nearly over! midwives are very good at 'bringing you down' if you start to go into orbit at this point -most second labours are shorter and more straightforward than first labours
• I don't discuss it with people who are likely to worry or undermine me. I have completely avoided discussing the decision with any doctors!

btw, I think that your GP's concerns about this being your first baby with a new partner are completely unfounded as far as labour and delivery goes - its the fact that your body has been through it all before (and very successfully!) that is important. fwiw, I have complete faith that things will be fine for you!!

WWW, I was shit scared of labour the first time round. My childless friends thought it was funny to tell me horror stories of women who'd had difficult births, and as I was convinced I was giving birth to the son of satan anyway, none of this helped very much! But to my puzzlement, at about 37 weeks I started to relax about the thought of labour. Maybe it was because I was also seeing a CPN at this stage, and was able to get things off my chest. But when I did start labour, it was more of a relief, a feeling that the whole 9 month nightmare would soon be over. I didn't worry about the pain, or any complications, I just wanted it to be over.

If you contact the NCT they have people who will talk over your last birth with you, and will also act as counsellors over any fears you have about this one. Talking about it does help. But don't put any pressure on yourself, it's normal to be scared witless, I think most of us on this thread are! A head in the sand approach can be quite useful - that's the technique I'm using anyway!

Thanks a lot elliott and Rhubarb, lots of good and helpful thoughts there. Just back from a mw appt where she also said this whole first birth with new partner being like a first birth business was pants too, she said 'No, you've given birth before'. Thought so, but nice to have it confirmed by a very experienced midwife. Have less faith in my GP as a result. I've told her I'm booking for home and got all the usual you must be over 37 weeks/no high bp/not more than 10 days overdue stuff. Apparently they always induce at 10 days overdue here although she admitted they can't make anyone. Elliott, does the absence of stats mean they would scare the s* out of me? Actually, DON'T answer that! Katherine, the tosser in accounts deserves a good response, will have a dig later to see if I can find anything to throw at him...Shame we can't make him experience childbirth.

also elliott, first time round really wasn't that bad, not at all. I just need to keep remembering the positive things about it. I did have to manage without any pain relief at all for about 40 minutes (out of a total of 2 hours extreme pain) since the entenox ran out and I had to wait for a midwife to bring another from the hospital. Could account for some of my nerves I suppose.

Katherine - don't have actual figures for you but women who have homebirth tend to have less need for pain relief and labour more efficiently at home.

In hospital labour may be interfered with eg waters broken , pain relief given, drips started so all in all is more costly to the health service in the lond run. Less risk of infection at home, more privacy, more rest.
Women labour better with one-to-one midwifey support, in or out of hospital. Midwives get more job satisfaction looking after one woman at a time. Care is substandard in a hospital where that cannot be provided.

Tha accountant chappie is talking crap!

You'll do fine www. Ask midwife to bring extra entonox just in case