c-section a must, if refused i'll need to pay, advise on getting c-section on nhs or paying the nhs in wales, or private c-section in wales

[Ema76]

a c-section is a must for me.
i am really worried that i will be refused one on the nhs. if so i have to have options. can i pay the nhs to give me one? really want to have my baby in wales too which restricts me as it seems more private c-sections are done in London.
Does anyone know of a good private hospital in wales (south in particular) and how much it would cost?

Many thanks for your help.

Sad that because someone chooses to have an elective they are a troll, a tax grabber/scrounger, a wimp for not trying a 'natural' birth and go through what a 'real' woman has to go through and have to have lots of shit thrown at them.

hang on - you said that your mum had problems later in life?

Though I say so myself I'm in pretty good shape (size 8, just over 8 stone - with 3 kids - can't be bad going). But nothing on this earth (apart from paying for a private tummy tuck) is going to get rid of the overhang that I got after having a CS. They stretch the skin to get your DC out, but don't shove it all back in again when they stitch you up. I'm 99.99% certain that the overhang is from the CS, as it wasn't there pre-DS1, and hasn't got any worse with subsequent children.

that's the point though ema...it has to be affecting you psychologically. your latter posts indicate it's more about vanity than anything else.

You don't want to give birth
you don't want to breastfeed
you don't want to take action so that your kids don't have the phobias you apparently suffer so badly with.

isounds like you are going to be a great mum

to be honest the latter is much more important the the former

ewwwww - wish I hadn't asked know - it may well be slightly different to what it was pre-childbirth - but it's not affecting my sex life so I don't give a damn

I have had a section and have no over hang. Am size 10 and 9 stone. (well for now anyway!)

I don't think it's inconsistent - having a birth preference second time round based on a previous bad experience (of VB or CS) is IMO very different to not wanting to give birth naturally because she doesn't "fancy sitting with [her] legs akimbo in stirrups". That sounds like vanity to me! But I do think everyone should take advice and counselling where offered and where it may be helpful.

faq - she had problems with her vagina and prolapse of womb. but comment was on effect to body cosmetically someone said you'll have saggy boobs.
i agree mumfor1standmaybe2ndtime - but i don't care what i get called i am no troll or tax grabber/scrounger (i pay very good taxes and so does my partner and have paid for this many times over). I don;t care about being called a wimp maybe i am! if being a real woman is critising other womens choices and not standing by the right to choose then i don't want to be one.

Who the fck really wants to give birth?? Be honest. Wouldn't you all prefer to skip that part?!
If this is becoming a breast feeding issue now too, then I am out of here. Blody pc crap on mumsnet gets right up my nose!

NO ONE said you'll have saggy boobs.

mine aren't. what they did do was deflate and the nipples stayed larger than they were after birth.

that happened with DD1, who was not breastfed.

i am going to be the best mum i can - the best anyone can do and be open minded to the choices they make. My mum is fantastic and a good rolemodel.
bythepowerofgreyskull - what sort of parent is a narrowminded, judgemental one?

and don't they put the patient in litho position for csections?

mumfor1st - well I have been told that's why I have the overhang, no amount of weight loss, exercise,sit-ups etc have shift it at all (so looks rather odd when I'm more toned up - top half of tummy looks lovely, then the bottom half sagging over my scar

even if you don't breastfeed your boobs can still end up fucked after having a baby

A good parent does what is right for her children, having some help to tackle your phobia would help your children and you appear to have no intention of doing that.

mumfor1standmaybe2ndtime - thank you for all your comments. looking forward to tomorrow with positivity and can't wait.

FAQ, I think overhangs have a lot to do with whether or not they stitch the layer of fat or just leave it to heal itself. If it's stitched then you are less likely to have an overhang.

Can't see some overworked and underpaid senior registrar with 10 more sections booked that day taking the time to stitch the fat layer if he doesn't have to.

mumfor1st.......the thread has kind of evolved into where it is now....any sympathy I felt for ema at the start has evaporated under the heat of her obstinate and arrogant attitude and her point blank refusal to acknowledge that anyone who wasn't agreeing with her had a valid point.

wake up and smell the coffee mumfor1standlasttime.
Thats not the reason why Op is being accussed of what she is. She is so adamant/ arrogant, it is beyond belief, as Daisy says.
I too have had one elcs and soon to have another.
But Op is being accussed of these things, becasue she is so.......
Not becasue she wants an elcs. Give us some credit. Lots of MN'ers want an elcs and do not get as many peoplel het up as Op has.
It is becasue of her attitude. Which stinks.

mumfor1st - I would do DS3's birth again tomorrow if I had to! Yes it hurt - but I was so elated afterwards, and still get a buzz from thinking about it now so I wouldn't skip that bit when/if I have any more children (ok maybe part of that is just wanting more Gas and Air as I love that stuff ).

But what is "pc" about breastfeeding debates??

couldn;t care less lackadisy - i wasn;t asking for agreement but i have acknowledge as many of the responses as i can even if i don;t agree with them as you don;t agree with me i wonder why you are bother to reply to the thread.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

There is some genuinely sound advice on this thread (on both sides imo), and also some rather unnecessary unpleasantness, which is a great shame but it happens every time this sort of topic comes up.

I wish people wouldn't get so judgey about other people's birth plans. I don't want a homebirth (for instance) but if that's what someone else really wants, I'm rooting for them to get it! In this case, the poor girl is clearly so terrified, I think it's more than a fancy or a whim.

Fact is, people have terrible experiences of VBs and terrible experiences of sections, and the reverse. Yes, there are risks of various things with both kinds of birth. Yes, the risk of maternal death is higher with a cs but it's still (thankfully) a tiny tiny fraction. Some people are happy taking the extra risks of a cs and some aren't; so what? Do we really need to beat each other up about it?

If people don't get the kinds of births they expect it's often a surefire route to PND and I really wouldn't wish that on ANYONE. Everything else aside, I think the OP should definitely try the counselling, not to 'change her mind' necessarily, but to try to ease her marauding anxiety.

I wish everyone the births they want, and hope that Mum and baby come out healthy at the end of it. I'm certainly not going to rag anyone for anything, whatever they choose. Jesus, it's hard enough however you do it, ain't it?

God if you're worried about your stomach do not have a section (or a baby come to that).

Daisy - I must have had one of the overworked registrars - I@m not really "into" the idea of plastic surgery - but having lost all of my pg weight my overhang is the one thing that really gets me down sometimes. Especially when exercise doesn't even begin to shift it (actually it was better before I lost all the baby weight as you couldn't really see it among the other fat )

Just don't like comments made to people about the fact that if they choose a certain birth they will somehow be a bad parent, that is totally out of order.
I am not saying a c section is easy (it is bloody hard and upsetting in places)or right for anyone but you have to do what you feel is right for you in your mind set.

My ideal birth would be in a water pool with calming music in the back ground, but I know I will end up with a another section as I am far too scared and it is all I know.

my mum did the same, mmj.

'you'd better tell the doctor (after i told her we give birth by midwife here unless there are complications) that everyone in your family has had csections (she forgot about my dad's mother, who had all 6 at home).'

and horror stories about what happens after v. birth - which how would she know as she never had babies that way? her friends? they were all postmenopausal so who knows what caused their problems, not to mention her own prolapse.

i had a forceps delivery with dd1 because she was OP and had her hand up over her ear cupping her head.

healed very well.

had dd2 26 minutes after arrival at hospital and no pain relief.

so much for that theory!