who's contemplating a home birth - want to discuss it?

[elliott]

Hi there
Noticed that quite a few of us who are now pregnant are planning or thinking about home birth - katherine, motherinferior, princesspeahead, www etc. I'm just 17 weeks now and very undecided about what to do, so would welcome hearing other's thoughts and views. What has motivated your choice? What are your greatest worries/fears/hopes? What is the deal in your area re midwife care - do you feel confident in your midwives? Lots of other thoughts but that should do for now...

[3GirlsMum]

I was told by my midwife that a lot of GP's are very anti homebirth and in fact when you give birth it may not be your own doctor that comes to see you afterwards! We had to take our DD3 to a hospital (well I say we I mean my hubby) for a check up the next day.

How well do you know your midwife? Could you ask her for info on homebirths and statistics for you area if you want to go into it that much. The only problem with knowing too much is that you are always going to find something there that will scare you.

Good luck with your decision.

[bouncy]

Sorry if this has been covered as have not got time to read them all.

I thought about having a home birth, but was put off the idea when I was informed of a friend of a friends child being born at home and unfortunately didn't make it, they tried to save the baby, but couldn't, they assured her that even if she was in hospital it still probably wouldn't have survived. Even though she was told this, she still has doubts and it plays heavily on her mind.

I wish all you pregnant ladies all the best, thinking about trying to get pg again myself.

[Rhubarb]

My midwife was very up front with my about any possible complications, as I think I've mentioned before. She did say that if anything did go wrong, even in hospital, they might not be able to do anything. But then she did say that life is all about taking risks, and we could be hit by a bus crossing the road tomorrow, but that doesn't stop us crossing the road does it? Besides, if the MW has the faintest inkling that anything might be wrong, she won't take any chances.

As for it being different because you are with a different partner, well I've never heard that before! I'm sure that is a load of crap, can anyone confirm this?

[Wills]

www - Its a worrying decision to make, all the what ifs come to mind so you have my sympathies. My gp was also very anti the idea of a homebirth, yet the mw associated with surgery has been wonderfully supportive and its because of her that I've become so keen. I must admit the long hospital journey would be a concern, have you tried it? Also to choose to have a homebirth is not set in stone and my impression from my mw is that you change your mind right up until the baby starts to arrive. Given that most hospitals don't actually want to know you until you are fairly far gone I think if I was in your position I would get to know the midwives as much as possible. If, like me, you felt confident in the them then you could leave it in their hands to decide when/if you need to go in.

If little one turns then I will be back on for a homebirth. Like you I'm going through a similar process of what ifs. As I've said above the m/ws at my doctors have been fabulous so I've felt really happy with the decision so far. However I only live 20-30 minutes away from the hospital.....

Saying that dd needed a team of pediatrics (sorry guessing the spelling) - yet I still would choose a homebirth. why? Because I felt the hospital created the situation that resulted in dd needing the team and part of my desire to have a homebirth is to remove the stress.

I really hope I've helped.

Good luck in your decision process

Good luck in deciding.

[Wills]

Rhubarb, the only reason I've heard for differences because of a different partner was the likely hood of pre-eclampsia. I've always been told that pre-eclampsia only comes the first time with a partner not the second. However during this pregnancy people have refuted this statement so no I don't know. Presumably its because genetically half the baby is different???? Don't know - just guessing really.

[bells2]

I've suddenly decided to go for a home birth. After 2 fast and relatively straightforward deliveries, (first 2 hours 20 start to finish, second 55 minutes) I am feeling relatively blase about it although am of course aware that 3rd time around could be completely different. Aside from the midwife's pack, is there much DH and I should be doing in order to prepare?.

[3GirlsMum]

Bells my labours werent a similar way and luckily third went the same (although you would be surprised how many people told me that the third could be longer...dont know if they were trying to scare me or not..lol).

The things I got ready were:- An old quilt and cover for straight after the birth, a cheap shower curtain (99p at some supermarkets) and my mum and stepdad on hand to help look after eldest two!!! I was told that if I wanted any painkilling injection I had to arrange this through my doctor, but as I cant stand injections didnt bother with this.

Other than that the midwives brought everything around with them, including plastic sheeting for the bed and bin bags to put everything in after! Obviously just like in hospital you have to make sure you have an outfit read for when baby arrives. Good luck.

[bells2]

That's the answer I was hoping for!. Suddenly occurred to me that perhaps we should be going to refresher antenatal classes but I think we've left it too late now. Lots of people have told me that third time around can be the most difficult. I will no dount regret saying so but given how easy number 2 was, it just seems hard to believe at the moment.

[ames]

My Gp's were very anti my home birth although not to my face, (just made a rather flipant comment about me being crazy) rather in a letter to the other G.P's about me! (Same doctor didn't even know that midwifes don't carry pethadine anymore - hardly up to date!)
They did not come to the house to do his check-up I had to take him to the surgery.
My midwife said there was no way she'd put any of her 'ladies or babies' at risk so I would discuss any concerns with her. She's probably far more clued up than your doctor.
Dh was not over keen on a home birth and the only thing that convinced him it was a good idea was experiencing it.

