c-section a must, if refused i'll need to pay, advise on getting c-section on nhs or paying the nhs in wales, or private c-section in wales

[Ema76]

a c-section is a must for me.
i am really worried that i will be refused one on the nhs. if so i have to have options. can i pay the nhs to give me one? really want to have my baby in wales too which restricts me as it seems more private c-sections are done in London.
Does anyone know of a good private hospital in wales (south in particular) and how much it would cost?

Many thanks for your help.

the thing about phobias are they are an irrational rather than rational way of seeing the presented facts.

at least if you had dealt with your phobia, if you had a daughter you wouldn't pass the anxieties on to her. (which was my one and only point)

the advice about the counselling was initially given as a "how to go about getting your section" ema...the two issues do not seem mutually exclusive in this case and this is why it is coming up as an ongoing issue.

and as expat says, this board has a life of its own.....most threads do move on from the initial OP as other information is made available by the poster which are taken by those reading the thread to be relevant. As has happenend in this case with ema revealing the stuff about her birth phobia.

Good point, Slinky...

The option to 'put your hand in your pocket is, IMHO, quite valid'

The NHS offer a service to have a baby as nature intended. If that's not for you, then the option IS to go private...

And, that's not knocking you, Ema... that's what I did and it was the right thing for me.

have to say, slinki, that is the most sensible post I have read all day!

bythepowerofgreyskull - how can that be? surely if you deal with a phobia like spiders you should be able to hold one. like if you dealt with my phobia you'd go into labour skipping.
we all try to hide phobias from children for example i hate woodlice, when with my nephew he handed me one and I calmly said "do you know what these are and when they live?" while putting it on the ground. the panic i felt though - but i don't want him to be scared. with mychild i would say how they were born when the topic was crossed and just explain that not all babies are born v the best i could without scaring them.

slinkiemalinki - adult enough - that is very harsh and a simplistic view. you are obviously not adult enough to know that people have different needs and should be treated with respect.

ema, you do not know a VB will go horrendously. Or if you do, you obviously have the gift of second sight which would make this whole thread a pointless exercise as you know all the answers already

So slinkiemalinki, no homebirths for all of those MN'ers who opt for one because they tell us that they are traumatised by their previous NHS hospital birth experience eh ?

They should have NHS counselling to get over their traumatic NHS hospital birth or pay for private midwives to attend their homebirths should they ?

I know I said I'd drop this now but an inconsistency like that.......

Ema - I had postnatal depression (badly) after I had DS1 by CS although classed as an emergency - as it wasn't planned - it was more like an EL as I was sat around waiting for when they could fit me and wasn't in labour.

Having a CS (even if it's something you 150% want) does NOT make you immune to PND.

And you don't KMOW that it will go horrendously if you have a VB in exactly the same way that you don't KNOW that having a CS will go smoothly for you

i know that a cs doesn't make me immune to pnd but surely making someone go through a vb when it is against their will will lead to more problems. I do know it will be horrendous - I know how much i will panic and what i will be like. i do not want to tear down to my anus like i know so many do and sit with my legs akimbo for stitches. take 2 balloons - if you blow one up and mix it in even a pack of new balloons - you know which one has been blown up - damage remains.

to say that getting counselling would make you "go into labour skipping" is an insult to all women imo. No-one goes into it thinking it will be easy (as has been said before, it wouldn't be called labour if it was easy), but most are accepting of the fact that if they want children and get pregnant they have to deal with the fact that the baby needs to come out.

I have run out of patience with you now and would go as far as to say I think you need some help with more than your fear of giving birth.

I'm now of the mind to say if you didn't want to give birth what business have you in getting pregnant in the first place? And as you state that you have known of this phobia all your life; you should have had funds in place to ensure you can pay for the operation you want privately without wasting any more NHS resources than are absolutely necessary.

I had an episiotomy and a 4th degree tear with my induced VBAC - tbh that was the least of my concerns.

Healed up no problems at all.

And with DS3 just had one or 2 small stiches in, everything back to normal extremely quickly.

My pelvic floor is stronger now that it was after I had my first DS (which was the CS!)

and from your last post it is seeming like this is more about vanity than a genuine fear of giving birth.

Ema - I am NOT going to attempt to browbeat/coerce/gently steer you in the direction of a VB. It is clear you are terrified and such comeents are a waste of typing energy.

I am curious as to the nature of your genetic birthing problem though - are the women in your family all snake-hipped and give birth to 10lbers? Not a loaded question, just trying to establish why your fear is so profound.

i pay taxes. i have rights. and will achieve what i want.

and even having the birth you really want doesn't make you immune from PND either - DS3 was awesome (I'm still buzzing now when I think about it and he's 14 months old) - still ended up with PND.

Everyone , please give up on OP.
She doesn't want to know.
Let shope she gets what she wants. because if she doesn't , she'll be fucked.
Which will serve her right.

Oh dear.

the last post was for lacksadaisy.

there are many many reasons for my elective cs. you are never the same again is you get through vb and it is not for me. we do live in the 21st century and there are other options. why should i remain childless because i won't try vb - it is ridiculous!

oblomov there is no reason to use language like that.

i will get what i want for sure. and i won't be **ed as you put it.

Ema - You do not have a right to demand an El CS on the NHS.

You have every right to want one and every right to pay for one.

But, IMVHO, you do not have the right to have the NHS provide you with one.

PLEASE... DO what is right for you. But, please DON'T expect the state to pay.

I think honestly that if something is a true phobia that you can't hide it from your children. fears are different.

Could you honestly say that you would allow your daughter to have a vaginal birth when you feel as you do about vaginal births?

And to be honest the more you talk about vaginal births the less convinced I am that you have a phobia and more that you have concerns that you have no intention of addressing.