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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

First time home birthers and their support squad

999 replies

jollyjoanne · 21/03/2009 20:17

Not a homebirther personally but wanting to offer support to Boobz and others who are going for a home birth . . .

OP posts:
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nickelbabe · 03/12/2011 16:40

describe your contractions, Honey
My midwife said that they'll feel like the tightenings, but they'll hurt (ie be much stronger) and they will last a while (like, the twinges I had earlier lasted long enough for me to think "ooh, i'm having a twinge" but these are now long enough for me to work out when they started, write it down, think "oh, a twinge" and then sit for a while working out whether it's painful (so nearly a minute, i'd say)
and these have been ending in an achy back.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 04/12/2011 09:46

Sadly no news here. After a good morning of progress/contractions yesterday and getting to 3cm, eberything stopped and slowed and we got a full night's sleep. Midwife coming back this morning and I just feel guilty that MIL having to look after DD for another day. Had 1 contraction this morning but that's it. Sigh. Hoping today is the day - pool looks very inviting!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/12/2011 12:45

rest up then MrsArch, and go for a long walk. The painful BH turned into te real thing for me ater walking half an hour to get a friend from a bus stop (should qualify it's normally 10mins but the SPD made it longer!)

Promise to do my birth story today!

nickelbabe · 04/12/2011 13:31

good night's sleep is goood.
it's your body giving you reserves for the long haul
:)

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 04/12/2011 14:07

Still no sign of anything!

IM has been and waters intact, baby's heartrate fine, urine fine, blood pressure fine BUT she is a bit concerned labour has stalled. I'm not 42 weeks yet (41+4) but she has suggested we go into hospital for some monitoring.
She is being very supportive and will act as my advocate and has said she will support me whatever I decide but i am terrified of hospital and the pressure they would put me under to stay in.

She's given me a sweep and I'm walking the house/going up stairs etc but I am terrified things won't start again and I will end up flat on my back with a monitor.

I've refused going in today provided all is good with the heart beat but said i will consider it for tomorrow.
The way i see it, it's really my first labour as DD was EMCS at 3cm so it could take a while. I just don't know how to get the contractions going again!!

Could really do with some supportive words!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/12/2011 19:23

you can do this MrsArch, keep as active as possible and stick to your guns if there's no medical reason to keep you in hospital

Hunker down with music that will chill you out,use visualisations....you'll be cuddling your baby really really soon!

HoneyLovesChristmasCake · 05/12/2011 11:30

MrsArch I'm 99% sure I've been in latent stage since last Tuesday Xmas Shock not what I was expecting but I guess for some of us these things take time & lots of it! The past 3 days I've been sure LO was on the way; Friday tightenings were 4mins apart, Saturday 3mins 30 & yesterday 3mins apart & REALLY strong...no idea if I'm dilated or not as I'm not having VEs but if I had been examined I might be in your shoes now.

Tbh I don't see any reason that you should go into hospital today or tomorrow Xmas Confused; baby's heart rate is fine, you're still able to sleep so not too tired to labour & your waters haven't broken so no risk of infection...you're just having a long labour & you''ve not stalled, your body is just taking a well earned rest before things kick off again. Relax & enjoy the break I'm sure we'll both have our babies soon. Xmas Smile

nickelbabe · 05/12/2011 13:08

I found on the NICE guidelines for induction, that if you refuse induction, they have to offer you monitoring at least twice-weekly. (my PCT told me every day after the refusal, but NICE officially gives you a bit more time than that)

nickelbabe · 05/12/2011 13:10

oh, Honey - i know waht you mean! I foolishly read "week 40" of the crappy Emma's Diary this morning - stupid woman was due on the Monday, then on the Thusday, she conveniently got contractions that were about a minute long, and kept getting closer together, sio they went into hospital and a baby was born after a few hours.
nothing about having squits, nausea, three days of false alarms. HmmAngry

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 05/12/2011 18:33

Advice anyone? Went for monitoring and all seems ok but the blimmin scan showed baby is head down but the head is to the right of the pelvis, and not in the pelvis. They're now saying he may get stuck during labour. The mw touched baby's head during yesterdays sweep so I think/hope baby is just naturally engaging and bouncing out but I'm worried. Anyone have any advice?

EdlessAllenPoe · 05/12/2011 19:54

hi mrsarch...

what did your IM say? surely the baby can move any time up to and including during labour?

EdlessAllenPoe · 05/12/2011 20:03

and other advice: i don't know what the exact circs of your first birth were but this time you will have support with you. knowledgeable support. Please try to trust them - though i know how hard that can be.
MW touching baby's head sounds promising though.

nickelbabe · 05/12/2011 22:11

i can't imagine that the baby will stay in the position for a moment!
That's just daft.

the baby will move into the correct position when the contractions start - that's the job of the contractions.

if it were any other likelihood, they would not let you continue with a home birth.

