c-section a must, if refused i'll need to pay, advise on getting c-section on nhs or paying the nhs in wales, or private c-section in wales

[Ema76]

a c-section is a must for me.
i am really worried that i will be refused one on the nhs. if so i have to have options. can i pay the nhs to give me one? really want to have my baby in wales too which restricts me as it seems more private c-sections are done in London.
Does anyone know of a good private hospital in wales (south in particular) and how much it would cost?

Many thanks for your help.

mabanana read the article and the last part said

Ms Treadwell said: "The important issue is that women get good quality information and that the individual choice they make is respected."

thanks

only read as far as page 6

To the OP, got for a CS if that is what you want, but I am surprised you wouldn't jump at the chance of removing this fear (through counselling)

I really don't care about the choices people make for their own lives, but if you have a daughter and you still have this anxiety you will pass it onto the next generation and that really isn't fair.

Personally in your situation I would book in for a section but pursue every oportunity to heal myself of this horrid phobia.

A fear of childbirth is simply not a problem though if she gets the caesarean she wants. After that (unless she changes her mind and decides to have a circus troupe of children)she can go through the rest of her life never having to think about it again. It would be like my fear of jumping out of an aeroplane - ie not a problem in my life.

A fear of childbirth is simply not a problem though if she gets the caesarean she wants. After that (unless she changes her mind and decides to have a circus troupe of children)she can go through the rest of her life never having to think about it again. It would be like my fear of jumping out of an aeroplane - ie not a problem in my life.

thank you sitdownpleasegeorge i will and am very glad and luckly that my partner agrees with me - he wouldn't want to risk vb either.

Yes but if it isn't rational then that's all the more reason to take the safest route.

I was terrified before my 3rd section. I even considered an early abortion pill because I was so scared I was going to die in a third section (I am anti termination for me so this was a big thing). I had a panic attack every time I thought of the birth.

The fear was a direct result of my experiences from my second section. I found that counselling helped me discover why I was so scared, what it was that had scared me so much etc etc.

I tried for a VBA2C and agreed that it would be an early switch to section. Again this was agreed. When it was decided to switch to section I did have a short panic attack, but the aneasthetist helped. Had I refused to switch then I would have ruptured and ds3 would have died (perhaps me too).

When you're scared without any real reason (as I was) then counselling to explore those issues is usually a better option than just being driven by fear into something less safe.

mabanana, i think that everyone who has posted an experience on here has done so try and help ema see that just getting a CS will not automatically make her pregnancy and birth easier as she seems to think. I don't think anyone is trying to scaremonger or even get a kick out of it . Pretty much everyone is saying fine have your CS but please have the counselling to help you with this issue and please be aware that it isn't a simple procedure and can lead to more, not less long term issues. However, ema doesn't seem to want to take that advice on board and seems oblivious to the risks involved and is adamant that the counselling will not help her one bit.

People will always get a bit arsey when their perfectly reasonable advice is brushed away as if it is of no consequence....just like you are doing yourself.

I would also be intensely phobic about eating a sheeps eyeball, being trapped in a barrel of spiders, climbing through tiny dark underground tunnels, having to hold a snake etc etc etc....but I think asking for NHS counselling to deal with all these various irrational fears would be pointless, given that I live my life entirely happily despite them simply by easily avoiding them all.

"if you opted for an elective c-section and were aware of this risk (it is pointed out again when you sign the consent form) it is less of a shock after the event than no-one discussing the possibility of long-term urinary/faecal incontinence (and future attempts at corrective surgery) from 3rd/4th degree tears or a fistula"

I'm sorryn that;s rubbuish. If you end up incontinent from a c-section its just as much of a shock. Someone having said in one breath 'you have a risk of x,y and x sign here' is not preparation for incontinence.

"No risk of labouring alone for long periods of time in an understaffed delivery unit" sitdownpleasegeorge.....there has been plenty anecdotal advice to the contrary on this thread if she goes into labour before the date of the planned section. she will have to wait her turn and may well be labouring alone for some of that time. Counselling will help with that eventuality.

