First time home birthers and their support squad

[jollyjoanne]

Not a homebirther personally but wanting to offer support to Boobz and others who are going for a home birth . . .

You're doing really well to stand up for your rights honey

my mw said if they were attending another birth, I should call the Birth Centre and they will send someone out from a neighbouring community midwife team. She was insistent that I will not be denied a homebirth due to her team already having their hands full.

39weeks yesterday and chronic tiredness has set it, prob more to do with DS getting up early than anything else though. I get up with him every day but Sunday and Monday, when DH gets up with him, because DH is working on American time so doesn't get to bed til about 4am at the moment. But told DH I need him to take up some slack from next week - thankfully due date falls on thanksgiving and everyone's taking a long weekend in America so he won't have much work to do. Am so looking forward to not being up and making breakfast by 6:15am every morning! Although we live in a tiny 2 bed flat so it's a bit difficult not to be woken...

Thanks mousey I wasn't going to bother because I'm bloody-minded & I know I won't be talked into going to hospital on the day but when I mentioned it to my MW she was very eager & said that more women need to complain for changes to be made. I was a bit worried they'd put me on a list of trouble-makers but there's nothing they can do to me & they know I'm not afraid of complaining so hopefully they'll be more careful not to make any mistakes with me.

We have one of the highest HB rates in the country down here but when it comes to borrowing MW's from neighbouring teams I do wish we were back in London as they're all so far apart. At my booking appt when I first mentioned wanting a HB & being deadset against going to hospital I was told there was always the option of going to the birthing centre in North Cornwall...at least an hour away

38 weeks today & I'm still working but have decided to take ML in a week which I'm really looking forward too :)

wow amazing you're still working! With DS I finished at 37 weeks but then did a week R&D at Sadlers Wells (which involved sitting on my arse pressing play on an ipod!), this time I haven't worked since my last contract ended at the beginning of October, and thank god!

You def should continue complaining, and good for you on a personal level standing your ground too - boobz the first time had to have her husband on the phone demanding they send out midwives, and that was in London, pathetic really....but also the shortage of midwives does make you feel a bit guilty, I think you're doing magnificently

Race is on - where's MrsArch? I'm sure she's due now...

Hi all. nothing doing here sadly. I am 40+2 or 39+2 depending if you believe my thermometer back in Feb or the nhs dating scan. I think my proper due date is more like this Sunday. I'd really like to have this baby now!!

I have mild period pains on and off and felt restless last night but nothing else. Sigh...

Hello. I'm now 38 + 4 and SO ready to have this baby out! No 1 was induced 2 weeks late though so not looking hopeful.

I'm having a hbac after much resistance from the hospital! Well, I will be,but I don't yet have a "pack" or anything. I will have to insist they bring things with them if I go into labour over the weekend. I really hope I don't have to wait another month!!!

using I too am having a HBAC (hopefully a HWBAC). I got so much stick from the NHS, we've gone for a private midwife cos I'm a bit of a wuss. Glad you're going for it. NICE guidelines say VBAC should be treated the same as a first time labourer. Risk of rupture is sooooo low. Pulse racing and grey face is the first sign of problems rather than babay's heartrate.

When my consultant actually lied to me about the risk of rupture, that was the last straw for me and we sold a kidney and went private :)

that is mental MrsARch but you hear of scare stories being made up all the time by consultants - I just don't get why they don't leap at the chance to free up a hospital bed when one of us wants to have our baby at home? Have any of you read Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf? It's about pregnancy and ante-natal care in America (but frequently mentions Britain too) and it's terrifying the lengths some consultants will go to to keep control of women in labour in hospital - the unnecessary intervention rates are insane, and according to the WHO the US came 41st in a study into infant and maternal mortality!! Mental and makes me so grateful to be having my baby here and on the NHS.

I'm knackered - 39+2 today and DS has got up at stupidly early times all week. Really missing the ability to sleep and rest when I wanted in the run up to first labour, every night I go to bed praying I won't go into labour "just let me have one good night's sleep before it kicks off" just so worried I won't have the energy to deal with it otherwise!