[motherinferior]

Bells2 - I did buggerall this time round, just about got round to reading up on labour (if I'm honest didn't do much the first time either). Just get a hot water bottle!

Why are so many GPs and midwives being so crap about this? I've only just realised quite how lucky I was - I said Home Birth (almost flippantly at the time) and absolutely nobody queried it at all. Midwives, in fact, very very pro. DP, of course, not at the time!

[Pimpernel]

WWW - your GP doesn't sound keen, but GPs often aren't. I've never heard of the "more or less the same as a first pregnancy" bit before, but if it is true, then surely the question is would you choose to have your first baby at home? My dd was a first baby and was born at home.

Personally, I would feel inclined to check the ambulance time from another source - your GP may not have the most accurate information there.

[jasper]

www your gp may not necessarily be trying to put you off; perhaps she felt professionally obliged to put forward as many facts as possible because nowadays healthcare is so much about so called "informed choice". Medical personel are obliged to tell patients as much as possible and then it is often practically left up to the patient to decide! It would not be far fetched to imagine a woman choosing a homebirth which ran into complications requiring a hospital transfer and being cross with herGP for not telling her in advance how long the ambulance journey would take.
I came cross this( being presented with the case for such and such then having to make up my own mind) a lot in hospital with my babies and actually found it quite amusing.
Good luck with your choice.
I feel very excited on your behalf!

[Oakmaiden]

The "same as first time issue" is, as Wills says, about pre-eclampsia/eclampsia. You are at a higher risk of developing pre-eclampsia if this is your first pregnancy with a partner, or if you have had pre-eclampsia in a previous pregnancy.

That said, it is unusual for this to develop actually in labour - much more commonly it develops beforehand, and is thus hardly a factor to affect a decision about homebirth (unless you should happen to develop it).

About your GP's general doomsaying - firstly it is VERY difficult to say that a baby born in hospital and resuscitated would "not have survived" if born at home, because SO many factors are different that it just doesn't compare. So many things are done to women in labour in hospitals that are not done at home - and many of these can adversely affect the baby's condition at birth. So you are not comparing like for like. For example a baby stressed by syntocinon - so that it required extreme resus - would not have had the syntocinon at home and may thus not have become stressed. In my opinion it was very unfair of her to mention these specific cases to you - it is scaremongering, nothing less, because she can't have told you all the facts leading up to whatever the emergency was - probably she doesn't even know herself. And incomplete information is worse than no information in things like this.
And probably as a GP she won't have seen that many normal births - it is not a big part of their training, so unless she had a particular interest in the subject, she will have only seen the "interesting" (ie abnormal) ones.

[WideWebWitch]

Thank you so much all of you, I'm very grateful for these responses. Oakmaiden, I was hoping you'd see this, thanks, and my gut instinct was that GPs don't see many normal births and that she was scaremongering really. Katherine, I know, in some ways it is a good reason to go for home, the distance isn't it? Bells, home sounds like a good option for you since you're likely to be quick again and you're near a hospital. I can't think of anything I needed to do for a home birth first time round, good luck with it.Pimpernel, I did have my first at home, so the answer to that question is yes I guess! I was nearer a hospital that time though, hence my nerves this time. Were I nearer I really wouldn't hesitate. Bouncy, sorry about your friend but if hospital wouldn't have made any difference, it wouldn't have made any difference. I think I'll talk to my midwife again. Although if I do go to hospital I get who I'm given when I'm in labour so actually, if I'm going for hospital I needn't bother with any relationship with the midwives in my area - no point! Thanks all of you for the advice, I'll keep pondering. Wills, hope your babe turns - did you see the tips on motherinferior's thread? Actually, I seem to think you did since you say you've been crawling about!

[StripyMouse]

Just another point on this home birth safety issue - I really believe that being in hospital can lead to having more intervention than perhaps really needed and can actually create complications and risks. (I am not trying to knock the wonderful job that the doctors and other medical staff do in hospitals - just how I feel after my own experiences)

I

[Wills]

Me too StripyMouse

[princesspeahead]

hurrah, my babe has turned from breech to head down, so as long as it stays like that that is one less thing for me to worry about!

[3GirlsMum]

Thats great Princess will have my fingers crossed that baby stays the right way!

[Katherine]

Oh well done PPH - just need Wills bump to shift now. Brace yourself for more trips to the loo though I'm afraid

[princesspeahead]

him turning has definitely coincided with the onset of my heartburn though, boooo!

[bossykate]

pph, excellent news, you must be so relieved

[Wills]

PPH - Congratulations!

[3GirlsMum]

Go get in huge stocks of Gaviscon and pretend you are swigging your favourite spirit..lol!

[WideWebWitch]

Fab news PPH! Come on Wills, turn that one too!

[Pimpernel]

PPH - that's great - hurray !