c-section a must, if refused i'll need to pay, advise on getting c-section on nhs or paying the nhs in wales, or private c-section in wales

[Ema76]

a c-section is a must for me.
i am really worried that i will be refused one on the nhs. if so i have to have options. can i pay the nhs to give me one? really want to have my baby in wales too which restricts me as it seems more private c-sections are done in London.
Does anyone know of a good private hospital in wales (south in particular) and how much it would cost?

Many thanks for your help.

Just to comment on one point about home birth - statistically it actually lowers risks. There was a large study (Birthday Trust?) comparing similar risk mothers for home/hospital/transfer in labour births.

Actually, I must stop saying mine was 'elective'. I am not sure they quite classify as that. Mine have been 'highly recommended'. But I was very happy to go along with that.

Ema76...

How did your appointment today go?

Regarding the "I pay taxes" niggle that some posters have.

Ema76 was presumably exasperated by and defending her corner against this post by nervousal at 12.06 on 13/8/08

"And I disagree that "ultimately i should choose how i give birth when fully informed of the risks and benefits". If you have an elective c sec on NHS then its my taxes that are paying for it. If you go private to have one and (god forbid) there should be any complications it will be my taxes that pay to put it right."

Expat
22.38 13/8/08

"Well, emma, if you read the rest of the thread, you'll see the OP wants a csection because then there'll be no damage to her vagina or anus because she doesn't fancy sitting with legs akimbo being stitched and once you have a vaginal birth you're 'never the same'".

These are points gamely debated/acknowledged by Ema76 with yourself and others waaaayyy after her initial post and intital reasons were outlined.

To summarise these minor subsidiary reasons and wilfully mispresent them them to another MNer as Ema76's only reason for wanting to avoid the vaginal birth process is SHAMEFUL and done to elicit condemnation of her preference for an elective c-section.

Lets not bother with the original post anymore shall we, lets just have expat's interpretation of it. I think not, it is clearly about as reliable as midwives facts and statistics reeled off in trying to deter women wanting homebirths or c-sections.

You undermine your own MN poster credibility and IMO you owe Ema76 an apology.

I agree Ema's attitude has been a bit dismissive, however she asked specific questions about private hospitals in Wales. Other posters are within their rights to veer off the point, she is within her rights to ignore or dismiss their posts! She was very gracious to the people who actually came on to answer her OP.
As someone who had a straightforward, complication-free VB I think that she is well within her rights to ask for a CS. The taxes argument is nonsense - if she was getting her anxiety treated on the NHS no one would complain. I do think counselling is a good idea though, as others have pointed out she may be in labour for a few hours until her CS, and will need to learn coping strategies for that, especially since she has said she would "just die" - needs help to overcome that.
Ema- hope it went well.

sitdowngeorge, sorry was your post to me ? Are you saying tht I have undermined my Mn credibility by my posts yesterday.

Hope your appointment went well Ema76, when all is said and done the decision will be between you and your consultant - if he/she feels you genuinely need a CS and agrees this then it becomes nobody's business except yours and his/hers.

Please please go to the antenatal classes and do all the breathing exercises though - just in case of the rare event where you end up having contractions before your section - they will help you get through until the CS.

i had an elective c section, i had a terrible birth after ds and put off having children, i suffered lotsof problems downstairs, i coukld not walk properly for 6 months, bladder weekness and i also had tearing, which left me with terrible pain even know 6 yrs on. so when got pregnant with dd, i was terrified, i spoke to my consultant, i wrote a list of mty fears and worries, he was suprisingly lovely and considerate, he brought me bk two weeks later to confirm and book me in.
they wil probably offer you councelling just accept , but they are supposed to take your fear in to account and that can be a reason by its self
let us know how u get onxxxx

Oblomov

No, it was expat's post directed at another poster called emma that I cut and pasted there as being a wilful misrepresentation of Ema76's case.

