Nobody to care for older children for babies' birth - any suggestions?

[Kelly1978]

Hi,

I'm 28 weeks pg with twins, my due date seems to be rushing towards me and I have a bit of a dilema.

I moved to Croydon in the summer, and I don't have much support here. I really want my dp to be at the birth of our babies, and he wants to be there too. The problem is that I have a dd (4) and ds(2) from my prev relationship, and nobody to care for them.

We were going to have a home birth, so we wouldn't have needed childcare, but now we know it is twins, this is out of the question.

Has anybody been in a similar situation? Any suggestions would be really appreciated.

Try a local Childminder - they might be able to help......Employ a nanny/mothers help/housekeeper for a few days?

An Agency?

Not much help sorry

would your children be able to go to their fathers for a couple of days when you go into labour?

Could you ask your midwife if she knows of anyone? Does the hospital have any sort of creche facilities (unlikely I know) Could you ask a neighbour?

Can they not go to relatives? Can relatives not come to you? I know when my mum had me she had to leave my brothers with neighbours until my nan got there the followng day!

kelly - waht happens with twins? do you have a specific date booked or are you going to go into labour yourself? just wondered cos it could be easier if you had a specific date booked if you were being induced or having a c section.

im sure a childminder would take them - and they can be flexible (ie last minute, early morning etc calls) or im sure there is a website called 'emergency mums' or something that can provide childcare last minute. i remember this because my dh had it on his 'list' as we were sort of in a similar situation

The children's father has not been in touch since I moved, although he had regular contact before. He's a lazy so and so who lost interest once he realised he wasn't going to be able to just pop up the road to see them.

My neighbours a very nice people, but they barely speak english I live in a very multicultural area, and so it has been harder to really get to know them at all.

I would be happy to pay for childcare from an agency or soemthing, but I think it would be difficult to find somewhere that would take the children in this situation. The kids are very outgoing, and wouldn't mind at all.

My other option was to go for a csection, so that I could arrange childcare, knowing when I was going to deliver. The only prob is that it may take me far longer to recover, and my partner will have to return to work after a fortnight.

The midwife didnt have any suggestions.
It is very frustrating, because I want to be able to enjoy the experience, rather than dreading the thought of havign to go through it alone.

Nailpolish, I'm going to look for that site now, thx.

At the moment it's all a bit uncertain. My consultant thinks I should be able to have a normal delivery, and I should go into labour before 38 weeks, but I wont really know for sure until nearer the time.

kelly , have a look on the website for the council or phone them. dont sit and worry about this, talk to the council and ask them if they have a list of regsitered childminders and start phoning and visiting them. get it sorted now then you can stop worrying. you are bound to find someone nice who will understand your situation. you sound so worried, itll be fine. let me know how you get on.

Message withdrawn

Kelly, try SimplyChildcare (I think they have a website) - you do have to pay for three issues of their magazine, but that lists loads of childcare offers from experienced people, and you can put in your own ad. I am sure that someone like an experienced nanny 'between jobs' or a childminder would respond - or you could look and find someone who was advertising.

There are Croydon MN-ers - try starting a thread like 'help needed - recommendations for temporary childcare in Crodon' and maybe a MN can recommend their own childminder etc?

if i lived locally to you i would offer to come, why not put a plea up and then you could meet the mumsnetter in advance and get to know her. They are so many lovely mums on here.

P.S CONGRATULATIONS!

I've just been looking for emergency childcare, and bupa seem to do a backup service, so there may be others as well. I need to look into it though, because I have a feeling a lot of these are probably daytime only.

Thankyou everyone for your ideas, I will look into childminders too, and start getting a list of to call. A childminder might be a good solution, if I can find someone who would be prepared to take them at short notice if necessary.

Have a look here . Has a list of nannies and au pairs who can offer emergency childcare. Link says for summer holidays, but it you click on different ones for more info - some do offer emergency cover. Might be worth e-mailing some?

I know this is pribably no use at all to you :link{V\here} but it shows that there are such places offering emergency childcare around.

Kelly - with two kids and twins on the way, if you can afford it, it might be really good to have someone who can help you out for a couple of weeks before and after the new babes arrrive, too - it's going to be pretty full on, isn't it? Someone to help take dd to nursery or whatever, and get to know them before the new arrivals arrive.

Sorry link here

SimplyChildcare
Although you do pay for the listings mag, you then negotiate pay directly with the provider and [pay no agency fee or commission or anything. There are nannies / au pairs looking for extra hours etc etc.

Haven't had the time to read all this thread but a friend of mine asked our childminder / nursery if they'd look after Ben for a couple of days & nights. It worked out OK because the nursery is run from the owners home. Is this an option ?

I know quite a few childminders in the Addiscombe/South Norwood part of Croydon. If you CAT me with some more details I can ask around and see anyone is in the position to help.

why can't you have a homebirth with twins if they think it's going to be a normal delivery???

... www.sitters.co.uk is another site that offer babysitting services with registered sitters and they do nights/overnights - may be abit expensive, but they may be able to help if the local searches don't bring up anything...

I was in this situation and opted for an elective c-section although the local hospital took a dim view of this and the consultant said "SOCIAL"
reasons weren't a good enough reason to warrant a c-section and that it was our problem we didn't have childcare!!! Anyway I did have a section and dh took dd to school in the morning, came back to the hospital, I had ds then collected dd from school at 3pm to meet her baby brother. The irony is I have since made fantastic friends through my local mother and toddler group who would have had my daughter at the drop of a hat.

Good Luck whatever you decide to do.

I do know what you mean - I went out of my mind worrying when I was expecting DD2.I reckon you have to think of childcare with a home birth anyway - there's always the possibility you might end up going to hospital (DD2 was a home birth).

I'd think about a doula.