Who took ages to recover from childbirth? Help and advice wanted from survivors!!

[godivas]

Hello everyone, I actually read old posts about this but wanted to hear more details since I am really despairing now.

I gave birth to ds1 10 months ago. Total trauma in the delivery room. No episiotomy. Ventouse and 3rd degree tears.

I have so much going on down there still that I started wondering if I will ever recover from this.

Sometimes hurting on the outside, sometimes aching on the inside, sometimes a feeling as if my soft tissues are burned off at the enterance. Sometimes I feel as if I was hit by a bus on the perineum. Sometimes I am totally fine.

Anyone experienced such complications and pain like this for months and months after the delivery?

Not read whole thread but OP strikes a chord with me too, i had episiotomy and forceps delivery and also really struggled with bf for many weeks. It took me ages to feel anything like myself again. I remember feeling quite proud of myself because I made it to a mums and babies playgroup when ds was 10 weeks old, only to find that all the mums I had met at antenatal classes had been going for weeks and weeks - they were all like "where have you been??" Made me feel really crap. Why is it that some people seem perfectly normal just days after giving birth?? I am tempted to think that they are just good at lying and are secretly feeling just as rubbish as I did, but I wish more people would come out and be honest and admit how bloody awful it can be at first, especially first time round. Baby #2 due in Feb and am just hoping for a smoother ride this time!

i have not posted here till now, as couldn't face up to reading reminders of things i might have gone thru too.

Yet, i just did, and just wanted to say that my injuries were very depressing, and i felt like i was the only one, and that i had done it all wrong.

It makes me very upset too, to hear these stories. I just wanted to say i know how it makes you feel.

my tears, lacerations and things, have healed, but its 6 yrs on.

can i just say, that I am very aware on here that my new name looks like it says pricklyprivateparts,

how apt!!!!

These stories are very sad but good that we are all able to share this with eachother.

I had an episiotomoy and forceps birth 18 months ago and I still now have pain during sex. Therefore I do not want to have sex as I am scared that it will hurt.

I have seen a consultant who suggested removing some of the tissue from my episiotomy scar but I am hestitant to have an operation afraid that it will do more harm than good to an already very sensitive area. I just feel as though I do not want anyone or anything touching my vag! The poor thing has gone through enough! (wink)
I have also been referred to a psychosexual counsellor which seems the better option as it is less invasive. I was interested to hear about the other options such as physiotherapy and injections for the sore area which I will discuss with the consultant.

I also agree with others on this thread that it is hard to hear about those women (who say that they) are skipping around the park with new babies and having sex after 2 months etc when you are suffering and recovering from what is a very traumatic event.

I very much want to have another child but am not really having sex (so that is going to be a problem) and worried about what the next delivery will be like...

cappy1, if it's any consolation to you, I have been making a lot of reading about scar tissue removal lately. As lotster says, it may not be pleasent or easy but I counted so far 17 women on MN who benefitted from this scar removal procedure. Most of them say the result was fantastic. Besides, I tend to think if sex is already painful how worse can things be after the procedure.

pricklypiratepants, after some stories I read here on MN I started thinking I will feel lucky if my bits heal even in 5-6 years. I am happy to hear that you recovered.

bluemousemummy, it is depressing that for some of us birth had to be an awful experience with long term complications when it was only a one-day event for others.

am so angry. On train. Woman just refused me seat bc saving for her dh. So i asked if he was 7mths pg. Shetold me off for being short with her!! Now standing w loads of bhs.

sorry! Wrong thread!

DD is 3, and it is only in the last year or so that I feel normal down there.

Re pain during sex - I was recommended a cream by a female gynecologist who herself had a big episiotomy, and it has has really helped change my painful and hard scar into normal skin that doesn't hurt. I will try to find it's name for you.

refreshing to know that female gynaes with episiotomies exist too.. the name of that cream would be great if you can find it!

I haven't written on this thread before but I would like to know about that cream too and if it's worth using it after a longer time. I had a very deep cut episiotomy - my Ds was back to back and it was either that or caesarean -two years ago and I'd say it's taken two years to feel anything near normal again. I used to have stabbing/aching pains even if I sat down a bit too abruptly or at the 'wrong' angle and sex was badly effected for ages. My GP didn't seem to take this too seriously, saying it all looked normal and healed...

google contractubex I think that is the cream CoteDAzur might be thinking of.

