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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Natural Birth? You can do it!

191 replies

boogs · 12/05/2003 14:42

My sisters' due in two days and it's got me thinking about my labour with dd. OK I'm not trying to blow my own trumpet here, I just want to pass on some info and knowledge I think all women should be aware of. Talking to friends/family who've had babies, it seems that alot of them get caught up in all the 'labour aid' possibilities. There's so much these days that can help us in labour, epidurals, gas'n'air, pethidine, etc, etc, that it's almost seen as inevitable to 'take' something during labour.
After having dd, and relaying my birth story I found that people were almost suprised that I didn't take any drugs, in any form, like 'how did she do it?' During the first stage I was at home, on a lovely shagpile rug on the floor, propped up against the bed. Dh gave me honey and hot water to keep me going cause I was there for a few hours. Each time a contraction came I got up on my knees and leant forward on the bed and got my lower back rubbed by dh. i was like this for hours, and I was really comfortable, and the pain was only bad when the contractions peaked. But when they died down, it was almost pleasurable. When I got to the hospital I was 9cm, and two hours later she was born. I was only pushing for 25 minutes. The crowning was really painful, like fire, but I didn't tear thank god!
I've heard so many scare stories about women who've had an epidural early on, which has lead to other forms of 'painkillers' and ended up having c/s, because they were so drugged up and numbed that they had no strength to finish.
My point is that a natural birth is attainable for any woman, even if you have a low pain threshold. Labour is painful no matter what, and I reckon it's better to feel the pain and control it than to have some drugs control it for you.
'New Active Birth' by Janet Balaskas is a brilliant book that helped me achieve childbirth without intervention and drugs which sometimes make things harder than they have to be.
It makes me feel sad that so many women opt for ceasarians without even trying to do it naturally which is better for mother and child. I'm not putting anyone down for any intervention they decide to take on, of course it's each woman's choice but I think more women should have faith and confidence in their natural ability to give birth.
Raspberry leaf tea, perenial massage, yoga, deep breathing, back massage, upright positions (instead of lying back on the bed in a pasive position) are all natural ways of controlling the pain of labour.
I hope this doesn't sound like a lecture, but I know I've given my sister confidence to try it naturally, and wanted to give anyone who's in doubt or scared some encouragement and advice.
Good luck to everyone who's expecting, and just trust in yourself!

OP posts:
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eyelash · 13/05/2003 16:17

Ninja - don't be hard on yourself. You successfully delivered a healthy daughter and have the exciting prospect of many new and exciting days/years ahead. Don't let, what you deem to be, a clouded birth experience affect this precious time. I assume you have had advice from the midwife on how best to heal your cut - you could do a thread on here to get advice. The best advice I had for my tearing with ds1 was when weeing pour a jug of warm water against your vagina as this stops it stinging and dry off afterwards with a hairdryer - this also helps the healing process. As Rhubard has suggested get in touch with the local NCT - they can be a great support.

Boogs - It wasn't your post which put me off a natural birth but the general tone of the replies to your original note. I actually have two ds - first in hospital long labour, pethidine which stopped everything, 3 changes of shift, flat on my back, legs in the air. But healthy ds1 (9lbs 6ozs). DS2 (8lbs 9ozs) born at home, gas and air, Tens and bath as pain relief- I considered this a natural birth but the pain relief options I used helped take the edge off. I loved being at home and midwifes had completely different attitude to whole experience.

Eyelash was my nickname in school not because I had long ones (unfortunately) but my then boyfriend had eyebrows akin to Liam Gallagher! So you get the gist.

Great debate!

morocco · 13/05/2003 17:10

just wanted to add
thanks for the post boogs - maybe next time I'm expecting I can use examples like yours as an inspiration for the next, hopefully not c section, birth.

boogs · 13/05/2003 17:46

Ninja, I appreciate your courage in telling your story, esp. since it's still so recent and understandably emotional. Big hugs!

NO woman who's given birth is a failure, Please don't let my, or anyone else's comments get you down. I'm so sorry! You've got a beautiful baby, and you're recovering from the birth so where's the failure? I know, to give birth without drugs, etc is an ideal, and I realise now that's it's not for everyone, but this isn't an ideal world. Shit happens! Ideals are there to give us hope and guidance, not to stand in judgement over us.

You did what was best for you and your baby and so you should feel very proud of and empowered by what you achieved. Just think, about it. You gave birth and you're both fine. Keep smiling!

Pupuce, you're on my wavelength!

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pupuce · 13/05/2003 18:06

Ninja - why do you feel like a failure? You gave it your best shot.... and you were (presumably) VERY tired from your long labour and tried your hardest... hey it could have been the drip, forceps or section....
I have just helped 2 women who after 24 hours + had a section.... not their ideal scenario (one of them had a previous section) but when you are stuck you are stuck.... and for both these women I (their birth partner) feel in hindsight I could have done this or that or should have said this or that.... but you know what is most important? These 2 women feel they tried Damn hard! And they did... I am all pro natural and in both cases I would have handled their labour differently if they were my labours (which they were not and I was not the one in pain!) - but I genuienly think the outcome would not have been different. For one of those I -and the OB and MW - now feel she probably has a pelvis problem.... and for the other.... it's a slightly different story but SHE was stuck with an anterior lip and I don't know if another 5 hours of labours would have made any difference to her cervix (she had been stuck for 4 hours with the same problem).

