c-section a must, if refused i'll need to pay, advise on getting c-section on nhs or paying the nhs in wales, or private c-section in wales

[Ema76]

a c-section is a must for me.
i am really worried that i will be refused one on the nhs. if so i have to have options. can i pay the nhs to give me one? really want to have my baby in wales too which restricts me as it seems more private c-sections are done in London.
Does anyone know of a good private hospital in wales (south in particular) and how much it would cost?

Many thanks for your help.

Ok I'll rephrase.

Your recovery will depend more on physical processes than your attitude. This was why my second section- the elective one (when my bladder was damaged by a slip of the surgeons knife) took longer than my first (emergency) one.

Likewise a straightforward VB will heal faster than a c-section because the physical damage is far less. Attitude will make no difference.

yes bethoo think it is about london hospitals. thank you

I had a positive attitude but I still cried for a month after my section as I thought I was a failure

so you can be prepared as much as you want and act like Mary Poppins but hormones are a bugger

This is the book I mentioned earlier.

It is an excellent discussion of the issues. Is not at all anti-c-section ( I found it very helpful when I was terrified of one) but does gives the facts. It will arm you with information if you ever need to argue your case.

jimjams I was not aiming that comment at anyone so if it is below the belt I apologise.

It's just that I went through fruitless discussions with at least 2 obviously disapproving midwives who quoted risk statistics at me which were a) not accurate for elective, no medical reason, type c-sections and b) not accurate for my particular circumstances. In the end I insisted on seeing medical staff to discuss my particular cirumstances and what was or was not appropriate for me.

I am also aware that if you want a homebirth in my area the midwives may try tactics like 1) we're not sure you can have gas and air, risks of transporting cylinders/gases in midwive's cars etc, there might be very little pain relief we can give you.
2) if the midwife has no experience of waterbirths you may be asked to deliver outside of your hired birth pool.
3) you are putting yourself and baby at greater risk by not delivering in hospital where there is easy access to specialist and equipment if/when things go wrong.

yes i have weighed up both risks. the benefits of cs don't interest me although i am aware of them.

but have considered the risks of vb (during and after) damage to pelvic floor, anal/vaginal incontinence, prolapse years later, tearing vaginal lining and perineal tissue, considerable pain during and after, postnatal depression/trauma (in my case if made to do that), death
as well as cs (during and after), including for cs possible prolonged recovery, pain after, hemorrhage, more blood loss, uirnary/wound infection, blood clots and bowel obstructions, including increased wind after the op, death.

a recent study gmc stated " an elective cs in a fit healthy woman is neither unsafe nor bad practice if she truly understands the risks involved and is adamant that she cannot accept the risks of labour or vaginal delivery.

I was very scared of having a VB, so much so that I requested a C-section at every single midwife or dr appt. They would not listen one bit. I didn't have a fear that I was going to die, I just didn't think I was capable of giving birth naturally.

In the end, I went into labour on time, had to be induced to speed things up and ended up having a c-section after 22 hours of contractions.

Second time round, I insisted and insisted all the way through to every person I had an appt with. I had the back up of having previously had one already. I met the consultant at 36 weeks, booked in for elective section 12 days later!

It took me forever (well felt that way) to recover. I couldn't lift anything heavy for 12 weeks, had 2 infections and still in pain occassionally now 6 1/2 years later. I was fully prepared for a section but no-one ever mentioned that I would still be suffering this many years later.

will get the book jimjam

so sorry that you have not had a good experience kid.

O.K. I think you are either naieve/stupid/ or in denial.
Possibily all three.
I wanted a cs with ds. And am due to have another in a couple of months. So I disagree with msdemeanour, that people trying to persuade you haven't had one.
BUT, I have at least contemplated the thought that I could have a vaginal birth. You should atleast think about this too.
To not accept that this is a possibility, is ........ stupiidty.

I had a very positive attitude about my elective cs. Still took weeks to recover and my DH having to help me get my knickers on int eh hospital as the pain was so bad I couldn't bend over. I also had a very positive attitude over the birth of my DS that ended up in a emCS. you have no bloody idea what birth is like or how you will cope with a section until you have gone through it. but then I'm sure we all had that "this is my birth plan and I'll stick to it" attitude before the birth. which is why we are now giving you the benefit of our experiences as we all now know this isn't always the case.

