The thread for first time home birthers (or thinking about it) - over here!

[Boobz]

I only just found out I was pregnant 10 days ago, and it is of course early days, but I have been doing a lot of research and am seriously thinking of having a home birth.

I'm a member of my Due March '09 ante natal club thread, but I don't want to go on about home birthing there where the majority will be planning a hospital birth (don't want to bore them!) I'd like to start this thread for all those people who'd like to talk about the pros and cons, planning, expectations and realities of home births, especially if it is your first baby, or first home birth.

Has everyone else's other halves been fine at the thought of a first baby HB? Or did you have to do some convincing?

A

Excellent news captain karvol, this thread is starting to feel like some kind of secret society. Only those bolshy enough to ask even realise that we exist.

I forgot to say yesterday that the big plus of having the midwife come and do a home visit was that Mr Tupperwife was able to see her agreeing that it looked OK; very reassuring for him, even tho he pretended to be engrossed in PSP golf throughout.

One of the ladies I met last night had been told by the midwife 'homebirth is fine, but bear in mind that you may have to wait 45 minutes for an ambulance transfer even if you need a bluelight'. This to someone who lives 5 minutes from their hospital and has their own car; emoticon doesn't quite cover it. It's weird that despite living within a couple of miles of each other, we're having such different experiences! Different PCTs have different philosophies I guess

I'm due tomorrow, we'll be having a trial run of the pool tonight and then eating curry. It's definately dropped in the last two days but I really need to get those curtains finished...

Tupperwife - I hope your baby does come tomorrow before the weather turns!! Just looked at the bloody weather forecast for Tuesday and it's heavey snow falls from Sunday in my area. I do love looking at snow fall, but I hope it doesn't become an issue with sending a midwife out....not sure what the score is there!

Saying that, I woke up last night at 2am with quite intense period type pains....got so excited I couldn't get back to sleep until 5.30am. I was really trying hard to stay awake and time the pains! I'm sure when it's the real thing though, the contractions will be keeping me wide awake.

Today I've been on a walk, had a curry for lunch, eaten half a pineapple (which burnt my mouth more than the curry) and rubbed Clary sage massage oil into my bump.....and felt absolutely nothing!!! Bloody typical!

xx

Helley. YOu forgot the raspberry leaf tea and sex. That worked for me..... twice

o no....I knew someone was going to mention the s word.....

Me and my DP are going out tonight for a meal....will approach the subject then.

I feel like such a beached whale at the mo, it's making me feel really unsexy. I'm scared to even attempt it!

Helly and Tupper - can't believe you are so close! Definitely have a good night of rumpy pumpy - think it's probably going to be more productive than pineapple (why does pineapple work again? What qualities does it possess to bring on labour? I hate pineapple...)

Thanks for all the nice comments re nursery. Just baby sat my friend's 3 month old baby boy today for the afternoon, and was tempted to take pictures of him in the cot and pretend he was mine - ha! It was a good afternoon - nappy change, 2 feeds, 1 nap and a bit of play. Only one grizzlying episode but no full on tears, so I feel quite proud of myself! God knows how it will be with my own though - am assuming I have a little terror!

Bought a new car today - woop! - so there is finally room for a dog + baby + husband + me, which we have been trying to fit into our old school Mini for the last 2 months (obviously baby still in tummy though!) It's a landrover and probably too big, but I do like being high up off the road!

Come and tell us if you go in to labour ladies! xxx And good luck xxx

Helley, Sex is sooo worth it though, even if you feel like a beached whale. Honestly, I went into labour 2x within a few hours of having sex. So my DH knows what's expected of him from the end of April. Oh and I always think it's much nicer than a sweep or induction too ;)
Enjoy your meal. It might be the last peaceful evening out in a long time

I am 39+3 with second bub and sex hasnt worked for me!! I also walk 30 min a day, take red rasp leaf and evening primrose oil and do lots of housework and still nothing.. tho been getting lots of braxton hicks and periody aches..

With my first baby i tried castor oil at 39 weeks and then again at 40 weeks (nothing but the major splats) and eating a whole pineapple, bumpy rides, hot thai noodles, sex.. nothing.

Then at 40+2 i heard of acupressure and so i did that on myself for 3 hours and went into labour 2am next morning!!

Ive tried it again this time but didnt work, think you gotta be 40 plus.

Im getting a sweep in 2 days and midwife giving me Caulophyllum (anyone used that before??) so hope that gets things going as bub is already 9lb and posterior.......

Hi AlcieMumma,

Have a read at this thread regarding Caulophyllum.

