c-section a must, if refused i'll need to pay, advise on getting c-section on nhs or paying the nhs in wales, or private c-section in wales

[Ema76]

a c-section is a must for me.
i am really worried that i will be refused one on the nhs. if so i have to have options. can i pay the nhs to give me one? really want to have my baby in wales too which restricts me as it seems more private c-sections are done in London.
Does anyone know of a good private hospital in wales (south in particular) and how much it would cost?

Many thanks for your help.

but your refusal to accept that counselling will do anything positive for you is coming across as very stupid, naive or denying and your "its my choice I'll do it my way however I have to attitude" is just gobsmackingly naive.

no it might not - but it does me - and mine are already here

On a more serious note - if she's not going to take any counselling about it seroiusly, and has a DD - surely without trying to deal with any of the issues she has over childbirth there's a high risk of her passing on her own fear to her child??

surely lackadaisy you can think of things that you wouldn't change your mind on!?

goodluck sherbetdipdab. I have a scar on my stomach due to an abdominal op before so hope that helps my case

Ema - there are many things which I was long convinced I would NEVER change my mind on........as yet none of those things have actually held up in RL (and yes some of these are things which I'd been adamant about since childhood)

somethings are more important than other things tho! and this is vital to me

oh - so the things I had been adamant on from as long as I was old enough to understand about them weren't important???

Well, it may not help your case. They are more than happy for all women to have a trial of labour. It really will depend on your consultant and what they are happy with.
It is if you have vaginal surgery that they may recommend a section.

I think if a person is unwilling to undergo counselling for their fears then she should pay for her own csection.

We live in a rural area and the consultant-led unit is VERY far away. In emergency, you have to be choppered. Even then, it takes 10 minutes.

I am 29 weeks pregnant and I have two young children, one is disabled, I'd leave behind with a disabled husband if anything happened to me.

And with this knowledge comes a LOT of fear.

But you know what, if I just closed my mind and didn't try to accept some help (I have antenatal depression and a LOT of anxiety as it is) I wouldn't blame anyone in the NHS for refusing to do things my way.

That's just not how socialised medicine works and if you don't like that then you can pay to go private.

I'm trying hypnobirthing now, because I can't take a lot of the drugs I normally do to control my anxiety.

faq - you gave the impression that you were adamant about them before but changed somehow as you said they were "never held up in real life" if that is the case people are allowed to change their minds but in some cases people do not.

Counselling may not change your mind, but it will help you relax and calm down, which is vital in delivery no matter what.

Bet that consultant is going to smell your anxiety and possibly your antenatal depression like a shark smells blood.

i hope things go well for you expatinscotland. i will do the counselling by the way.

If the midwives and nurses haven't already. They're not exactly brainless people.

just hope that smell of anxiety gets me the cs with no bother then!!!

PLEASE DO IT!

For you, em, for your baby, for your family.

You owe it to yourself to be as relaxed and enjoy your pregnancy as much as possible.

It doesn't have to rule your life, this anxiety.

you mean if the midwife hasn't realised my fear yet expat? my midwife knows exactly what i think and is supportive

I don't get the whole 'trial of labour'... Childbirth is such a difficult thing and if a woman has psychologically decided she cn't do it, then she's not going to. Physically, she doesn't believe she can do it.

Ema - I had very different reasons to you, but also wanted an el. CS. My NHS consultant offered an inducement + trial of labour followed by CS if I didn't progress as needed.

I felt unhappy about that and went private.

But, I am sure there are private facilities in Wales - most major cities have some private facilities.

IMHO, if you want this weight lifted now, are adament you won't change your mind and don't want counselling, then i would suggest you go privte.

Good luck.

It won't, btw. I've already been to see a consultant because I have to work with an OB and a psych consultant to control my depression. I have to go again next week as am now in the 3rd trimester and they need to work out how they will adjust my meds after the baby is born.

A CS isn't a solution to that.

It will not make it go away and may make it even worse because you may feel out of control of your body during the procedure if you're already struggling with anxiety.

if i was asked to do counselling i would. i have said that all along. but if it is done to change my mind it won;t work that is all. once a cs is agreed i will relax immediately.

trouble is, you need to get a consultant to agree.

now if a cs is what you really want, then i hope for your sake you get one of those dodgy ones who just can't be bothered and gives you one rather than treating what is really troubling you.

No ema, I have had a long think about that and there is nothing that I feel so strongly about that I'm not prepared to take other people's comments on board, with the exception of things that involve breaking the law that is.

My DH might disagree though

yeah, i thought that, too.

best of luck!

Ema, I can totally agree with things you wouldn't change your mind on, I will not have a CS unless it is an emergency next time I ma pg, thing is it's easier for me to get that, the cons can't hold me down and make me have a CS, it's not as simple for you.

I will also not compromise on breastfeeding unless I have no other choice. You do have a choice, that choice might be to pay for it, but I really think it would be worthwhile doing the counselling just to make you feel calmer, incase you go into labour. Though you would still get the ELCS if booked in, it could be a really horrific experience if you are convinced it isn't going to happen, so prepare yourself for the possibility of birth, and get your labour sorted with either the cons or a private clinic.

Also think it would be good if you went back through this thread and put together a list of serious and real complication risks of a CS, rather than brush them off, so when you speak to the consultant they realise you understand and are happy to take the risks rather than think you've got your head in the sand when you just sweep them under the carpet like you have here.

Good luck.

yes I was adamant about them, some of the extremely adamantly so , but some circumstances arose which meant I HAD to deal with some of the issues which had my mind so set against them - and as I dealt with them and came out the better for them

I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't drastically changed my mind on several things.

expat - i won't feel out of control because that is what i have decided. it might not be a pleasant experience but the baby will be worth it. i am so so sorry to hear that you have depression and hope that you come through it. i am only anxious of vchildbirth that is it.

youcannotbeserious - i am not doing any trial of labour - that is just a way of forcing you into it. so i feel exactly the same as you. on the net in states that there is no where in wales to have a private elective cs. that's why i posted the question to see if it was incorrect and someone out there knows of a nice private clinic in wales.