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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

First time home birthers and their support squad

999 replies

jollyjoanne · 21/03/2009 20:17

Not a homebirther personally but wanting to offer support to Boobz and others who are going for a home birth . . .

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KellyKettle · 20/10/2011 19:13

Nipple stimulation! I think feeding DD1 brought on my labour. I think you have to rub each one with a warm, wet flannel for an hour.

Eeeek! Good luck! Smile

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 20/10/2011 23:15

find out the pressure points on your ankles and feet too

Boobz · 21/10/2011 05:54

Any news this morning Jojo??

KellyKettle · 21/10/2011 12:12

Ooh long silences are always a good sign Grin

KellyKettle · 22/10/2011 18:15

Ok, finally I'm posting my story!

So you know I'd been losing bits of plug and had a show. DH stayed home from work on the Friday when I had my show just in case. We had a nice day as a family, got some last minute bits and went for lunch.

On Friday evening my brothers came to visit, we all sat around eating pizza and chatting. I had some awful Braxton Hicks which seemed to freak out my poor SIL.

DD and I went to bed really early. I'd been awake since 3am and felt exhausted. DD woke me at 1:30am for milk. She nursed for an hour by which time I was having contractions so I told her I'd have to stop.

She hadn't eaten much the day before so DH took her down for breakfast (at 2:30!) and I dozed between contractions which were roughly every 15 mins. I found them manageable bit I still had to breathe through them more or less from the start.

At 5am I thought I'd check on DH. He looked exhausted but DD was happily playing on the sofa bed. So we swapped, he went to bed and I sat up with DD. She asked to feed at 5:30am so I fed her to sleep, which fortunately was very quick and then dozed next to her on the sofa bed.

I was still having regular contractions but was coping. Eventually I got up and made a cup of tea and emptied the dishwasher.

I think it was about 8am when I decided to just give my MW a headsup and text my stepmum asking if she would watch DD for the day.

I told the MW not to come out yet (she's 40 mins away). We got DD dressed and she, very reluctantly, went to her grans. Actually, she was very upset and I felt terrible about sending her away. I had one more contraction and then it all just stopped. So then guilt set in for sending DD away in tears and changing my step-mums plans and waking my MW.

DH and I decided to walk to the shop, about a mile and a half each way, to see if it started things again. It didn't. We got back at about 9:30am, DH made tea and toast and we cuddled in bed and slept until 11:30am which was actually lovely!

At about half 11 I was woken by quite a strong contraction and jumped out of bed to breath and lean on the wall.

We'd already partially filled the pool and put the cover on. We came downstairs, pottered around, had some lunch. The contractions were still every 15 mins so I just thought it was slow labour/false alarm .

By mid-afternoon I was finding the backpain a bit much so DH suggested a shower. It was brilliant at helping my back pain so I stayed in for ages. I asked him if he'd called the MW and just get her to check the baby's heartbeat and position. I also asked that he call my step-mum and ask for DD to come home.

I got out of the shower and he came in and said MW was on her way and that DD was sleeping but would be home soon. Stepmum mentioned she'd had a fall when climbing to get a balloon and banged her eye on the table.

DD (2.9) arrived home just before the MW got here. Her eye had some blood crusted in the corner, was almost swollen closed and just black. I was so devastated and just sobbed. I'd sent her away thinking I was going to have the baby that day and for nothing. No baby, massive black eye. And you know when you just know it would have been one of those moments when your child just wanted you.

So I was sobbing quite uncontrollably when they MW arrived. She was really calming, hugged me and said "these things happen and she's fine now look". I was glad she was there.

So this was 5pm. She observed a few contractions, felt the baby (still LOT and slightly oblique, not engaged) but HB fine and I was ok (urine, bp etc).

DH made dinner for us all but I skipped it and continued to contract every 15 mins. At about 7.30pm DH took DD for a bath and the MW asked what I wanted her to do - leave me in peace or stay. She said she'd do whatever I wanted.

I really couldn't decide. I knew I wasn't in the zone because I was chatting between contractions and generally doing ok.

She suggested I get in the pool (which was till 40 degrees despite being filled hours before). I said it felt far too early to get in the pool and I was worried it would slow things down. She said if that happened I could just get out.

So I wandered around the house collecting lamps for the kitchen and the MW set up the resus stuff on the dining table.

