Passive Birth !!

[mogwai]

Ok, so I know there's all this stuff about "active birth" and yoga, meditation, releasing your natural endorphins and riding on the crest of your waves of pain.

I really admire people who have the courage to embrace an "active birth"

Personally I feel that advances in medical technology have allowed me the luxury of wallowing in my own cowardice and I want all the pain relief I can lay my hands on.

Should I strat up a "passive birth" centre to advocate us cowards having as little as possible to do with the whole process, a random selection of cream cakes and DVDs in the delivery suite and a full bikini wax under epidural?

Who's up for that??

i think I'm a passive birth failure I agree with all of it but somehow ended up being all home birthy natural earth mothery (and hating it).

'm just jealous of people whose epidurals worked . mine did, a mere 5 hours and 4 attempts after requesting it. that was dd2. with dd3 had a natural home birth and still hated it. I still think an elective section sounds ideal.

this thread has made me laugh

I went into hospital with my first child (dd) desperate for all pain relief possible. I tried gas and air and all it did was make me throw up and feel very very giddy so I had to give that one up. Then I howled for an epidural (and I mean HOWL so much so that they had to bring in the chief midwife honcho to find out what this mad screaming woman wanted).

Lo and behold suddenly every anaesthestist was involved in an emergency - I didn't believe them. I kept saying what if I was an emergency. Anyway, this annoying banter went on between me and the midwives for about an hour with me screaming in agony threatening to cut the baby out myself if they didn't give me an epidural (baby was back to back labour) to them insisting there was no-one to help me. Then of course, suddenly they felt inside and I was ready to push and it was too late for an epidural. GGrrrr I was very pissed off and I'm still convinced that they deliberately denied me my lovely epidural!

Anyway, what that rambling message is trying to say is by all means, plan to go for every pain relief possible but keep in the back of your mind, the possibility that it won't be there for you!

Message withdrawn

hang on, hang on.. that bit nearly got missed. Teething gel before a wax?? Highlander... tell us... have you???

sereh, I've not actually tried teething gel before a wax, but I'm going to try it...... Beginning of July. Will keep you posted

Pruni - modern birth stool - now you're talking. Cream cake holder on one side and chilled beer holder on the other. And maybe a pop-up of George Clooney for when the going gets tough. Oh, and mabe a slot to store your fly swatter (to swat 'coaching' midwives).

I must warn you to stick by your principles, though. Like Fennel, I lapsed dreadfully from Passive Birth philosophy and ended up having a home birth second time round. Be warned. You too could end like this if you don't stay focused!

Highlander wrote: 'having put myself through a bikini wax beforehand' Mhmmmm, I'm not sure you can membership in this thread then. You are way to brave !

...and what do you mean they can't give you an epidural if they are busy?

Yikes, I think it'll be elective c/s for me then.

...and I'm also all for the savoury options on the trolley. Did you know that in Switzerland they have a 24 hour buffet for mothers and partners? - just think of all that gorgeous chees and chocolate. Not fair !

yeah i had to wait a while for mine because the anaesthetist was busy. then it didn't work so i had to wait for another one!

Oh SL, that's just not good enough, is it? We should demand a resident and personal epidural provider for all members of 'Passive Birth' ! We'll even share the cream cakes.

well.. i think perhaps we get an epidural on arrival. and then just a button we press to top it up as and when needed.

Oh Goody, then we don't have to share the cream cakes either !

exactly!

I would also like the rooms to be tastefully decorated. My hospital room was a bit skanky.

Hmm, if you have an epidural you can't walk around can you?

Perhaps our birthing chair is electric and we can move around in them and go and chat to the other labouring ladies... take tea and cake together!

Oh yes and there could be a cinema screen with really good girly movies (and hubbies and partners would have to sit through them, lol) and some nice pieces of art in each delivery room with a gorgeous art student from Sweden giving you (privately) a lecture on art appreciation ...

I have two children and have never had a contraction in my life - how passive is that - emergency c-sec 1st time and elective the second. And there will be a third no pain birth this summer. Most pain felt was sitting in bed afterwards, laughing so much at Victoria Wood on the telly, that the back of my bed collasped and almost split my tummy open again..........
Rock on chocolate digestives for me and dh bringing in take away Chinese to eat with me. (one night, he brought in a wine box and four glasses and we had friends over - before the birth) How passive is that!!!!!

just catching up...we nearly got hijacked back there! There's no shame in active birth at all, we passives have every respect for you hunkermunker, and Mears, as a midwife, we know you are worth your weight in gold.

Point is, we are enjoying wallowing in our cowardice.

I have also thought about the idea of the birthing stool in the past, particularly when I've been for a massage and had my head poking through the hole in the table. However, I'm not sure that having your undercarriage and landing gear poking through a hole is a good look, so I'm sitting on the fence on that one.

I do have an idea to patent a "birth burka" for those of us of a modest disposition, however. You know the sort of thing, a total body cover thing (like a poncho, only floor length), with a letter box-sized eye hole.

You can wear the birth burka throughout pregnancy, to avoid fashion disasters and to distract people from commenting on your expanding bottom, hips and hamster cheeks. Then during birth, you can just squat down, spread it around yourself and give birth (or in our case, you spread it around your passive body on the bed).

An added feature of the burka is that it has a pocket at ground level. If you squat down to give birth and accidentally poop , you just use the pocket to scoop it up, and nobody is any the wiser!

Any orders?

I'm so proud of this thread

I feel liberated from the happy-clappiness I always felt I needed for that "badge of honour". I'm wearing my passive badge with pride

I guess that is the advantage of going overdue and needing to be induced - you can demand the epidural before they do anything, can't you? If they're too busy to get the epidural in, they're too busy to induce...

(you want to talk to Aloha about what happens with elective sections if they are busy when you need it!)

Some things I remember reading somewhere; I wonder if anyone can tell me if they are true or not -

• in the 1940's rich women used to be given a general anaesthetic for labour - they dilated while unconcious and then they pulled the baby out with forceps. Is that complete fiction?

• some bit of research recently that showed there was no disadvantage to having an epidural at the first twinge - no need to wait for 4cm. Now that they need to research more. Where did I see that?

Wow...those 1940's women were REALLY passive.

Don't think it was just the rich ladies. My grandmother did it that way. And my mother was strapped to the bed with leather restraints. Not so much passive birth as captive birth.

well I ain't starting a captive birth thread....

I've honestly never heard of this. It makes my face go all again

There used to be a drug called "twilight sleep" which was a bit like rohipnol in that it made you forget about the entire experience. And the baby slept for the first three days which made things even easier. Not terribly healthy though.

which goes to prove that it's an experience you need to have no recollection of.

However, the passive birth centre aims to make things memorable for all the right reasons

Love this thread and I am looking forward to telling you all my fantastic passive birth story in October.

I have a friend who gave birth in the 1960's and had taken a really strong sleeping tablet the night before ("On prescription!") and her husband had to wake her up to tell her she was giving birth.

FABULOUS!

of course, you do realise, we may all have to eat our words when we cannot get EXACTLY what we want and when we want it, as someone has previously said.

I think we should have a whole message board to ourselves. This thread seems to have attracted similar people, all of whom appear to have a sense of humour , a sense of perspective and a willingness to admit their failings and laugh at themselves .

We need to stick together, it's a jungle out there!

Mog, I like the idea of a birth burka! I infact am wearing nearly the equivalent as we speak, a jalaba. Shall continue to wear this until Sunday or when I am induced! Good thinking.