is it true if you have a cs, they don't even cut through the muscle?

[bluegreysky]

they just pull the abdominal muscles to the side,as they seperate in PG anyway. then push down and clip the bladder out of the way then cut through the womb, remove bambino and sew up.

i can't really see whats so major about that.
not really what i'd class as MAJOR surgery.

I really think we have made the right decision going for a section although there is a part of me that feels sad that I miss out on that anticipation at the end. You know all the "Am I in labour?" and the not knowing what is going to happen.
I just turn up on the day, and it happens according to a schedule.

But the risks for me of scar rupture are high with the last only being a year ago and being so ill last time with pre-ecl helped make our minds up.

Someone told me that DH would respect me more if I had a VBAC, which has really upset me more than I can say

sherbet - that's an awful thing for someone to say regarding your dh respecting you more!

It just shows just how little people understand about child birth, and how little respect they have for a woman's decision.

What a stupid thing to say. IME men are the last people to care how the baby comes out. Other women seem much more interested.

To be honest DH respects me and how I give birth wouldn't alter that, its what was implied, that somehow I was doing something he should have less respect for me for doing.

I know its outrageous and total nonsense, so why am I so gutted about it?

Sherbet, only a complete moron would say that to you. Disregard it. Forgive my language, but it's poisonous bollocks, as I am sure your DH would be delighted to tell you.

Sherbert What a load of old pony! A short sharp punch to the face should sort that person out the next time they say something so stupid!

Unfortunately it's just the sort of thing that a family member would come out with (due to it being absolutely the last person you'd expect to come out with such tripe) ..... I hope it wasn't your mother.

I've got to admit that its upset me because his ex-wife had 2 VB, I can't do that for him and until that person said he would respect me more if I could I never thought about it.

He does say bollocks but I'm still a bit heartbroken to be honest.

Sorry, I've not been able to admit that to anyone until now

I understand how you feel, I would have loved to have been one of those people who can deliver a baby with no intervention too. I feel guilty as well.

But is isnt something that you have any control over.
What I try and focus on is that I'm lucky to be living in the time that I am. If I had been born before that availibility of modern obstetric care I would have died in childbirth, my DD would have too, and my subsequent 2 daughters would never have existed, so yes my body isnt doing all that it should do maybe, but I'm so lucky that there was a way round that.

extraordinarily horrid and just WEIRD thing to say. Ime either way is all rather upsetting for the dp/dh - all that pain and blood and stuff - and so they do kind of see how much you've gone through.

And imho - I was so very very grateful to do VBs because the idea of a CS scared me silly (I'm not good with that sort of thing - can't even watch Holby City) - so in my book you deserve EXTRA respect.

So there!

Sherbert - Birth/labour is not a competition, and a VB is not for your husband - if anything it would be for you and you alone. Who on earth cares how the baby comes out, who in their right mind keeps a tally?!

Your health and your baby's health is what you should be looking at, how the baby comes into the world is neither here nor there so push it from your mind - there's one very important word in your post: EX-wife, and that's even with two VBs!

sherbet anyone saying such a thing can only have some sort of 'slave mentality' about the role of women in society in general.

I don't know if you know what I mean by 'slave mentality' because it may be a cultural thing from my upbringing in the Caribbean but I hope you understand what I am trying to get at.

shebert, when I told me dh that I decided to go for an elective second time round, a look of relief swept across his face. He was off the hook! He was great in the OT by the way and practically ran to ds when he was born, forgetting about keeping out of the sterile area. He did manage to peep over the curtain - something he will take with him to his grave.

Thanks everyone, I know that for DH and I we have made the right decision and rationally I know when the comment was made I should have just thought and put it out of my mind, but it would seem that my hormones are all over the place!

Cote - did you really mean to be quite so rude. I acutally do know something about hospitals and surgery and don't need to GOOGLE the definition of major surgery. i have performed minor and major surgery and I certainly know that the definition is not based on the site of the surgery.

sherbet, I'm so and for you that some unfeeling, bitter, twisted idiot said something like that to you - of COURSE your DH won't give a monkey's arse whether you have a CS or a VB from a respect point of view - if anything, he will also be relieved that it is going to be scheduled and not potentially take many, many hours! To say nothing of the fact that your lady bits won't be stretched - a v. shallow reason but one that my DH admitted to being worried about, bless him. Luckily for him they don't seem too bad. (Sorry if TMI )