I wasn't quite sure what to do, do I strip off or get in with a top on... I decided that if she hadnt seen my boobs by now after me breastfeeding my toddler at virtually every visit then it would be a miracle. And anyway, she was going to see it all soon anyway.

So I got in naked. It was 8:30pm. The pool was lovely. I just floated around a bit and my contractions slowed slightly at first but after a short amount of time they picked up again.

I found them much more manageable in the warm water but still felt they weren't getting to be anything like "real labour". At this point the back up MW arrived and I was a bit surprised because I thought I was going to be ages yet.

DD appeared in the kitchen with DH really upset. She wanted to get in the pool. So in she got, she loved it. Bouncing around singing "I'm deep, I'm deep, I'm deep!". But she wanted to bounce on me when I had contractions and it was too hard so I asked DH to take her out.

I laboured a bit longer and she appeared again, really sobbing asking for mummy milk. I was going to say no but I could tell she was tired and thought if I could feed her to sleep I might get some peace.

I got out of the pool and had a contraction. Out of the water was so hard. I fed DD on the sofa and had 3 contractions in fairly quick succession.

I eventually said I couldn't take anymore and she went upstairs with DH. I practically dived back into the pool.

I don't remember much after this. Contractions were still ok, didn't feel closer together but my notes say they were 3 in 10 mins.

I started to shake, my legs were uncontrollable and I remember laughing and telling the MW. Then I felt a bit sick so she passed me a bowl. I wasn't actually sick so I dismissed any hopes of it being transition.

Then suddenly I felt a bit pushy. Only a bit, and mentioned it to the mw. She didn't seem surprised and said to just go with it.

The next thing I felt this massive thing in my birth canal. Wow! I hadnt really thought about what it would feel like to feel the baby move down. Then my body just started pushing. It was such an intense feeling, I was quite surprised and my contractions hadn't got as bad as I anticipated so I had expected to be hours. I hadn't even got to the gas and air!

She seemed to move down fairly quickly and then I felt her crowning. Then she popped back in. The MWs encouraged me to move from all fours to lean back into a squat. She crowned and popped back in again and then with the next contraction her head was out.

The MW asked if I wanted to look down at my baby's head or touch it - something I expected to do - but I was so surprised she was almost here that I couldnt do it.

I noticed that DH and DD were there watching and went back to closing my eyes.

The MWs then encouraged me to stand for the next contraction which pushed her body out and seemed never ending and then out she came!

I vaguely noticed the MW unravelling the cord from her neck and then she told me to lift my leg so she could pass the baby underneath to me.

I sat back in the water and someone suggested I have a look at what I had. I admit, at first glance, I thought she was a boy and was a bit confused when DH said a girl after I said "is it a boy?". The second stage had only been 20 minutes.

I cuddled her in the water and was just a bit stunned. It was 10:55pm.

After 20 mins I wanted to get out. I stood to get out and found my leg muscles so exhausted and cramping I couldn't get out. DD1 was stood waiting for me to get out and said "mummy your vagina's wet". I had to sit back in the water because laughing made my contractions worse.

I stood again, got out and out came the placenta, caught in a potty by a quick-reflexed MW.

I was examined on the sofa: 1 degree tear and a graze. I opted not to have them stitched.

DD1 asked for milk and to go to bed. So on went the paper knickers and I walked DD1 upstairs to bed while DH carried DD2.

It was midnight now so DD1 fed to sleep in seconds and I got into bed with DH and DD2 while the mw made tea and toast and tidied up. It was just lovely. DD2 latched on really easily which was something I'd worried about.

DH & I couldn't stop talking about it all and we eventually went to bed at 2:30am. He went and slept on the sofa bed and I had the kingsize bed with the DDs.

I think I am still on a bit of a high from it all. I keep crying at the thought of not seeing my mw again. She's visited quite a few times and is coming again tomorrow.

So that's it, sorry for the delay! It just took so long go write because I'm not particularly concise!

nannyl · 22/10/2011 20:48

sounds wonderful kelly

congratulations

Boobz · 23/10/2011 13:59

What a fabulous story Kelly! How utterly gorgeous - am really really pleased for you. I wonder what I will do with my DDs this time around - sending one to a friend's house is do-able, but both of them?! I hope I go quickly in the middle of the night with them both asleep!

KellyKettle · 23/10/2011 17:30

How old are they Boobz? Old enough to watch?

