Passive Birth !!

[mogwai]

Ok, so I know there's all this stuff about "active birth" and yoga, meditation, releasing your natural endorphins and riding on the crest of your waves of pain.

I really admire people who have the courage to embrace an "active birth"

Personally I feel that advances in medical technology have allowed me the luxury of wallowing in my own cowardice and I want all the pain relief I can lay my hands on.

Should I strat up a "passive birth" centre to advocate us cowards having as little as possible to do with the whole process, a random selection of cream cakes and DVDs in the delivery suite and a full bikini wax under epidural?

Who's up for that??

we have the iPOD loaded, we are ready to rock and roll!

What is it they won't shut up about, btw??

i remember all of mine chatting a lot.... don't really remember what about though as i was off my head on pethidine.

I was there for 14 hours though. I don't mind them talking per se... it's when they tell you you're doing really well...
she did stop saying "It's ok,.. you're ok" when i yelled "I'M NOT OK, I'M DYING" at the top of my voice. repeatedly.

LOL.

I was so out of it that TV probably wouldn't have been much help either.

I would definitely like a more "with-it" birth next time... maybe just slightly lower doses so that I am not completely doolally

I'm coming on to be an annoying (not so old) goat and say poo to the lot of ya I'm going to have a home birth, and no pain relief... Yer all wimps!!

Ok so I'm already demanding that I have enough gas and air stocked up here to kill a horse before I even think about going into labour

Oh and a really sad fact - I'm actually more scared of needles than the pain of birth, honestly, I screamed whenever they came near me with anything last time! The birth was nice in comparison!

pfft! we don't care!

no way i was gonna be in agony for 14 hours. Don't care if it does make me a wimp!!!
I was in so much pain that I didn't even care about someone sticking a massive needle in my spine (TWICE!)

I love this thread ! I feel I've found my home !

I always feel like such a looser around all these brave hero mothers who give birth without a squeak.

Mogwai,you are just hilarious !

No ammount of pain would stop me screaming, refusing, wailing, breaking DH's hand and screaming again at the sight of an epidural needle!!

You know I think I'm turning into Cod with this terrible typing thing... terrible. Anyway I think you're brave to have an epidural in the first place! But apart from that you're wimps! (I'm slightly jealous about the cream cake conveyor belt idea though)

What I wanted (3 years ago before I had dd and everything changed!) was:-

an epidural put in at the very very first sign of labour. What is all that waiting till you get to 4cm stuff about?

an epidural that was guaranteed to work - no risk of being paralysed on the bed and still in pain as several of my friends have been

an epidural that didn't increase the risk of a prolonged labour / distressed baby / caesarean

Since I couldn't get that, I planned a homebirth. Twice. One footling breech and one placenta praevia later, I haven't even been in labour. Extremely passive birth for me! I'll go straight for the cs next time I think. But they still don't let you have cream cakes. Even a glass of water would be good!

Fruitful, now you've freaked me out about epidurals also ... arghhhh ...

Ok, then a c/s perhaps?

Damnit, can't they make men have babies instead?

Or how about the Kangaroo method. Give birth to them at week 4, put them in a pouch, baby bjorn, aquarium until they are big enough to ... well go off to University?

TBH I wouldn't call a C-section a 'passive birth'...well afterwards can be pretty yucky anyway! There's no getting out of it now girls

Surrogacy anyone?

That would be getting someone else to be pregnant and give birth for you, obviously. Not offering to do it all for someone else!

I would like gas and air - fabulous stuff - without all the silly distraction of being in labour at the same time.

i hated gas and air. made my face feel all wobbly, and thought i would fall over. and it did nothing for the pain!

i love gas and air! wohoo! but the last birth was so quick and the pain so intense i wasnt breathing on it properly and ended up sort of hyperventilating on it!!! lol all these breathing exercises that antenatal classes get you to do may make you feel a bit daft to say the least, but when it comes to doing it for real, i was glad i'd had some practice first

What a fantastic thread!
I love gas & air but one drag too many and I start sniggering at the Dr about how last time I felt like this I ended up snogging pissed medical students!
PMSL at "apple-gate", Rochwen
There was something in the NCT magazine (I read it, the shame) about the pain of childbirth sending you into a sort of ecstacy. Hospitals have lovely chemicals which do the same thing, I say.
I'm going to be induced just before the new Harry Potter book comes out and I was too ashamed to ask them to hold back a day so I could read it in labour after having my epidural!