EdlessAllenPoe · 06/12/2011 12:57

well, quite, my 1st and 3rd babies did not engage fully prior to labour (one was OP, the other born with hand by head so there was always wiggle space)

EdlessAllenPoe · 06/12/2011 15:39

how are you today mrsarch

HoneyLovesChristmasCake · 08/12/2011 13:14

Copied from Due Dec Thread (sorry so little time right now!):

Sorry I haven't had a chance to read any messages so congrats to anyone who's had their baby

You may have guessed from my absence....our beautiful baby boy was born 7:34pm on Tuesday 6th December (my birthday, well, our birthday now) 8lb 14oz, we haven't agreed on a name yet but I'll keep you informed & will try to get a picture up really soon. A bit sore & achey but we're doing great & he's latching & sleeping well.

I had a leak at 3am, more at 630am but truly felt waters pop at 7am, at that point I thought I might be able to get some sleep still Xmas Grin but 10 mins later we were downstairs filling the pool. It's mostly a blur, I'll probably post a more detailed birth story on the homebirth thread when I make sense of it all. Basically I laboured the day at home with pool & hypno breathing for pain relief but ended up being transferred in for a very quick ventouse delivery as baby's head was a bit too big & I my pelvis was a bit too small...sounds worse than it was Xmas Hmm

I have 2 days worth of messages to catch up on so this might be my only message for the day. Take care...labour vibes to all who want them Xmas Smile

Boobz · 29/12/2011 13:36

Congratulations Honey! I was wondering where you had got to...

So everything is up in the air for my homebirth in London. Looks like the house I was supposed to be house-sitting in for 2 months in Feb and March has gone belly up (the guy who owns it has just broken up with his long time girlfriend whilst travelling in Argentina, which means he might come home early from travelling with her and want his place back, naturally) so I now don't have anywhere to come back and live from 36 weeks pregnant through to the baby being about 4 weeks old and we return to Kenya. Was also planning to give birth in that house so even if I did manage to sort somewhere out to live, I might have to go into hospital to give birth which I really don't want....

So now am looking into possibility of home birth in Kenya! Which is not really the done thing around here (or at least not at the British High Commission) and so am trying to find as much info as possible. My wonderful midwife (and friend) in the UK says she will come to deliver the baby, but I'm not sure about the legalities of that as she won't be registered in Kenya and therefore no insurance etc...

Argh, what to do! I have to make my mind up within about 10 days! Does anyone have a spare house in the Lambeth area which can house 2 adults, 2 toddlers and a newborn for 8 weeks from early Feb? and not cost me more than about £2k for the entire period (this is the allowance I get for the FCO for coming back to give birth...)

HidingInTheUndergrowth · 29/12/2011 16:39

Oh dear boobz sounds like a bit of a disaster! Unfortunately I don't think I can be much help on the house front, can't see my little 2 bed flat in hampshire fitting two women giving birth plus family :o

I know this would be a rather expensive option but could you look into getting a short term let on a place and just don't mention the whole giving birth at home business to the landlord?

Boobz · 23/03/2012 09:52

Hello all,

Well, I think another homebirth thread has been started but then it died and no one really posted on it - so I am going to post my birth story here - mainly as that will mean all three of mine had their birth announcement and stories on here and that feels just right.

So, in case anyone is still interested, Kit Samuel Reed arrived on Monday 5th March, just a couple of weeks before his eldest sister's 3rd birthday. We did have our homebirth and it happened in Nairobi, Kenya, of all places! It went something like this:

Juliet (the UK midwife I mentioned in my post above, and who agreed to fly out to deliver the baby) arrived on Tuesday morning a few days before my due date, and we had a packed itinerary from the first day. She wanted to see ?real Kenyan midwifery? so I had arranged some shadowing at the Nairobi Women?s Hospital through a contact of mine. It was quiet on the ward but we did meet some post natal ladies and a special care baby in the NICU. A lovely midwife called Eunice showed us around and we saw the delivery suites and so on (but no babies being born, unfortunately). It was the 29th of February however, and I think perhaps no ladies wanted babies with a birthday every 4 years, so sensibly kept their legs crossed on the afternoon we visited.

The next day we went up to Lake Nakuru (just Juliet and I, as my husband Edward had to work) which is about 2.5 hours from Nairobi, planning to come back the next day on my due date after seeing some wildlife in a national park. Juliet had never been on safari and we got to see lions, giraffes, antelopes, baboons, flamingos, rhinos... (the list goes on) which was all wonderful and a really nice little break for me (although quite a lot of driving which wasn?t that comfortable with a 40 week bump!). We got home at about lunch time on D-Day. We then relaxed with my girls and went out for dinner, and then I asked her to do a sweep when we got back. I made Ed do the deed (he is a good sport, as I can?t imagine it was that amorous) and in the morning I woke up with niggly cramps. Did I say I love it when a plan comes together? Off we went to a tea farm up in the hills for a bit of a day in the sun and our last bit of touristy stuff done before the impending birth, and then by the time we had got home (after doing the weekly shop on the way back, I know - ridiculous) I was having very mild contractions every 10 minutes or so. So far so good. They ramped up to about every 6 or 7 minutes and were getting to the point where I had to breathe through them, but nothing major until about 10pm at which point I was howling a bit. The girls were in bed, Ed had lit a magnificent fire and the birthing room looked amazing in the candle light and with the pool starting to be filled. Then, it all started to go a bit quiet and the contractions died off, but not really enough to sleep properly. It got to 7am and the girls were up for the day and I was back to contractions every 10 minutes. Fuck. So it was not destined to be that night and all quick and easy like my second born, Connie, after all.