Ninja- The vast (and I do mean vast) majoprity of women who have a labour like yours the first time have a doddle the second time around.... you will (as I did) have such great memory of labour number 2....

However you need to get the sad feelings out of your system, talk to your MW or HV, tehy will listen. You can speak to an AN teacher or a doula.

Enjoy your baby!

BTW - I don't know if you know this but the fact that you avoided an epdirual and the drip your body made all the oxytocyn and endorphins it needed and that is EXCELLENT for you and baby.

Thanks Boogs

ninja · 13/05/2003 18:33

Thanks for all the support folks - I have to say that I was lucky that the midwives and my dp were very supportive and positive and really did try everything. Giving birth with my legs in stirrups was just the opposite of what I wanted, but you're right I do have a beautiful baby girl who remarkably satyed calm throughout the whole experience (she survived it better then me!). It's just when I read things about how to avoid tears and cuts etc that I just think could I have done anything different (aside from massaging with wheatgerm, raspberry tea, optimal foetal positioning, ......)

You're right pupuse the main thing at the end was tiredness and for some reason she seemed to be stuck - I seemed almost to be noddong off inbetween the pain. I guess psrt of the guilt is that at that point I felt like I would have taken a c-section if offered, and that's a horrible feeling to wish for.

Afterwards one of the first things my dp said was that we never had to have any more children and at the time that seemed like a good idea I have to say 8 days on the memory hasn't gone but my beautiful daughter may change my mind

As I say again Boogs it is inspiring to hear of your experinces and Thanks for giving me the opportunity to get mine off my chest.

pupuce · 13/05/2003 18:35

Hey - I begged for an epidural and a section with 24hour labour, no one is pefect

nobby · 13/05/2003 18:37

I think if the midwife had offered to hit me over the head with a mallet I would have accepted gratefully .

boogs · 13/05/2003 18:48

No problem Ninja!

OP posts:
ninja · 13/05/2003 18:53

nobby - you're absolutely right. In fact that's what my dp said to me

SueW · 13/05/2003 19:15

Can I just correct Rhubarb's point about NCT offering postnatal counselling or birth crisis workshops - this isn't something offered by all branches.

However, there is the Birth Crisis Network which may help. The telephone numbers are on the web page.

Eulalia · 13/05/2003 20:24

I agree about the interventions to some extent. My ds came naturally at 8 days late. Labour was fairly good for a first birth although I did have one shot of pethadine (gas and air doesn't work for me).

Next time round I was so relaxed and ironically feel that I could have done it at home but couldnt due to circumstnaces. During labour I was actually falling asleep during contractions and this was without any pain relief.

However I had to be induced. I say had to be but not sure it was nececessary. I delayed the date so that I was 15 days past my date. I had a cervical sweep which didn't work. As it turned out I only had one dose of prostin gel and nature did the rest (no drips etc and in fact I did most of the labouring in an ordinary ward without a monitor reading a magazine as the Labour Ward was fully booked!) So just want to point out that inductions are not horror stories for all. Ithink it does depend on how overdue you are - my cervix was very soft and I was very ready to give birth. I feel the date for inductions should be moved forward (unless medically necessary) as it makes things so much easier.

I did have one short of morphine again for 2nd birth but more out of choice as it helped me to relax (barely had time for it to take effect though! as dd came sooner than anticipated).

Its all a question of balancing things - yes some drugs may make labour slower but if it is going to make the whole experience more enjoyable and easier then why not? If I'd known dd was going to be so quick then I'd not have bothered but we don't have foresight in giving birth!

boogs - thanks for your positive story. I know it is difficult to balance being positive, giving encouragement and not sounding preachy. I have had similar problems when talking about breastfeeding as I feel it is something that practically all women can do (if they want to that is) but this is also an emotive issue also ...

Anyway good luck to your sister - keep us posted on how the birth went.

Ghosty · 13/05/2003 21:09

Just wanted to add a bit ...
This is a great discussion ... no real nasty bits anywhere and lots of respect flying around ... see, when it comes to discussions like this Mumsnetters are truly fab ...
Boogs ... like I said, you haven't offended me ... I am just jealous that I couldn't have the positive experience you have had ... maybe I will one day, maybe I won't but for me now the point is to have a healthy baby (and sane -ish mummy) at the end and really I don't care how it comes out ...
I think that you have tackled this delicate subject really tactfully and diplomatically and I seriously don't believe any of us c/s-ers are upset about it ...
FWIW I do agree with you about those women to choose c/s the first time round for no reason ... don't know why anyone would want to do that ...
BUT I also agree with whoever said that it is ok for people to be frightened of pain and why shouldn't they choose to have pain relief? My best friend had a laparoscopy once and spent 5 days in bed after ... I told her 'God knows what you will be like when you have a baby and you better not have a c/s' She agreed (has never had a high pain threshold ... used to scream the house down after a small graze on her knee when we were kids) and chose to have an epidural with her first child ... so the birth was sweetness and light and she was radiant when I went to see her. I am sure that she would have lost the plot had she had to suffer a lot of pain ... she is just not strong like that and is the first to admit that she is a total lightweight ...
Anyway ... back to the way you have handled this topic boogs ... have you ever considered a career in politics? I vote Boogs for PM!!!