My Grandmother died in childbirth (PPH) and left 5 children with out their Mother. An absolute tragedy which still reverberates for them to this very day. I sincerely never once considered an elective CS. That was a home birth without any healthcare professionals on hand a long time ago. I never once assumed a CS would be safer for me or my baby. Incidentally I had the same happened to me delivering DD. A huge heamorrage which I had to be brought back from God knows where alive ( I lost all the first moments in a blur). The Consultants told me this would have happened with a CS and that would not have removed the risk of PPH in the slightest.
I personally feel the OP has a kind of fear, a mental block about VD possibly due to drumming in of a horror story from her Mother. I really don't think she is very well prepared for any of it Vaginal or Otherwise tbh.

I believe (and have said many times on here) that women should routinely be educated by the NHS on casareans if they aren't planning to have one. I think ante natal classes should cover them so that when you one unexpectedly you have an idea of what is happening. I do think the not knowing contributes to PND in women who had their heart set on the all natural fluffy vaginal birth. When you have your heaart set on one way and know nothing about the other it can be pretty scary to suddenly find yourself in the midst of the other.

And, by the same reasoning, I do think the OP should educate herslef on vaginal births. If she doesn't want counselling, I think that is her choice. But, it would probably be a good idea to be informed about both possibilities.

My first section was an emergency and I was certainly not prepared for sequence of events that were to follow my failed induction. I didn't have PND, but I can certainly see how this would tip someone who is already prone to PND right over the edge.

Interesting points on both sides, fine; but as I said yesterday, I am obviously not against people expressing their views, and on a thread like this, you've got to expect a wide range. What I can't stand is when people do it in an unpleasant way. Oblomov, you say you haven't been nasty. OK, this isn't nasty, in your universe? You said this yesterday afternoon. I think it's as ugly as all hell, and if you really want to know, yes, I am afraid you DO undermine your credibility, talking like this.

Everyone , please give up on OP.
She doesn't want to know.
Let shope she gets what she wants. because if she doesn't , she'll be fucked.
Which will serve her right

PS - Slightly off-topic - Cote, if you're still reading, I am SO sorry for the ghastly time you've had.

Some guidance for future posters:

1. It's OK to want a C-section but only if you feel guilty and bad about it. If you don't, you have a 'bad attitude' and are 'arrogant'. So make sure, if you ever post about wanting a C-section, that you include plenty of agonised self-flagellation in your post.

1. It's OK to have a phobia or a mental health problem such as depression. Unless, of course, that phobia involves childbirth. Then you can expect comments like 'why do you want children at all?' So probably best not to mention it at all, really.

Good luck, OP.

Krang: It's OK to have a phobia or a mental health problem such as depression.

Of course it is. But the OP doesn't seem to think that she has either.

I thought she said quite clearly that she thought she'd got a phobia. I am pretty sure she used that actual word.

But she's not prepared to address that unless they make her do so. She hasn't answered any of the posts that suggested that.

Oh WTF? I can't be bothered arguing about this. It's up to her what she does. Bof.

She said early on that she has anxiety, and also that she has a real phobia of childbirth.

Well, she hasn't had the counselling yet, has she? Ipso facto, she's not going to be able to converse rationally about it because she hasn't fully examined her problem (she may disagree of course, that's just my opinion!). That's the POINT. At the moment, all she's got is this big block of fear in the way.

I was addressing Midnight (who I think may have just left the thread anyway) not VS.

LadyThompson, we will have to agree to disagree.

Fine, Oblomov. Erm, I think really it was the 'serve her right' part which I found unpleasant. Anyway...on a different tack, I don't think I've seen a thread on this topic, which hasn't gone like this

Everyone , please give up on OP.
She doesn't want to know.
Let shope she gets what she wants. because if she doesn't , she'll be fucked.
Which will serve her right

How unutterably vile.

I don't think it's the OP with the attitude problem here.

No, LadyThompson, you're right. And she won't have the counselling unless they make her, by the sounds of it, which means she might never be able to 'talk rationally' about it. That's my POINT. And my only point really.

Well actually I do admit that that wasn't the nicest thing I have ever posted. But I was very exaspertated. I had been very supportive of her. Daisy and I had particularly. As had lots of others. Who said, please atleast think about this. But no, she really didn't want to know.

Lots of other people before and after me, said let this go, becasue we aren't getting anywhere.

Krang, were you part of the discussion, as it went along ?
Its very easily to jump in now and say that.