You asked for opinions on how to get your CS. you have been offered them. counselling is one of the big stumbling blocks yet you are saying you will only do it if you have to just to get the section; you don't think the HCPs dealing with you won't be aware of this attitude?

This is like having a discussion with my 6yo DS, except he is prepared to at least listen to other people's advice and opinions.

Women are coming on here to share their experiences and give you what they think is their best advice based on their own expereinces and you are brushing aside anyone with a negative slant on it with an arrogant "la la la I'm not listening" attitude. I would love to be a fly on the wall at your appointment tomorrow.

oblomov - you don't understand fear of childbirth. i am not naive stupid or in denial, i am aware what could happen but will do my utmost for it not to. you do what you want and so will i

I bonded with DS1 from the moment I found out I was pg (3 days before AF was due) - the actual bonding with him after he was born took me MUCH longer, infact I'd say he was well over a year before I'd properly bonded with him, not helped by the PND I suppose - but certainly I've found with all 3 of my DS's that the bonding after they're born is entirely different to the bonding and love I felt for them before they were born.

I was out and about within a week of my CS, but like fio - I wasn't "over" it. I was fit and healthy (although admittedly piled on quite a lot of weight while pg - mostly from about 20 weeks) and had a fantastic support network (I had my then DH and we were living with my parents who helped out a lot) but it was still BLOODY HARD.

will be polite to all hcp - but dont you undertstand that my mind is made up. as i am sure it is for parts of your life. if asked to do the counselling i will have to do it won't i. but that doesn't mean anything.

i asked for advice on getting a cs on the nhs or if necessary privately in wales!!!!!

as i said before, DONT automatically think that at counsellign they will try to change your mind

you MUST try to calm down and ENJOY this pg. if you go to counselling they might help you to relax over this, dealing with the consultant is a seperate matter, but couselling will help you relax

i urge you to try to calm down

pg and childbirth can be enjoyable, you know

you are missing damage to pelvic floor, considerable pain after, and post natal depressionn from your CS list.......

As for not understanding fear of childbirth, I wasn't scared - until I was pg with DS3. Atter what was, quite frankly,a HORRENDOUS VBAC with DS2, which I had flashbacks to I was terriified of it happening again, but equally I was terrified of having a CS like I did with DS1. I had help dealing with those issues - and in the end DS3's birth was the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me.

Although I've since split with my H I've met someone knew and we have already talked about having more children in the future and I'm positively excited about it, despite still having flashbacks to DS2's birth, and how hard I found DS1's CS (effectively "planned" - as I wasn't actually in labour).

oh I've had my mind made up for LOTS of things in my life.......but life doesn't always turn out the way we "know" it will, it often turns out totally different despite how strongly we feel about something - and quite often with a positive outcome.

I do hope you haven't "made your mind up" about how exactly you're going to raise your child - because that is something else you'll find changes as time goes on (speaking from my experience anyhow - and I don't actually know anyone with cchildren who had set ideas on how they were going to do things who actually followed them through right to the very end)

tbh i dont give a shit how people have their babies. its the baby that is important, not how they arrive into the world

Do read the book. It gives the advantages of an in labour section (as opposed to an elective without labour) so should at least remove some of the fear of going into labour early.He also talks about emergency sections and the greater risks associated with that. He suggests that in-labour non-emergency sections are safer than high forceps.

I have to say having had 2 in-labour sections and one elective the in-labour ones were far, far better.

i won't be doing this again so one cs is all i ask and i am sure i will achieve it one way or the other. thank you for all your posts.

if anyone knows how i can achieve this on nhs (best place to go with open mind to elective cs) or private in wales, please let me know.

FAQ "bringing up her children" doesnt bring her out in a cold panicky sweat

and no i haven't made up my mind about exact parenthood details!!!! it is probably the only thing in my life that i am adamant on - that is a cs.

I am booked for an elective a week from monday, mine is due to having an emergency section last year.

My consultant booked me at 18 weeks, but if I go into labour before by section date and arrive dilating he said I can go with a VBAC.

My emergency was due to a scar on my abdomen from previous surgery threatening to rupture.

When I met my new consultant he asked what we wanted to do this time as he was happy to do either, we said section and he said fine and that I was in charge of what happened.

If he recommended a VBAC I would have done that though.