I was pleased DD was there although it did put pressure on me to be her mum first, labouring woman second. That was hard.

Funny thing is, a week on, I feel like I could do it all again and a bit sad that DD2 will be my last baby. I assume this will pass Sad

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 23/10/2011 23:25

aw I feel like that already KK and I've still got up to 6 weeks to go til birth! Your story is lovely, sounds so calm - and god don't feel guilty about DD1, you did what you needed to at the time, made me well up the thought of you and your girls all haring your bed on your first night together.

My mum has categoricaly said I'm to call her as soon as I go into labour and she'll immediately come and get DS - it can take her 1.5-2hours to get to us, she then said she's happy to have him for a few days if we want to get some time with just the baby, but think we'll play that one by ear - I might want him straight home again. At least we'll def be sorted.

boobz you know the M-R-W's will have both the pots in a heartbeat!

nothing from jojo still?

I've been going through all of DS's clothes tonight that we've kept, putting them in piles for friends seeing as we know we're hvaing a girl this time, but keeping the gender nuetral tiny baby clothes, and sorting through the handmedowns we've already been given...am getting so excited about having a daughter. It's taken a long time for me to get my head around it, I was pretty keen on having another boy to be honest!

elgoldenflower · 24/10/2011 14:04

Hi people,

Been lurking on here as I've not been sure what to post but I just read your story Kelly and found it really moving and encouraging when I really need a boost.

I'm 39+3 with my first and all booked in for a homebirth.

I'm finding the last bit of waiting just really tough and very emotional (completely exacerbated by hormones). I've been stuck mostly at home for a long time as I have SPD which is only really relieved if I don't walk anywhere much. So I've just got too much time on my hands to fret and worry that something will go wrong, or that this baby will just never come out.

Anyway just wanted to say this thread has given me a boost of encouragement when nothing else is thank you

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 24/10/2011 16:55

Girlwith totally understand about gender fears. I have 3 yr old DD and we are having a boy. I am a bit freaked out cos I 'get' girls (and DP has a DD from a previous, so we assumed his swimmers favoured girls!) plus we have lots of girl clothes to be reused! So..am a bit petrified about the prospect of a boy, don't want to muck it up!

Almost 37 weeks here and still almost 2 weeks left to work :(

IM dropping homebirth pack off next week though!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 24/10/2011 19:14

wow you're working right up til the last minute mrsarch

tis a weird concept having a girl, has taken quite a while to get our heads round it, so really glad we found out at the scan

welcome el, hopefully not too long for you to go - the baby WILL come out, whatever happens! Being confined to the house because of SPD really sucks though, you have my sympathy, I have to work hard to monitor mine and tread a fine balance between walking too much and sitting too much, bloody agony!

HoneyLovesCake · 25/10/2011 14:16

Loved your birth story KK I'm really looking forward to it now...feeling really antsy. [hsmile]

KellyKettle · 25/10/2011 17:22

Thanks elgolden, Mousey & honey

How many weeks are you honey?

MrsA homebirth pack - that's exciting! Are you all set?

I can't believe it's been and gone for me. I feel like I should leave the thread now.

3 pregnant friends have emailed me about homebirth so I may have converted a few people...Smile

KellyKettle · 25/10/2011 17:23

Ooh elgolden you're really close! How do you feel today.

elgoldenflower · 25/10/2011 18:28

Managing the waiting a bit better today.

Naively booked a builder to come and do some minor repairs and he phoned to say he could start tomorrow - will only be a couple of days so now I'm hoping Bubs stays put until Friday but I'm sure he'll come when he wants to.

Had to warn the builder that I might have to send him away if I go into labour as we're having a homebirth Grin!

HoneyLovesCake · 25/10/2011 21:40

I'm 34+4 KK but I have a feeling it's going to take a crowbar to shift this baby [hgrin]

DP read your birth story tonight & we were wondering which pool you used as the water seemed to stay hot for a really long time. I've just bought a La Bassine & I'm hoping it holds heat as well as our water tank doesn't hold much.