Hi MrsA - I would have loved an IM. We are unbelievably broke (and unexpectedly pregnant ;) ) but we've gone for a trainee doula so there will be someone with us. I can't believe the fight I've had though, and every time I've seen anybody they're come out with phrases like "that's nice dear but you do know if you have a catastrophic rupture your baby will die don't you so we don't recommend it".....and each time I doubt for a moment, and then come back to the research! Its madness. Really glad to hear you're going ahead with it - it seems IMs in general really don't have any problem with HBACS!!! I want to hear your story if you get there before me :)

The irritating thing is my mw and SoM are very very pro home birth and natural birth and can see why I'd want one but are following party line about VBACs which is what keeps making me doubt. Anyway - I saw the hospital on wednesday finally and that was the last straw. It's horrid - whitewashed small cells with a loo along the corridor...... so I'm having this baby at home for definite - no more fence sitting (bar transfer/emergency).

Love hearing people's stories and its seems there's a quite a few a bit further on than me on the thread so looking forwards to hearing it all.

I'm not quite 39 weeks but I'm still hoping each night...!!

Hi, can I join? Its my EDD today (Sunday)!

Hi collie sounds like you've lost your mucus plug! Exciting, though it can be a while till things start. Just keep a balance of being active and resting and eat as well as you can.

It's around my due date too and I'm very ready for this baby but he will come when he comes. Try not to focus on pain. Yes it will hurt but many women report the contractions are more like energy rushes bringing your baby closer. Remember just because it take you some hours to get to, say, 4cm - the rest of labour could be quick. That's just an example - I've heard of women assuming if it took them 10hrs to get to 4cm then it must be another 10 hrs at least to get fully dilated and they panic IYSWIM. Try to keep calm and your birth pool is almost as effective as an epidural for pain relief. Not that I've done it yet but it's what is keeping me positive!!

Hi all - update us when you can collie, hopefully you've had your baby by now!!

How are you doing MrsArch, psydoneum and honey? Any of you popped yet? AM due on Thursday and no sign - yesterday I was an emotional and physical wreck after a bad night with DS and trying to do too muhc but an afternoon lying on a duvet on the floor watching telly, bed at a reasonable hour and sleeping til 8am has made it all better again!

Opinions please - I want to book myself in for reflexology to naturally induce labour once I'm over due (worked for DS, though appreciate it might not work again). I was going to wait until I was 41weeks because even though DS was 10days late he was under 8lbs and covered in vermix, didn't look like an overcooked baby at all, so I dont want to force this one out before she's ready. BUT I really don't want an induction and I really don't want a December baby (this is ridiculous) so thinking of booking in for Friday, knowing full well it may not work - but am I being silly feeling guilty about trying to 'force' her out before she's ready?

Or am I just going through late pregnancy madness, with nothing else to think about????

Nothing to report here sadly. Am 100% ready now - tesco coming today and birth pool partially blown up. Had mild period pains on and off for the past 4 weeks, so just want them to ramp up!!!

It is nice doing nothing for a while as DD's in nursery but I have been off work now for 2 weeks, so am getting bored.
Per nhs dating scan I am not 40 weeks till tomorrow but I know that is wrong and I'm more likely to be 40+2 or 3 today.

I've been having acupuncture and she's on hols now, back on Friday so I will be seeing her next Monday of nothing by then.
Know what you mean about a dec baby, i just want baby to arrive so we have a few weeks before xmas - don't want his birthday to get tied up in xmas.

Off to have a crumpet and watch merlin on sky+ :)

right, I've booked in the reflexologist for Friday - if nothing else I'll get a nice foot rub out of it!

hmmmm crmpets sound good, might send DH out for some later (he's promised to cook a rull on roast, with crackling and EVERYTHING tonight, whoop whoop)

So had yoga this morning and there was a new first time mum there, about 15weeks. At the end of the session our teacher brings us tea, bicuits and fruit and we all have a bit of a chat. Aforementioned mum suddenly got very defensive at the mention of homebirths (Out of 5 of us there I'm the only one planning one), quote "I've made the decision that I couldn't live with myself if something went wrong and I wasn't at hospital, especially for my first baby". We'd been talking about the different midwife teams in the area and how mine are pro homebirth but are also taking on hospital mums-to-be and regardless of where you give birth, the care they give is nothing short of amazing, pre and post natally. I've no idea where her defensiveness came from and she probably didn't hear how it sounded to me, but I hate it when those choosing to give birth in a hospital say stuff like that, knowing there's someone in the room who chose to homebirth first and second time, because it makes ME sound horrid and selfish. I couldn't give a rat's arse where anyone else gives birth, but it did upset me a little. You're in a yoga class for goodness sake, have a bit of tact when one woman there is planning her second homebirth and another has ust expressed an interest in doing more research on it.

