I went into labour naturally, but was put on a syntocin drip to speed things up - still not absolutely clear why, which did make my contractions extra painful and labour still took a long time for me. I had one shot of diamorphine which had worn off by the time ds actually came out, but it did take the edge of the pain for a while. Having ds was very painful, but also very life affirming. Shortly after this I wrote this, a bit cheesy but sums up the feelings that I had at the time about pregnancy and labour:
"My body has become strange to me, you have hijacked it and in it you have been cocooned, a caterpillar awaiting metamorphosis.
Now you are barely contained beneath my flesh, your fist pushing against the walls of your warm, watery universe, almost as if conceptualising this as the barrier to a separate world that you will soon inhabit.
For such a short time you remain encased, while I swell, heavy, full, more aware of my own physicality and yet strangely divorced from this unrecognisable inflated belly, protruding navel, taut skin like a rubber band stretched to near breaking point, my breasts full almost dripping, thighs plump, ankles red swollen.
I am Madonna, Eve, Mother Earth, human, mammal, animal.
Contraction aches intensify, primal pain originating in my abdomen, like fire from the earth?s centre erupting in volcanic waves, until the painful climax where anguish, despair joy and hope mingle as you emerge into this world, spotted with womb blood, damp black hair clumps, scarlet faced, beautiful in your prune-like nakedness, mortal. Born. "