For heavens sake, Ema has several times listed the complications of both procedures, including death! Yet, she still, like many female obstetricians, wants to have a caesarean. I think it's safe to say that she is well informed. She has just made a different choice with this information, given the important complicating factor of her phobia. She sounds entirely sensible. And given that she wasn't asking for advice on how to get over her phobia, but on how to ensure she got a caesarean, then attacking her for not taking unasked for advice seems rather aggressive.

i am not oblivious to the risks of a cs - i listed them earlier but is the best option for me!

LackaDAISY - i am not oblivious!

I agree totally jimjams. I had been told the risks and signed the consent form, but when I had a bout of urinary incontinence about 24 hours after my catheter had been removed I was absolutely terrified about the prospect of some damage having been done and worried myself sick until things got under some sort of normaility again. Signing the form did not prepare me for the shock of standing there with piss running down my legs and being able to do absolutely nothing about it other than cry my eyes out.

Oh I forgot to add, please come back and update us to let us know how it goes tomorrow.

Good Luck.

Ema - don't you think that it would be good to try to sort out the phobia so you don't pass it to another generation?

thank you mabanana i did not nor never asked for advise on my phobia! just how to ensure my cs which i think is sensible and not leaving things to the last minute. i am clued up and have listed cons of vb and ecs. i know which why to go just needed advise how.

'And given that she wasn't asking for advice on how to get over her phobia, but on how to ensure she got a caesarean, then attacking her for not taking unasked for advice seems rather aggressive.'

Honestly, to be quite blunt, this board has never been the type to just tell people what they want to hear.

That's what makes it very different from other boards and why many of its members are here.

I think if someone constantly sees viewpoints contrary to one's own as attacks or mean or unsupportive or any of hte like, then it's worth exploring other boards besides this one to see if they might be a better fit.

And I don't mean that in a bad way, although it will probably be construed as such.

But when people put things out on the WWW on a board like this it is bound to happen that they will get many opinions, each as valid as the other.

Haven't posted up until now but agree with LackeyDAISYgal's last comments.

I do think that any woman contemplating an elective c-section for a first birth, for the sake of her own health andwellbeing, should be well informed before she makes such a decision, not just jump to a desperate decision based on pure fear. It's pure madness to simply stick your fingers in your ears and say 'la la la I can't hear you!' out of some sort of misguided stubborness stemming from fear. And I also think that any private doctor that agreed to perform an elective c-section on the OP without going through most of the stuff that has been mentioned here today would be acting quite unethically. Of course, there are doctors who will do whatever you ask them to do if you pay them enough. I wouldn't want those people delivering my baby, though.

sorry ema, yes you have said that you are aware of the risks but later comments from you about your positive attitude meaning a better recovery period amongst others made me question that you really appreciate those risks. My interpretation, obviously, and not your words

LackaDAISYCal, even

say for example bythepowerofgreyskull i had a vb which will i know go horrendously, even if, like you say, i deal with my phobia! - wouldn't that be worse for my next generation if i had a terrible time and ended up with stress disorder and just confirmed things to myself, ended up with pndepression . surely that is not a good thing.

Ema...

I'm going to stick my neck on the line here.

It's up to you what you do and don't want to take on board.

It's your body, your baby, your choice.

Do what's right for you.

When I first came on MN and said I was planning an el CS I got FLAMED.... By the time DS was born, I was totally happy and comfortble with my birth plan.

THat's the only reason I suggest that the sooner you get this out of the way, the easier it is to get on with the rest of your PG!

It IS your choice, YOU know what's right. You may well have to go private for that (It was the right choice for me) but you cannot do anything other than weigh up the risks against your own fears, needs and wants.

Good luck, hun... and don't be ashamed of sticking out for the birth plan you want.

I didn't say you should have a VB.

I said you should have a cs and deal with your phobia.

I've no time for people who have convinced themselves that they MUST have X birth experience, counselling will not help, Y is unthinkable and horrid or whatever it was OP said. I do not think the NHS should either.
Fair enough if you are genuinely phobic and you have tried and failed to get over your fears and cannot but if you aren't enough of an adult even to try to address your fears, I think you should either put your hand in your pocket or get on with it like everyone else does.