Contractubex

biggreypants - Were you prescribed this cream as well, or did you read about it from one of my earlier posts?

Yes, it is effective on old scars as well as new. I rubbed it on episiotomy scar twice a day (quite forcefully, and counted to 50), inside and out.

It is specifically for scars resulting from gynecological operations and mastectomies. It worked wonders for me.

Thanks for that biggreypants (lol name!) I found lots of information on that including a mumsnet quote from CoteDAzur of last year:

Quote: ..."Which brings me to my first recommendation: I found a cream called "Contractubex" through a female gynecologist who herself suffered badly from postpartum scar tissues. You rub this cream to your scars down there twice a day. The difference in just two weeks was phenomenal for me. Sex is possible again and no nerve killing, thank you very much!

My second recommendation is to have your GP refer you to a specialist physio that can help tone your pelvic floor muscles. This is twofold (1) She inserts a sensor which you squeeze and hold. You see the strength at which you squeeze on the screen. (2) She inserts a larger sensor which emits a light electrical charge, to stimulate your muscles and help them tone up. In this one, you don't squeeze at all but feel your muscles tighten up (possibly well beyond what you would be able to do) on their own".

Thanks CDAzur!

Oh yeah contractubex! My cousin was using this cream on her scar after an edometriosis operation. Just last week I was wondering whether the same cream could be used on vaginal / perineal scars!! Thanks!

I hope it helps you, too.

It is amazing that we are not routinely prescribed this scar cream after problem episiotomies. If we are going to find such things only on MN, what exactly are we paying doctors for???

It took me 4 years to get over birth of ds.
Constant pain when stnding up, and especially when standing up with a tampon in, to the point I just stopped using themFelt bruised inside. Had horrendous episiotomy.

Now 14 years later, it is fine. I never think about it unless I read these threads, but want to reassure people that it does go away. However, I opted for a c-section with dd, as I was never going to go through that endless pain again.

What gets me is, all ante-natal classes concentrate on the delivery, but never on the "aftrwards"...ever. None of this was ever talked about, and I think it is truly awful that first timers go into this without knowing about it.

C section much less painful and easy all round

You guys are right about the non-aftercare. Why are women treated like idiots around childbirth and aftercare? So tough when you're at your most vulnerable.

I wish someone had told me/prescribed contractubex for me after my third degree tear. I had absolutely no aftercare whatsoever, well apart from a consultant sticking his finger up my bum at my 6 week check up and asking me to "squeeze". Hardly the height of modern medicine. No ultrasound assessment of my sphincter, nada!

I went back to my GP 5 months after the birth and was simply told that the pain I was still in was nerve damage, couldn't be treated and would resolve itself, which it did, eventually....

I still feel very angry at the total lack of aftercare that I receive.

Sorry for the rant...

Minnie, totally relate about the lack of aftercare. I didnt even get to see a consultant at my 6 week checkup, but a very junior doctor who asked me why I was there- she hadn't even bothered to look at my notes. She stuck her finger up my bum to and said all was healed. Months later, I had to pay privately to get a load of scar tissue removed by the NHS consultant who should have seen me at the hospital. He felt so guilty about my lack of care that he didnt charge me for the procedure..

I wish I'd found mumsnet earlier so I would have known about other treatments like physiotherapy, injections and laser treatments. Its actually spurring me on to write to the hospital and complain, even though this happened a few years ago.

theautomatic, you said before that the removal of the scar tissue didn't help you, right?

does anyone know if one needs a perscription for contractubex?

prescription, that is

I had a very badly healed episiotomy which caused me problems for about 3 years before everything felt ok again. It was a nightmare. My second baby didn't do any damage. Now I'm pregnant again though and a little worried.

Keirao- removing the scar tissue helped in some ways, it meant I didnt bleed every time I had sex, before, all the scar tissue would rub and bleed and make sex very sore. And it meant I couldnt use tampons. Removing it helped a bit. However, now seeing a dermatologist about external scar tissue around the ahem bottom. Its all rock and roll!