Hi all

Finally back to post my birth story..Its worth a read if you are trouble on weather to homebirth or hospital birth, or if you are having problems getting a homebirth. It is extreamly long though.

Good luck to you all with your homebirths. Will be poping in and out to see you all are. Cant wait for your birth story boobz!

mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_announcements/696306-My-Home-Birth-After-Being-DENEID-Very-Long-Sorry

Yummum22 - thank you for posting your story! Just shows where pure persistance gets you! WELL DONE!

Giveadogahomebirth - welcome to the thread. Sorry to hear you're overdue! I've got 2 days left and to be honest this baby doesn't feel anywhere near ready to budge either! That maybe a blessing though considering how awful the weather is outside at the moment!

I've told DP he may need to read up on how to assist with a birth just in case the midwife gets stuck in the snow.....he looked a little paniced...bless him

The kitchen floor ?? Blimey, that must have been a pretty scary experience for your mom! My next door neighbour had her baby on the bathroom floor in Decemember and her OH had to delivery it. Worst thing was, I heard everything because of the acoustics from the bathroom and thought someone was dying! Her poor OH was in such shock and really angry at the hospital because they had sent her home and said she wasn't in proper labour! Completely confirmed my reason for not wanting to have my baby at that hospital.

Yes, this is my first and I've had some responses because of it...still, I feel a lot my relaxed than some of the women I've met who are petrified of going into labour. I wonder if worrying can actually make the whole experience of labour more painful?

Try and stay positive, I can tell by your posting you're pretty desperate to have your HB! Funny how children can pick up on how your feeling and start playing up. You've still got 10 days left until they request you go in and even then, you don't have too. I'm sure if you do go over you can request to be monitored each day to ensure your buba is ok....don't quote me on that, but I'm sure I've read that this can be an option.

Hello

I have not had time to read all of the posts are there were so many. But I wanted to post to encourage you to consider a home birth.

Here is why:
I had a home birth with my daughter nearly four years ago now. I bought a birthing pool in a box from the NCT and she was born in there. No stitches, no drugs at all. Just 'natural' birth in the real sense. 12 hours from start to finish.

I employed an independent midwife (worth every penny if you can afford it!) she did not question the desire to birth at home or indeed raise any issue of 'risk' etc etc.

My son, born nearly a year ago was due to be a home birth. Because I had delivered naturally and no problems with my daughter I did not employ a independent midwife this time. My son was born in hospital as he was an undiagnosed breech birth. Fear not however, as I delivered him naturally ( no pain relief or stitches) and I am sure that having a natural birth first time enabled this. The hospital midwife said as much. In fact because the operating theatre was doing a c section and because I had delivered without complications before hand they went ahead and delivered him in the breech position (very rare apparently!) The hospital midwife was excellent, the ones who came to me at home were awful and panicked as soon as there was any uncertainty. So it depends on the skill and confidence of the midwife.

This is not to put you off but to tell you an honest story of my two births.

I would encourage you to consider and research a home birth as it is not for everyone. There are many dissenters who will try to dissuade you. But trust yourself and you views and it should be fine. Of course there are no guarantees but the stats are much better when you birth at home and you wont be performing to a clock like in hospital!

Hi everyone - have we had any HBs yet since I was last on? Anyone in labour in the middle of this crazy weather?

Thanks Yum, for coming and posting your story - and well done for fighting for what you wanted. I can't believe your treatment during your first birth, but then I have had similar stories, so maybe not so unbelievable afterall? I have had nothing but support and encouragement from my MWs and NHS visits, so feel pretty lucky overall.

Let's hope you both start feeling twinges today GTDAHB and Helley - can't be much longer!

Only 2 weeks of work left to go before mat leave - woop woop!

xx

I wish Boobz I've still got 11 weeks to go!

I'm due today and no sign of little bubba!

Least it's stopped snowing for the moment and I don't have to worry about there not being any medical help sent out because of it!

Really hope baby makes an appearance soon, my DP is getting really stressed that he's going to miss something while he's at work.... . Not sure it'll happen than quickly, but here's hoping!

hi all, hope you're all feeling well and that those who are due are just about to go into labour! With DS, I went into labour after going for a 1 hour power walk and doing step ups in the park on a log. Got some funny looks. Can't do that this time because of spd unfortunately.. having to work from home, not going on leave till 38 weeks but at least working at home is easier..

Had the doula round last week, she did a bit of reflexology on my feet. She warned me about Dutch midwives breaking your waters without permission, yikes!

thanks for thoughtful post fufflebum!

I've re-posted the list, in case anyone wants to join.