JayTree · 13/05/2003 21:30

Boogs - meant to post yesterday - thanks for sharing your story, while I realise that the natural birth may not always be possible, your story inspired my dh and i to spend a lot of yesterday evening having a heart to heart about what went wrong with our first labour and birth (waters broken artificially, pain relief that I had never planned to take, feelings of out of control, labouring lying flat on my back in a hospital bed, ventouse, episiotomy etc. etc. etc.). It made us realise that rather than be frightened into wanting even more pain relief in form of epidural this time round, maybe the other direction would suit us better - ie. home birth and water pool. Spent this afternoon talking with my midwife who is so encouraging and supportive - fingers crossed that my pregnancy will cont. to run smoothly and that it may be possible. I now feel so much more confident and positive about my pregnancy now that I have thought more carefully about the final stages. Thank you for triggering it all off.

JayTree · 13/05/2003 21:32

just re read that one - sorry about crap grammar - have a sleepy baby on my knee and typing too fast...

willow2 · 13/05/2003 22:01

Ninja - are you ok? I mean physically? Sorry to pry, but you sound really shaken up - much as I was just over three years ago after wanting a natural birth and ending up butchered. Don't know if I'm reading too much from your last post - but if you've been damged - physically or mentally - there's a lot of help out there and I might be able to point you in the right direction.

boogs · 13/05/2003 23:09

Muchas gracias Guys! I feel like it wasn't all in vain now. I guess the thing to do is to keep an open mind, whichever method you decide to 'try', and be positive.

All the best to you Jaytree, home is the most comfortable place to be after all, so sounds like a good plan.

I keep hearing my m/w saying in a whiny Caribbean accent 'don't be afraid, I want you to push'. Cause I was really tired and lost when it came to the second stage. I would have done anything she said at that moment in time. Still, 'tis a fond memory.

My sister's due tomorrow so I'm waiting by the phone (better get off Mumsnet then, eh?). Will take all the wisdom of these postings with me, in heart and mind, and I'll hopefully be of some use to her. She's only wants me to take piccies anyway, but I'll probab be crying from both fear and delight, so I'll think she'll end up with details of the floor tiles. Anyone would think I was giving birth! Will keep y'all posted.

OP posts:
pupuce · 13/05/2003 23:12

Will you be with her durng her labour? That would be the best support !

boogs · 13/05/2003 23:21

Yeah Pupuce. She originally wanted me to photograph the real thing, close ups, crowning, the lot, but I said I couldn't do it cause I'd feel too intrusive. She's since let me off the hook, and settled for (hopefully) shots of heavy breathing, screaming, just atmospheric stuff. I think I'm gonna find even that difficult cause IMO childbirth is a private, almost solitary time. But dsis differs and always wants everything on camera! Even her labour. Each to her own, eh?

OP posts:
boogs · 13/05/2003 23:23

Yeah Pupuce. She originally wanted me to photograph the real thing, close ups, crowning, the lot, but I said I couldn't do it cause I'd feel too intrusive. She's since let me off the hook, and settled for (hopefully) shots of heavy breathing, screaming, just atmospheric stuff. I think I'm gonna find even that difficult cause IMO childbirth is a private, almost solitary time. But dsis differs and always wants everything on camera! Even her labour. Each to her own, eh?

OP posts:
pupuce · 13/05/2003 23:44

Just be there for her... she will be immensely grateful!

When one is observed in labour, we produce adrenalin which hinders oxytocyn release... which is what makes you labour effectively - HIDE the camera

boogs · 14/05/2003 00:03

Thanks for the tip, Pupuce. Unfortunately, the camera is why I'm gonna be there due too dsis' request, so hiding it's gonna be near impossible. Believe me, dsis is gonna be telling me to take the snaps of her doing her breathing, squatting, pushing. Wish us luck! I'm sure I'm gonna be a crap labour photographer, but she'll never forgive me if I mess it up. She's gotta do the hard stuff anyway, right?

OP posts:
boogs · 14/05/2003 00:07

Will inform dsis re. science stuff, but don't know if it will make any difference! She's got a 'labour photo album', and really loves documenting the whole ordeal. Not my cuppa tea at all, tho!

OP posts:
pupuce · 14/05/2003 08:10

Can we see thw piccies then ? :0

pupuce · 14/05/2003 08:11

I meant

CAM · 14/05/2003 08:28

A note about pethidine, some people here have said it slowed their labours down, well it didn't in my 2 cases. I think its because it made me more relaxed so actually things happened more easily for me.