Oh girl I hear you! Women should give birth where they feel the most safe. For many women that will be hospital, for some that will be home. both are valid.
I have to bite my lip when people say - 'aren't you brave having a homebirth'. i want to say 'I think you're brave going into hospital!'

My friend had her 2nd by ELCS 2 weeks ago as she had such an horrific time with her first (3rd degree tear, badly stitched etc). that was right for her but then her DH was a well-meaning arse who said - we later found out it was a good job it was a section as the cord was wrapped around baby's neck to tightly he would have died any other way.
Well, gee thanks for that. Firstly, I doubt it would have been fatal but secondly, he knows I'm about to have a HB and don't need to hear things like that!!

I was hoping you'd be on here with a birth story MrsA!! I'm "due" monday but went over by just over 2 weeks with no 1 before being induced.... I am hoping this one comes naturally.

I had a worrying phonecall today though saying that the trust was stopping the home birth service at night this week until at least saturday. Apparently they are very short staffed and see it as a safety issue so will only be doing day homebirths.

Er I was so hoping to have my baby this week (ok in all likelihood I'm going to go "over) and most come at night, and it would be convenient with DD1...!! I guess if I go into labour I'll keep my legs crossed until morning...!?

using I am sorry your local trust has said that but to be blunt, it's not your problem. If you go into labour get DG or your doula (if you have one) to call and insist they send someone. If they ask you to come in, politely refuse and say youl be waiting at home for the mw to arrive. They have a legal obligation to send a mw and cannot refuse. They will try to insist you come in but stand your ground - they will not leave you alone, even if they say they have no one. What happens if you labour during the day and go into the night? Will the mw just leave? I don't think so! Be strong!

oops DG = DH!

Thanks MrsA - I'm thinking it all through (again!!). My main worry is that they do want 2 experienced mw at the birth which they are planning for.... and if I sit here and insist it could be just a paramedic....

I might start off by telling them I'm having it (don't know sex yet) at home and then see how it progresses. If it wasn't a vbac I think I'd just have it at home anyway and do the insisting thing. Thing is its not something I want to worry about in labour!

Still - I want to hear everyone else's birth stories. I'm trusting baby will hold off..>!!

It absolutely won't just be a paramedic using - look back at the beginning of this thread (which was a live labour thread for boobz's first homebirth) she was told there were no midwives, DH calmly told the hospital they had a duty of care and they would expect someone at their home. 15mins later they got a call saying 2 midwives were on their way....

Hi everyone, thanks mousey for checking on me!

So thankfully my latent labour did progress into labour and I'm overjoyed to announce the birth of our baby boy Isaac! He was born on Monday at 3.17 at home in the pool. It was amazing. Care was outstanding! Do you want me write my story?

mousey good luck with the reflexology on Friday, I had decided to ring around on Monday too, to see if i could find somewhere to go at the end of the week, so don't think you're too early. And as you say good excuse for a well deserved foot rub if nothing else!!

Congratulations! Would love to hear the story. Much baby happiness x

Morning! No baby yet & I'm too tired & emotional to labour today so LO can stay put. It's my last week of work & I've had a complete turnaround from wanting baby out right now to wanting at least a week of lying on sofa ML before they arrive. Mousey We had a birth on the Dec bus on Monday though, an early one...due after me but baby is doing well.

using I'm a miserable sod this morning so I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear & I hate to contradict mousey but there are paramedics delivering babies down here (Cornwall) when MW's aren't available because my trust does not use a bank of MW's. MrsArch is right to say that they will not leave you alone but as for their legal obligation, it's a bit of a grey area...they do have to send you someone; but in an emergency situation they can send you paramedics. Chances are they will probably send you a MW but I just thought you should be aware that it's not always the case; at least not down here.

Oh, missed your news Collie...congratulations :)

Congrats Collie I'd love to hear your story.

MrsA my DD2 had her cord wrapped around her neck at our homebirth 6 weeks ago. She was fine, no one worried