Gemzooks, 31 weeks pregnant, live in Holland, 1 DS 2.5, planning first home birth with pool, due 29 March
Swottybetty. 29/05/09. 1 DD (march 08). croydon surrey
CEB80 28 weeks, Due 23/4/09, planning 1st home water birth
Boobz, 33 weeks, due 19th March, planning 1st home water birth, Streatham London
Helley, 39 weeks, 1st baby, planning HB
twocutedarlings, 36wks (tomorrow) and due on the 25th of Feb, hoping for DC3 to be born at home
captain karvol, 33 weeks, 2nd DC
Belgianchocolates, 26weeks, due 6th May, dc3 1st home birth, a water one hopefully

Can I join at 35w? Just been okayed for a HB by my MW today!

I'm actually planning on a non-waterbirth HB, so any comments from similar MNers apppreciated!

yes, giveadogahomebirth, I'm still here. Had crampy period pains again last night, but then fell asleep so they couldn't have been the real thing!

Due date was yesterday so I'm now offically overdue.....had a feeling this baby wasn't going to come on time.

So bored today, I put the birthing pool up for the 3rd time. Kinda hoping that'll spur things on .....

Sounds like your keeping busy with DD! Best thing to do really otherwise you end up mopping which is what I've done today. Going to head into town tomorrow and pick a couple bits up, the walking round will do me good.

Laumiere - welcome! Congrats on getting your HB, it's such a relief to be given the green light, isn't it? Have you got everything in place?

x

Ha, I've mixed some up with sweet almond oil and rubbed it into my tummy twice today.....it's made my clothes stink and only given me a couple of braxton hicks but thats about it.

Did try putting some on a tissue and smelling it....but it nearly made me gag! Nasty stuff....

My hat goes off to you having sex....I think that really will be my last resort.

Just wanted to share my homebirth experience with everyone .

I had my first baby in September at home, in a pool in my living room. A natural delivery with some gas and air and two paracetamol!

I did plan on a 'land based' delivery until the MW recommended I borrow a birth pool in a box from the hospital (I would really consider this, if you have the room, its really worth it.. and it can contain all the 'mess' too

It truly was the most amazing feeling; I'm sat right where DD was born typing this now!

My Dr and community midwives supported my decision to have a homebirth right from the word go; I didn't experience any negative attitudes towards the decision apart from comments from my mum and friends along the lines of 'a homebirth...for your first?? You?re brave!'

Actually, I'm not brave at all; I was in fact very frightened of going into hospital, more so than staying at home! From listening to other people's awful experiences at hospital with every medical intervention known to man being thrust upon them, not being allowed to eat, drink or walk around, being monitored and the thought of sharing a delivery ward with any old stranger and my precious baby. I thought I would have more control over the proceedings if I was at home, and I did.

I didn?t want any intervention. I just knew I could do it myself, I trusted my body to do what it was designed to do. I went to yoga to tone up my pelvic floor and learn how to meditate and focus energy to push into contractions, I also did perennial massage to stretch the area as I was paranoid about tearing and being stitched.

I gave birth to DD 7lb 11oz just in the pool, the warm water helped me and all my muscles to relax and it felt wonderful! I just had the water and gas and air. I didn?t any need stitches either.

Then everything went a bit tits up!! After DD was born the placenta refused to budge, even with the MW tugging the cord and having the injection. I did have to transfer to hospital and I really have to say after all my fear of hospital I just gave in and said 'do what you want with me now, baby is out and fine'! I had to have my placenta removed manually which involved a spinal block, an IV of synatoccon (spelling?), 2 litres of blood, an IV of saline and antibiotics and an overnight stay plus iron supplements!

I have to say that I have now overcome my irrational fear of hospital! Hospital was fine, the medical staff were wonderful, everything was clean and I felt we were safe, baby was tagged and never left my sight except when DH had her whilst I was in theatre. Food was awful, but I was sooo hungry I just ate what they gave me till my mum came with some butties!!

Overall, I have to say it all depends on the medical team you get. The community midwife was off on long term sick, so each appointment I had a different one, but they were all lovely and when I went into labour it was nice to have met two of the four midwives previously!

Advice to offer: have a plan but be very flexible as things can change; pack a hospital bag any way, just in case; read about pain relief, even if you don?t want any right now, you can get a prescription for diamorphine / pethidine to keep in your fridge as midwives aren?t allowed to carry these drugs, trust the medical staff to look after you!

Relax and enjoy the experience?this is the easy bit, believe me! Looking after a newborn baby for the first time was a total shock to the system!!

Good luck ladies, it will all work out fine!

x x x x