KellyKettle · 26/10/2011 02:36

We used Birth Pool In A Box. Does La Bassine have a cover? We filled it with the covet on and when the water started to cool, turned the tap off and left the cover on,

We were pretty surprised too. Smile

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 26/10/2011 08:57

Right, I have booked in a birth preparation session with my yoga teacher for DH and I, followed by a massage and pressure point lesson for DH with my pregnancy massage therapist (I know I sound like a total hippy but in all honesty the only pain relief that consistently worked for my last homebirth was the acupressure and massage)....am starting to get the fear about labour a little bit now, the last half hour with DS (7cm - birth with second stage 6mins) felt so out of control because it just happened so quickly after a fairly steady build up stage over several hours so am getting us prepared as though it's the first time again!

Feeling incredibly heavy suddenly, so I guess the countdown has really begun (though the thought it could be another 6, not 4, weeks is a bit of a downer!)

HoneyLovesCake · 26/10/2011 14:04

KK They do come with covers now but I bought mine on ebay, picking it up on Friday & I don't think it has a cover. Might try to get one or maybe come up with something makeshift.

Sorry you're feeling worried Mousey have you tried any hypno methods or meditation. I know you've already had a scare from your first birth so your situation is very different but I was terrified of labour until I did the hypnobirthing course; I may be naive but I'm really looking forward to it now [hsmile] I never thought I'd be able to say that.

KellyKettle · 26/10/2011 15:26

Apparently bubble wrap is a good cover. I think something makeshift should do it.

Mousey I had a shocker of a birth with DD1 and thought I would feel afraid going into labour this time but I didn't at all.

I didn't try not to be afraid. I think being at home stopped me feeling scared, it just kept everything feeling normal and calm.

I had the fear before hand and even considered taking my consultant up on her offer of an ELCS. I think it's normal.

HoneyLovesCake · 27/10/2011 09:45

Bubble wrap it is then, unless DP has a spare bit of Thinsulex closer to the time (amazing multi foil insulating stuff...he's a roofer) [hwink]

Think it's been a week since we heard from jojo I hope everything went ok & she's just enjoying her time with LO.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 27/10/2011 12:32

37+1 for me here. Still got one more week in work! I'm working from home though so not all bad. I got a leaflet from my acupuncturist about pressure points in labour and we've tested the birth pool (in a box). Can't believe how big it is!
Just need to buy some cheap towels and a cheap bucket for the placenta. MW is supplying tens machine, which is great.
I had a bad night Tues - all night with mild but continuous period pain. Almost called mw. Gone now and am just hoping it's things gearing up. I was induced with a drip with my first, so went straight into big contractions. Have no idea what early labour feels like.

I would like baby to hang on till about 39 weeks (famous last words) cos I have a few treats planned for me whilst DD is in nursery :)

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 27/10/2011 14:17

thanks for the reassurance KK and honey, to be honest I'm not living in abject fear of labour, I think it's just the realisation it will be happening soon and the last half hour just felt so fast, but until then it was very calm and in control - keep reminding myself I've done this before, I did it at home and had a brilliant experience compared to many. A bit of fear is probably good, means I'll at least prepare for it and I totally trust my midwife and her team. Also I was in a bit of a state yesterday because suddenly had terrible SPD symptoms for a few hours, today it's much better so I'm generally calmer I think.

MrsArch did you go to your due date last time? Sorry you had a bad night the other night, I'm only starting to get broken sleep now (36weeks today) but it's mainly dream orientated rather than pain, but has made me realise I need to rest up during DS's naps as much as poss - thank god he still naps!!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 27/10/2011 14:19

BTW this is the last stats updtae - add and graduate yourself ladies!!

DUE
LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn, due 8 September
RealityVonCrapp , due 19 September, DC3
Jammyscone, due 21 September, DC1
2blackcats, due 22 September, DC2
KateeTheBump, due 16 October, DC1
KellyKettle, due 28 Oct, DC2
GirlWithTheMouseyHair, due 24 November, DC2
Tortoiseonthehalfshell, due 26 November, DC2;
usingapseudonym, due 2 Dec, DC2
redheadbedhead, due 23 Jan 2012 DC1
Boobz, due March 2012, DC3

ARRIVED
SelinaDoula, Baby boy Finn arrived 5 days overdue Aug 3, quick homebirth but transfer due to tear.
JenniL, Baby girl Elise Olivia arrived 28 Aug, crash section due to placental abruption.
KtisPG, Baby boy Edwin James arrived very overdue on 10 Sept, fab hospital waterbirth.
Nannyl, Baby girl born 14 Sept, amazing hypnobirth at home.
MissTriangle, Baby girl Eva born 19 Sept, long labour with transfer to hospital for C-section.

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