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Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

I actually dont think I can do it.

81 replies

girlylala0807 · 29/10/2008 14:54

I am having serious doubts about being able to give birth

I am actually terrfied

And its bloody months away yet.

To late now I know....since I want the baby and all.. but

OMG!!

sniff sniff as I sit feeling very sorry for myself

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NomDePlume · 29/10/2008 14:55

of course you can do it.

You have to do it. The babycan;t stay in there forever !

kormAaaarrrggghhhchameleon · 29/10/2008 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lulumama · 29/10/2008 14:58

well, my dear, you don;t have a choice

whichever way the baby comes out , there will be some pain..

on a serious note, if you have a genuine fear of childbirth you must get some help with that, the sooner the better..

which bit scares you most?

would a doula help ?

do some reading up about birth ,something inspiring, ina may gaskin and sheila kitzinger are usually a good place to start

lulabellarama · 29/10/2008 14:58

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

CandleQueen · 29/10/2008 14:59

Nom, you sound like my MW!
That's what she said when I was feeling V sorry for myself about 4 hours into labour

OP, don't worry, we all have fears and it really is worth it. It's pain, but good pain, IYKWIM

thegingerwhinger · 29/10/2008 15:02

As the others have said, you can do it and you will do it.

What are you scared of in particular? Or is it just everything?

Neeerly3 · 29/10/2008 15:02

girly - stop watching birthing programs - enjoy shopping for baby clothes and picking out buggies - put the birth bit out of your mind. It's going to happen, come what may, so stick it on your list of things that need not be worried over.

My DH would come home and find me in floods of tears watching the baby channel on sky - started off being understanding and supportive "of course u can do it, it'll be fine", but 3 weeks of it, he banned me from watching them!

As it happens nature helped me out by throwing me into prem labour and having no time to build up to a nervous breakdown, I just did it - and now 4 years on I am pregs again, so it can't be that bad......

flourybaps · 29/10/2008 15:03

I understand its normal to be scared, you dont know what to expect. You can get through it and you will.

Just try not to obsess about it and my advice get a tens machine, gives you something to focus on, fiddling with the buttons in the early stages and breathe long and deep into the gas and air, its fab! After 9 months of soberdom its good fun!

I was petrified but when it all came down to it I just got on with it, no other choice!

Have confidence in yourself and what your body can do, its an amazing achievment I think.

Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 15:04

you can do it.and you will as its going to come out!what bit are you scared about the most?

Neeerly3 · 29/10/2008 15:04

my mantra was - if childbirth is that bad, why are there so many families with more than one child.....if it was so terrible mothers would stop at one - but we don't, so be strong, it hurts, but the second, and I mean the SECOND you meet your little one, the pain stops.......

KerryMumchingOnEyeballs · 29/10/2008 15:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

girlylala0807 · 29/10/2008 15:08

Im not sure really Cheesesarnie

Pain for a start which I understand can be managed. The though of it lasting days/hours is another issue. The prospect of looking like a complete idiot in from of lots of people.

I know im going to seriously stress myself out if im not careful but its always there at the back of my mind.

There must be ways to deal with it I guess, I just have to be more proactive and worry less I guess.

The support from everyone really helps though.

OP posts:

rebelmum1 · 29/10/2008 15:10

there are things that you can do to help, breathing helped me tremendously, just look into what you can do to help and be positive.

Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 15:12

what do you mean look like a complete idiot?
have you talked to your midwife about your concerns?is he/she helpful?

flourybaps · 29/10/2008 15:12

Honestly when the time comes you really wont care how you look, I couldnt get my head round that, have always been shy. Said to my mw cant I just pull my knickers to one side!!! But honestly the whole of manchster could have been with me cheering me on in the end I didnt care. Even got my baps out and dd latched on straight away in front of everyone was just caught up in the moment.

Its all worth it. Try not to worry about it, its gonna happen, you will get through it and youll feel very proud of yourself.

Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 15:13

btw i think what youre feeling is completly normal-as someone else said you dont know what to expect so feel scared.

Original poster

girlylala0807 · 29/10/2008 15:16

Being half naked for a start! I could be the worlds biggest prude. Just generally making a scene.

This is why It took me and dh so long to decide to have the baby, it held me back for a long time, then everyone else started having babies and we do want a family of our own so the decision was made I/we had to get on with it.

And now of course im freaking out. Its totally irrational I know but.....

its nice to know im not alone.

OP posts:

Saturn74 · 29/10/2008 15:17

Oh girlylala, don't get upset.
It is a scary time, but once you're in labour, everything will be fine, really.

Arm yourself with information re your choices, and write a birth plan, so you can be control as much as you can.
Do you have a birth partner?
Are you going to antenatal classes?
Do you have a midwife that you find easy to talk to?

Don't worry about looking like an idiot in labour - you will be surrounded by people who see labour every day, and their main concern will be for your welfare and the welfare of your baby.

You can do this - research all the things that are making you scared.

Knowledge is power.

Rolf · 29/10/2008 15:17

some sort of hypnosis might help. You are taught relaxation techniques and given CDs to practice with - it's all very gentle and very relaxing.

mazzystartled · 29/10/2008 15:23

honestly, by the time you get to nine months, you will be happy for anything to happen in order to get the baby out

and also you will have the benfit of wonderufl labour hormones, they can get you through it

in terms of dealing with how you feel ask yourself if you are the kind of person that likes to know about stuff, or the kind of person who prefers to just go with it. for me personally, i did not want to think about the birth bit at all until 7 months, and then read a lot and asked a lot. for other people. in either case, don't over think it.

a doula is a great idea

so are antenatal classes - our community midwives ran brilliant ones

take care of yourself

Neeerly3 · 29/10/2008 15:25

you don't HAVE to be half naked, there are ways to keep your dignity (long night shirts instead of a two piece pyjama set, hospital sheet over you for the most part, only whipped off when it's all coming to a 'head' ha!), BUT as others have said, when u get there u REALLY won't care!

Because we were caught on the hop, I was inappropriately dressed and completely unprepared - I had pj's on, so they had to whip the bottom half off and thus i couldn't pull anything down over myself even if I had wanted to - however due to premness and the fact it was twins, EVERYONE was in the delivery room and I ended up with one leg on a midwife, one on a doctor, squeezing DH's hand til the blood stopped and screaming my head off....but the second DT2 was out and being wheeled to special care - I had sheets thrown over me, tele switched on and the after birth hormonal high kicked in - I was literally on cloud nine!

expatinscotland · 29/10/2008 15:25

i second the hypnotherapy.

i listen to my natal hypnotherapy CD every single night before bed.

Neeerly3 · 29/10/2008 15:27

hi expat, not long for you now is it?

expatinscotland · 29/10/2008 15:34

he's due on friday.

not so much as a niggle here.

sweep on Sunday if his head decends any, which it hasn't so far, still sitting on the brim of my pelvis.

even if they can't sweep they'll ring the CLU and schedule my induction for 12 november.

i'm thinking i'll be here another fortnight.

feedthegoat · 29/10/2008 15:40

I had friends who scared me half to death with their birth stories. In the end it probably did me a favour because it wasn't half as bad as I expected. My advice would be just go with the flow without too many perconceptions of how you will be or what you want to happen. My biggest fear was needing an episiotomy (apologies if spelt wrong!) I ended up having one and tbh I didn't even care and would do it again. You'll be fine.

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