So the contractions continue through the day, Ed is helping watch the girls and I am sort of pottering along whilst Juliet does various checks and says ?oh, it?s going the right way, definitely, but still only 2-3cm). Pah. Rubbish I think. A re-run of Penelope?s labour, that is all I need! (4 days of which 3 were latent). Then Juliet and Ed and the girls all go swimming and I stay at home and by the time they are back, the bloody things have stopped all together! I go to bed in a huff at 8pm thinking I might as well sleep whilst I can, and Ed is starting to worry Juliet will be gone before things really get going...

Cue waking up at midnight in agony with massive contraction, which continue to ramp up in intensity until I am literally shouting as loud as I can and climbing the walls trying not to wake Ed and the girls up at the same time. They stay every 10 minutes though, so am not really thinking this is it yet, but worried that they are so strong, that I will be exhausted when they are 3 in 10. At this point I am swearing I am never having another baby again...

I get Juliet and Ed up at about 5am, Juliet examines me and I am 5cm ? woop woop! Ed fills the pool and by the time the girls get up at 7am, I am sucking on that gas like my life depends on it. But the gas immediately enables me to cope, and although they are getting more frequent, the contractions are now copable-with and the girls jump in the pool for a quick dip before school.

Off Pen goes, Teresa (our nanny) entertains Connie (as it?s Monday now and she?s back at work) and I am left to labour in the pool with my gas. Marvelous. The second midwife (Lucy, the Kenyan one, not Anna, the German one I had originally intended to use) turns up with all the kit. I go like this for another 4 hours or so and then start to think I must need to push soon, but I just don?t, so Juliet examines me and discovers a small cervical lip which she manages to push behind Kit?s head during a contraction (AGONY) and then with the next contraction his head emerges (this is all in the pool). I am blown away by the sensation (had managed to forget what it felt like) and then I start pushing with all my might to get his body out (it was all one big push from start to finish ? must go and see what ?second stage? is recorded as in my notes). Out he plopped into the water, Ed fished him out and put him on to my chest. He was bright purple and covered in vernix. It was 1:10pm. Thank the lord that is over I think.

And that was that. No tear, no bleeding. I get out of pool, deliver placenta and then go for a shower whilst Ed cuddles him. Am tucked up in bed as Connie wakes from her nap and as Pen comes home from school and they both bundle in to meet him. Perfect.

The rest of the day was just relaxing with Kit and having a bit roast dinner with Juliet (which was lovely as I couldn?t eat a thing through the whole labour so hadn?t eaten for 2 days!) and then the day after we went to Karen (a leafy part of Nairobi) to see elephants and enjoy a long lunch in the sunshine followed by swimming (not me obviously, I just lazed) at the pool and dinner out again before plopping Juliet on a plane last Wednesday morning (about 40 hours post birth). She is an amazing woman ? I can?t believe she came out and did this for me. The other midwife, Lucy, said that if I had been in hospital here, I would have ended up with a c-section because my labour started and then stopped at 3cm, and they would have put me on pitocin to speed up the contractions, and if that hadn?t have worked, I would have been sliced and diced by Sunday night. Thank the lord I pushed for a home birth, even in Nairobi.

Kit is amazing. So peaceful and such a good feeder already. A perfect addition to the Reed family. We are in love.

In case anyone wants to see, here is a pic of Kit on Day 2:

Kit

And here is a rather natty little video my husband put together using timelapse photography (let it buffer first all the way to the end before hitting play so you get the full effect).

Video

(Hope the links work)

Over and out for now.

kanga5 · 25/04/2012 12:21

Wow lovely story Boobz....and congratulations on the birth of your little Kit! You will be so busy now, enjoy the newborn weeks!!
Xxx

raindroprhyme · 01/05/2012 21:35

Boobz that is an amazing story and what a wonderfully exotic entrance to the world for Kit.
It is strange how i often think of you and can recall the biths of your children so well yet do not know you.
You were the inspiration for my own intended homebirth (which did not happen unfortunately) Thank you for sharing your experience.
Welcome to the world Kit. xxx

HoneyLovesCake · 13/05/2012 10:24

Just saw your announcement Boobz AMAZING Kit is beautiful, sure you're enjoying him! Loved the timelapse video & Envy of your birthing story. My next one will be delivered at home!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 07/07/2012 00:12

I had no idea you'd written it up!

Almost makes me want another ;)

Can't wait to see you and meet Kit in a matter of weeks
xx

Boobz · 20/01/2013 06:29

Bump, for all new homebirthers for 2013 out there..

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