Gas and air is the way to go... far too scared of how I would behave if I had "proper drugs".
Not sure if it worked but I kept taking the biggest breaths of it that I possibly could.
I love the thought of the cream cakes, though I would have to be supervised other wise I would scoff the lot. ps the labour and delivery wasnt too bad for me but the hour or so in the delivery room before being taken to the ward was horrendous ... I hope its not like that this time, I wish I could have an epidural straight after the birth so I dont feel the after pains!

The gas and air really helped me... I had to remind myself to stop breathing it in after each contraction!

A cream cake afterwards would have been nice I must say, not just some stewed tea and a piece of cold toast.

I suppose that could be one advantage of a home birth, your dh (or someone else sympathetic) could get some in for you for afters.

Fastasleep, you have my respect. You are a far better woman than I am.

Am surprised that this thread has been allowed to continue without someone interrupting our merriment to tell us we are SO WRONG!!!!

I'll tell you two things that I know about childbirth and epidural. My dh is a doctor, and better than that, he's an anaesthetist. I guess I'm therefore biased towards pain relief...but so what? Anyhow, he has lots of textbooks, and I read them when he's not looking (a bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing, I know).

One of them says "the pain of childbirth for a first baby is similar to that of traumatic amputation". When I read that, my face did this . (I also wondered "how do they know?").

The second thing is that he thinks epidurals are great. He's done lots of them and has never caused a single complication yet. He did three during the night last night alone, while we were all fast asleep. He says the women are transformed from screaming banshees to reasonable human beings. What a great job!!

I've also just had a e-mail from a friend who had one last year. She felt no pain at all, even when pushing, just said the pushing was "hard work", a bit like "an hour of aerobics".

Well bring on the leotard. I've heard all I need to know. . I swear to god, if this form of pain relief was not available, I'm not sure I'd be pregnant. Am a wimp to the core.

As founder of the Passive Birth Centre, my aim is to campaign for epidural to be available in the patient's home, where we can watch the chavs on "The Springer Show" in familiar surroundings and without having to bear witness to the awful taste in nighties that some women have .

Does that sound reasonable???!!

hee hee.. this is the best thread I've read in ages! My epidural turned me from screaming banshee to (almost) reasonable human being (only a week later I discovered the hospital had to "detour" the tour of the labour suite that night to somewhere less off-putting for the mums to be (probably a different building).

Love the comment about no-one saying we're all "wrong" btw.

My epidural turned up as I was having 4 or 5 contractions every 10 minutes (about half an hour after breaking my waters, and due to the screaming banshee the anaethestist had to endure I got one which took a greater part of the edge off the pain rather than no feeling... shortly after I gave birth in about 3 pushes (after apologising profusely for thinking that I had "soiled" myself ).... after the contractions with no pain relief, this was a BREEZE! (hmmm, actually, what does this say about me?) Loved pushing him out - gave me a sense of achievement, but more than anything loved the fact that I couldn't feel a large part of it!!!

For all future children (I will never have) I will start an epidural at around 7 months pregnant... just in case.........

he hee

Maybe you are the screaming banshee my husband talked about!!!

Forgot to add that, in the passive birth centre, a "menu" of waxing treatments will be handed round just after the epidural sets in (you know, like when you're on a plane and they come round with a magazine and headphones as soon as the seatbelt sign gets turned off). This will list all of the waxing possibilities under anaesthetic - brazillian, airstrip, full landing gear (not sure if that exists, just go with it!)

We will then all turn out with nice smooth legs as well as our babies. After all, we'll be far too busy with our little cherubs to do anything about those legs after the birth.

excellent thread, i just cant cope with extreme pain- had an amazing epidural 8 years ago with dd1 bloody glad i did as she turned out to be 10lb 5oz!!! ouch. second time round i needed to be induced to prevent a 12lber! i got a VERY nice MW who got me an epidural at the same time the drip was put in so i didnt have much pain at all and it had worn off just enough so i could push dd2 out in 28 mins. whoever invented epidurals should have a knighthood

great idea about the waxing as by the end you cant actually see under your bump. my dh kindly[!] offered to neaten me up for the impending birth with a pair of kitchen scissors!!